Tidings of Comfort and Joy
Dear English Professors,
Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I wish I knew how to tell you how much you have inspired me, how much I remain inspired. I wish you knew how much you stabilize my precarious self concept and ease my continual insecurities. Thank you for appreciating the effort I put into my papers. Thank you for noticing, and thank you for finding ways to let me know that you noticed.
Thank you for nominating me for all these things you nominate me for. I really, really, really can't express how much it secretly means to me.
I feel like I betrayed you, like I let you down, when I decided not to do this English thing. And I'm nothing special in the field I've chosen. My psychology professors, while they occasionally express approval of my fangirl dedication, certainly don't comment on my work the way you do. I'm struggling as hard as I can to understand, to acclimate, to excel in this field where it feels like I'm not particularly good at anything. I mean, sometimes I'm average, I'm acceptable, but that's not good enough - I'm not nor will I ever be satisfied with "acceptable."
But when I'm up to my neck in lab reports and technical lingo and concepts that I'm desperately trying to get a better handle on, when I feel like I'm nothing more than and never will be anything but acceptable, when I'm so down on this apa bullshit and wondering what the fuck was wrong with me thinking I could write a decent essay, you remind me that maybe I'm not so hopeless after all.
You make me proud of what I write - and isn't that, after all, who I am? So when you let me know that you approve, you're not just validating my work - you're validating me. Really, thank you. I just - ... thank you. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Morgan
Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I wish I knew how to tell you how much you have inspired me, how much I remain inspired. I wish you knew how much you stabilize my precarious self concept and ease my continual insecurities. Thank you for appreciating the effort I put into my papers. Thank you for noticing, and thank you for finding ways to let me know that you noticed.
Thank you for nominating me for all these things you nominate me for. I really, really, really can't express how much it secretly means to me.
I feel like I betrayed you, like I let you down, when I decided not to do this English thing. And I'm nothing special in the field I've chosen. My psychology professors, while they occasionally express approval of my fangirl dedication, certainly don't comment on my work the way you do. I'm struggling as hard as I can to understand, to acclimate, to excel in this field where it feels like I'm not particularly good at anything. I mean, sometimes I'm average, I'm acceptable, but that's not good enough - I'm not nor will I ever be satisfied with "acceptable."
But when I'm up to my neck in lab reports and technical lingo and concepts that I'm desperately trying to get a better handle on, when I feel like I'm nothing more than and never will be anything but acceptable, when I'm so down on this apa bullshit and wondering what the fuck was wrong with me thinking I could write a decent essay, you remind me that maybe I'm not so hopeless after all.
You make me proud of what I write - and isn't that, after all, who I am? So when you let me know that you approve, you're not just validating my work - you're validating me. Really, thank you. I just - ... thank you. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Morgan