progress! Doxa to Theo!!! +
canvas #3 just needs the final 2 edges coated with coat #3.
I'm feeling better.
going to drag painting #1 outside... tonight work will be done on it.
and hopefully, painting #3 will be started
and canvas #2 is going to be pending until I can bring myself to restretch an edge. that "horizon line" has to go...
also tonight:
stretch and gesso at least one more canvas. hopefully 2.
I'm also going through a lot of music, which is therapeutic, simultaneous with how great it is to gesso. applying pure white ...
I'm sooo very particular about my canvases - it takes forever to just get to that pristine wonderful surface. I don't sand them or anything, but do get them as smooth as I can with minimal large brush marks and globs, try to get them even, edges also, and the back where the staples are. ... it takes hours. and also serves to clear my head, also is an emotional release, helps as catharsis to purge things that are often shoved below the surface, even to me. they gradually surface. small or large air bubbles within the stream.
at least by the time all 10 of these 47" x 47" canvases are built, I will be better at this and will have refined my process further.
the goal for the show at Smoke:
5 - 10 47" x 47" paintings, oil on canvas
10 - 20 small size oil on panel paintings. the panels will either be just one piece or built as "box" type panels so that they have some additional dimension from the wall. this will take more work but will be worth it. and... if I create at least 20 of them... even if I do the minimum 10 which I want to send up for this show, I'll have the other 10 for upcoming shows.
also, as soon as this work is finished for this show, I need to keep painting, creating works for the upcoming shows with Anna Todaro, and continuing to build my portfolio.
...
I'm very excited about Carolina's encaustic show with new works!!! love you, [black kitty]! keep up the great work. I can't wait to see it, and I can't wait for our show together this next month also. details on that to follow.
ob-la-di, ob-la-da... :)
...
I love artmaking. as gutwrenching as it can be sometimes (like last night, much of this week), it is one of the most invigorating, exciting, cathartic, rewarding and fulfilling things in this life for me. I am so very very happy to be able to be living the artist's life. as difficult as it can be, I wouldn't have things any other way. I thrive on challenges, push myself to my limits (and perhaps often beyond - hence my times of collapse), but also need external pushes as well, to truly excel, like deadlines, critique, and people close to me that help me see myself, my work, and my obstacles and stumbling with a more objective eye. It's difficult to accept criticism at times, and not let it destroy my moods and actually impede feelings of well-being, motivation and progress... but if I just suck up my pride and let myself listen and actually reflect on the things mentioned to me, then it is humbling but helpful, and constructive. often it's just my pride that actually hurts. but I am nowhere near perfect, and am indeed striving for continual personal growth, both as an artist and as a human being. it's difficult to deal with my own shortcomings and also realize that others around me are affected by them as well - my friends, my family. I have much pressure on myself, applied both internally from myself, and externally from people all around me, but it's a good thing. without that pressure is a threat of complacency and stunted growth... I don't like being appeased, and I certainly don't like stagnant waters, the banal, the mundane, the "good enough", lack of progress, lack of movement. I love sponaneity and change. often change is difficult to embrace, flow with, etc... it demands change in return; transition times demand much work and energy... but the path opening ahead is so very worth it.
my mother says, "when one door closes, another opens"
there are doors opening all around!
so many doors it's difficult to see clearly at times... each has a different stream of colors emanating / flowing from it... ribbons of color in the wind coming from the doorway... the antithesis of "no exit"... thank God. life is truly beautiful. we have so many blessings. every breath, every color, every song... every friendship, and every person in our lives.
I really have absolutely nothing to complain about, ever. I do vent my frustrations often with certain situations in my life, but honestly, I am happy.. just struggling to navigate the waters, hoping that I have the experience and training necessary to keep afloat in the rapids... but even if I fall into the waters, I have not drowned yet. miracles happen, others help me... and I'm never alone, even as alienated and alone as I may feel at times. none of us are alone. ever. thank God. He is truly so good to us.
Doxa to Theo!!!
I'm feeling better.
going to drag painting #1 outside... tonight work will be done on it.
and hopefully, painting #3 will be started
and canvas #2 is going to be pending until I can bring myself to restretch an edge. that "horizon line" has to go...
also tonight:
stretch and gesso at least one more canvas. hopefully 2.
I'm also going through a lot of music, which is therapeutic, simultaneous with how great it is to gesso. applying pure white ...
I'm sooo very particular about my canvases - it takes forever to just get to that pristine wonderful surface. I don't sand them or anything, but do get them as smooth as I can with minimal large brush marks and globs, try to get them even, edges also, and the back where the staples are. ... it takes hours. and also serves to clear my head, also is an emotional release, helps as catharsis to purge things that are often shoved below the surface, even to me. they gradually surface. small or large air bubbles within the stream.
at least by the time all 10 of these 47" x 47" canvases are built, I will be better at this and will have refined my process further.
the goal for the show at Smoke:
5 - 10 47" x 47" paintings, oil on canvas
10 - 20 small size oil on panel paintings. the panels will either be just one piece or built as "box" type panels so that they have some additional dimension from the wall. this will take more work but will be worth it. and... if I create at least 20 of them... even if I do the minimum 10 which I want to send up for this show, I'll have the other 10 for upcoming shows.
also, as soon as this work is finished for this show, I need to keep painting, creating works for the upcoming shows with Anna Todaro, and continuing to build my portfolio.
...
I'm very excited about Carolina's encaustic show with new works!!! love you, [black kitty]! keep up the great work. I can't wait to see it, and I can't wait for our show together this next month also. details on that to follow.
ob-la-di, ob-la-da... :)
...
I love artmaking. as gutwrenching as it can be sometimes (like last night, much of this week), it is one of the most invigorating, exciting, cathartic, rewarding and fulfilling things in this life for me. I am so very very happy to be able to be living the artist's life. as difficult as it can be, I wouldn't have things any other way. I thrive on challenges, push myself to my limits (and perhaps often beyond - hence my times of collapse), but also need external pushes as well, to truly excel, like deadlines, critique, and people close to me that help me see myself, my work, and my obstacles and stumbling with a more objective eye. It's difficult to accept criticism at times, and not let it destroy my moods and actually impede feelings of well-being, motivation and progress... but if I just suck up my pride and let myself listen and actually reflect on the things mentioned to me, then it is humbling but helpful, and constructive. often it's just my pride that actually hurts. but I am nowhere near perfect, and am indeed striving for continual personal growth, both as an artist and as a human being. it's difficult to deal with my own shortcomings and also realize that others around me are affected by them as well - my friends, my family. I have much pressure on myself, applied both internally from myself, and externally from people all around me, but it's a good thing. without that pressure is a threat of complacency and stunted growth... I don't like being appeased, and I certainly don't like stagnant waters, the banal, the mundane, the "good enough", lack of progress, lack of movement. I love sponaneity and change. often change is difficult to embrace, flow with, etc... it demands change in return; transition times demand much work and energy... but the path opening ahead is so very worth it.
my mother says, "when one door closes, another opens"
there are doors opening all around!
so many doors it's difficult to see clearly at times... each has a different stream of colors emanating / flowing from it... ribbons of color in the wind coming from the doorway... the antithesis of "no exit"... thank God. life is truly beautiful. we have so many blessings. every breath, every color, every song... every friendship, and every person in our lives.
I really have absolutely nothing to complain about, ever. I do vent my frustrations often with certain situations in my life, but honestly, I am happy.. just struggling to navigate the waters, hoping that I have the experience and training necessary to keep afloat in the rapids... but even if I fall into the waters, I have not drowned yet. miracles happen, others help me... and I'm never alone, even as alienated and alone as I may feel at times. none of us are alone. ever. thank God. He is truly so good to us.
Doxa to Theo!!!