^o^ Fuck you! [a rant by elena]
I have evey right int he world to be pissed the fuck off... And NO I AM NOT BLOWING SHIT OUT OF PERPORTION!!!
If you think about it what you guys did was jsut selfish bull shit and your excuse was just that a bull shit excuse...
NO BITCH I WASN'T TELLING YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE!!! I was telling you who to leave out of your bull shit...
Curious? So my boyfriend is a fucking retard... I don't agree with people who are underaged going off and getting bold faced drunk... I don't think that anyone should go off and get so drunk they're stupid and barfing... I am totally fine with drinking a little with dinner or on the holidays (at nearly any age) and with drinking at 20 (you're nearly 21). He was taking some of his friends to theyir senior proma and they propositioned him... how about he buy them some beer? So he did...
WHY I'm Pissed
1) HE'S A FUCKING MORON AND A TOTAL RETARD... I hate his guts for it and will never accept his appology.
2) He didnt' even think that there was a problem - legal or otherwise- with what he did untill i said somthing
"You bought them the beer and made them drive home? What if someone gets hurt, you'll be responsible dumbass"
3) they propositioned him... it's their fault as well... they blame him for buying it... He's one of those people where you could ask him damn near anything and he'll do it for you...
4) The bitch had the balls to say ~ You're blowing things WAY out of preportions~ well i understand the fact that hes your boyfirend... blah blah bullshit...~AND THE BEST ONE~ Well nothing happened
It has nothing to do with the fact that he's my boyfriend BITCH. He's my friend and i refuse to see one of my friends put in jail for providing alchohol to an under aged someone who was off in theor little click in the city (the best place to get caught) and who had to drive their drunk asses home in the van her took them there in... He gave them the booze and the keys... He's an idiot... you brought it on (he wouldn't have just 'hey kids... who wants beer?!') and you wouldn't even take the brunt of the blam if you killed someone?!
I don't give a shit fuck of a damn if "nothing happened" something COULD HAVE! I Hate that teenager logic of "I drove home drunk, but nothing happened, so it's okay..." Not a damn thing is learned... and they don't give a fuck of what could have happened... Maybe you have to be a parent to give a shit about the "what if's"
5)She gave the "I drank because it was muy prom" excuse... WELL BITCH... go to a fucking party like everyone else and drink there... you don't HAVE to drink because it's your prom... I know TONS of people who didn't... I don't think any most of my friends did "because It was prom"
All in all i'm pissed the fuck off. I'm always going to be pissed at her and her stupid boyfriend and their little friends...
Even though i try to move past it and try to forgive him I keep finding myself rethinking out relationship... I don't think i can stand someone who i know did something that is in TOTAL support of probably the one thing that i'm way against... even onthe retard scale: it's one thing to be at a party where there are underaged people drinking... and much another to buy them the stuff and make them drive home so that he could hang out with me. I sorta wish that they'd gotten in an accident... and they were slightly injured... noone died... they'd learn somenthing then... he'd actually feel bad and not feel sorta bad. I love him and i hate his guts at the same time when he's around... They make me feel like I'M The one who did something wrong by having a problem with it... I feel like he hates me...
I really think that I need to 'breakup' with him... but if i do... he'll just think it's another one of my depressions... And I';ll have no ride home... I'll have to go back to going to the clinic that my mom cleans and stay there untill 1am when she get's off... I'll be back to having noone to hang out with... noone to talk to... noone to hug me... Or to even be nice to me... I'm staying with him so i don't feel alone... But this incident aside He makes me feel dumb quite often... little comments he makes... I still don't know if he's jokeing around about serious topics... Like when he got mad/ made fun of me for not knowing when his birthday was and then the other day he asked if my birthday was the 30th... He knows it's a friday (his day off)... that's not a friday it's a monday... that's more than a week after my birthday... He can forget it but i cant forget his without being mocked? Or maybe the mocking and the forgetting were both a joke... I'm not sure... But the mocking only helps me hate myself a little more... I jsut don't say anything... He thinks i hate myslef all the time anywho... I'll be Totally happy somedays... and he'll make a small maybe jokeing but seemingly snide comment... and it'll ruin the entire time he's at my house hanging out with me... He dosen't appologise anymore... In mydepressed states i don't believe him... but it makes me feel a little better to know that he feels bad for making me feel bad... But not doing it... just makes things worse...
I may not be a Super Awesome Christian... but i still believe in God And Jesus... I believe that they took away my sins... and that if you pray you'll be heard... He's not a christian... As much as I like him that one thing makes me weary... He'll be a bad influence upon me and my future children... He'll persauade them to hate God. He often says that the kids (we joke about our future children) will like him better... because i plan on being slightly strict with things... I don't want my kids to be fattys who eat take-out every day... I don't want my kids to be spoiled or to be those kids inthe store who grab all of the candy off the shelf and FREAK OUT when they don't get it and then get it... He'll get them a car at 15 (I don't think kids need a car at that age... I didn't get one at that age... I still don't have one at nearly 20 years of age... they can do without). I don't want to have him telling me that the kids i don't plan on having for several years will hate my guts and not respect me in the least... They wont love me... I refuse to have children that will never love me.
I guess the question... after all of that rantage... what do i want to do more?Drop him and hate myself and be lonely.. or do I want to grow some balls and kill myself? I mean... I never thought i'd make it to 18, I've had a good run and no real future for myself. Catherine will get her own room and half of myslef... Ian will get prolly my manga... Mum will get the rest of my paycheck... and she has access to the money in my bank account... It'll be expensive to bury me... But it'll be one less mouth to feed, one less body to clothe.... No issue's of sending me to college after that...
If you think about it what you guys did was jsut selfish bull shit and your excuse was just that a bull shit excuse...
NO BITCH I WASN'T TELLING YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE!!! I was telling you who to leave out of your bull shit...
Curious? So my boyfriend is a fucking retard... I don't agree with people who are underaged going off and getting bold faced drunk... I don't think that anyone should go off and get so drunk they're stupid and barfing... I am totally fine with drinking a little with dinner or on the holidays (at nearly any age) and with drinking at 20 (you're nearly 21). He was taking some of his friends to theyir senior proma and they propositioned him... how about he buy them some beer? So he did...
WHY I'm Pissed
1) HE'S A FUCKING MORON AND A TOTAL RETARD... I hate his guts for it and will never accept his appology.
2) He didnt' even think that there was a problem - legal or otherwise- with what he did untill i said somthing
"You bought them the beer and made them drive home? What if someone gets hurt, you'll be responsible dumbass"
3) they propositioned him... it's their fault as well... they blame him for buying it... He's one of those people where you could ask him damn near anything and he'll do it for you...
4) The bitch had the balls to say ~ You're blowing things WAY out of preportions~ well i understand the fact that hes your boyfirend... blah blah bullshit...~AND THE BEST ONE~ Well nothing happened
It has nothing to do with the fact that he's my boyfriend BITCH. He's my friend and i refuse to see one of my friends put in jail for providing alchohol to an under aged someone who was off in theor little click in the city (the best place to get caught) and who had to drive their drunk asses home in the van her took them there in... He gave them the booze and the keys... He's an idiot... you brought it on (he wouldn't have just 'hey kids... who wants beer?!') and you wouldn't even take the brunt of the blam if you killed someone?!
I don't give a shit fuck of a damn if "nothing happened" something COULD HAVE! I Hate that teenager logic of "I drove home drunk, but nothing happened, so it's okay..." Not a damn thing is learned... and they don't give a fuck of what could have happened... Maybe you have to be a parent to give a shit about the "what if's"
5)She gave the "I drank because it was muy prom" excuse... WELL BITCH... go to a fucking party like everyone else and drink there... you don't HAVE to drink because it's your prom... I know TONS of people who didn't... I don't think any most of my friends did "because It was prom"
All in all i'm pissed the fuck off. I'm always going to be pissed at her and her stupid boyfriend and their little friends...
Even though i try to move past it and try to forgive him I keep finding myself rethinking out relationship... I don't think i can stand someone who i know did something that is in TOTAL support of probably the one thing that i'm way against... even onthe retard scale: it's one thing to be at a party where there are underaged people drinking... and much another to buy them the stuff and make them drive home so that he could hang out with me. I sorta wish that they'd gotten in an accident... and they were slightly injured... noone died... they'd learn somenthing then... he'd actually feel bad and not feel sorta bad. I love him and i hate his guts at the same time when he's around... They make me feel like I'M The one who did something wrong by having a problem with it... I feel like he hates me...
I really think that I need to 'breakup' with him... but if i do... he'll just think it's another one of my depressions... And I';ll have no ride home... I'll have to go back to going to the clinic that my mom cleans and stay there untill 1am when she get's off... I'll be back to having noone to hang out with... noone to talk to... noone to hug me... Or to even be nice to me... I'm staying with him so i don't feel alone... But this incident aside He makes me feel dumb quite often... little comments he makes... I still don't know if he's jokeing around about serious topics... Like when he got mad/ made fun of me for not knowing when his birthday was and then the other day he asked if my birthday was the 30th... He knows it's a friday (his day off)... that's not a friday it's a monday... that's more than a week after my birthday... He can forget it but i cant forget his without being mocked? Or maybe the mocking and the forgetting were both a joke... I'm not sure... But the mocking only helps me hate myself a little more... I jsut don't say anything... He thinks i hate myslef all the time anywho... I'll be Totally happy somedays... and he'll make a small maybe jokeing but seemingly snide comment... and it'll ruin the entire time he's at my house hanging out with me... He dosen't appologise anymore... In mydepressed states i don't believe him... but it makes me feel a little better to know that he feels bad for making me feel bad... But not doing it... just makes things worse...
I may not be a Super Awesome Christian... but i still believe in God And Jesus... I believe that they took away my sins... and that if you pray you'll be heard... He's not a christian... As much as I like him that one thing makes me weary... He'll be a bad influence upon me and my future children... He'll persauade them to hate God. He often says that the kids (we joke about our future children) will like him better... because i plan on being slightly strict with things... I don't want my kids to be fattys who eat take-out every day... I don't want my kids to be spoiled or to be those kids inthe store who grab all of the candy off the shelf and FREAK OUT when they don't get it and then get it... He'll get them a car at 15 (I don't think kids need a car at that age... I didn't get one at that age... I still don't have one at nearly 20 years of age... they can do without). I don't want to have him telling me that the kids i don't plan on having for several years will hate my guts and not respect me in the least... They wont love me... I refuse to have children that will never love me.
I guess the question... after all of that rantage... what do i want to do more?Drop him and hate myself and be lonely.. or do I want to grow some balls and kill myself? I mean... I never thought i'd make it to 18, I've had a good run and no real future for myself. Catherine will get her own room and half of myslef... Ian will get prolly my manga... Mum will get the rest of my paycheck... and she has access to the money in my bank account... It'll be expensive to bury me... But it'll be one less mouth to feed, one less body to clothe.... No issue's of sending me to college after that...