(no subject)
you know what i've always wanted, instead of a new fucking car, or anything expensive.
just for my dad to tell me he's proud of me. everything i fucking do it doesn't seem good enough, and i feel ALL THE TIME that i let him down. it's the worst feeling to have. i try to make him feel that i look up to him, cause i don't have a mom to support me. all i want is for my dad to say that he's proud of me. i don't even give a shit if i get a new fucking car. that's 10x more important to me than that.
i kill my boyfriend when i'm sitting their fighting with him, then i finally start crying and letting it out. i can tell that he just wants to be there and hold me, and let everything go away. it really kills him. you can tell when he goes "baby, aww please don't i just want to hold you tight when you cry." it's adorable. i love him so much for it. he told me today that i'm the smartest person he knows, and that i'll be going places and he'll still be the same douschebag going no where. and you know what, even if he doesn't i dont care because im not leaving him anytime soon. so whatever.
i started crying i started saying how i make myself stop missing my aunt, and how i tell myself that i let her down. because thats what i feel like. that i let everyone down. i dont know why but i never feel good enough to amount to anything. and you know what.
i know that my aunt is damn proud of me, and i can miss her all i want without feeling that im obsessed with wishing she was here.
you cant just forget someone who's done so much for you, because then you forget what has made you.. you. and sooner or later that can be your ultimate downfall.
life's too short to be anything but happy
just for my dad to tell me he's proud of me. everything i fucking do it doesn't seem good enough, and i feel ALL THE TIME that i let him down. it's the worst feeling to have. i try to make him feel that i look up to him, cause i don't have a mom to support me. all i want is for my dad to say that he's proud of me. i don't even give a shit if i get a new fucking car. that's 10x more important to me than that.
i kill my boyfriend when i'm sitting their fighting with him, then i finally start crying and letting it out. i can tell that he just wants to be there and hold me, and let everything go away. it really kills him. you can tell when he goes "baby, aww please don't i just want to hold you tight when you cry." it's adorable. i love him so much for it. he told me today that i'm the smartest person he knows, and that i'll be going places and he'll still be the same douschebag going no where. and you know what, even if he doesn't i dont care because im not leaving him anytime soon. so whatever.
i started crying i started saying how i make myself stop missing my aunt, and how i tell myself that i let her down. because thats what i feel like. that i let everyone down. i dont know why but i never feel good enough to amount to anything. and you know what.
i know that my aunt is damn proud of me, and i can miss her all i want without feeling that im obsessed with wishing she was here.
you cant just forget someone who's done so much for you, because then you forget what has made you.. you. and sooner or later that can be your ultimate downfall.
life's too short to be anything but happy