Thoughts
I got out of rehab thursday. Nine fucking months. It was hell, but I learned quite alot. I really doubt I will write in this journal much, infact I'm regretting ever making this already. I was suppose to go to an AA meeting earlier today but I was hanging out with Dominique. Shit was so messed up back then, I couldn't have a genuine relationship with anyone. I tried but there was no way possible.If there was no harmful consequences to using drugs, everyone would be doing them.
Shit, some people are able use and still be a normal functioning member of society, but I can't. I don't even want to try to see if I can handle, I'm too afraid that I'll end up being right back to where I left off. A shitty son, brother, friend, and significant other.
The fact that I am home hasn't really hit me yet. I can't find anything to do with all this idol time yet. There is this stipulation (optional) in the "Big Book" about getting into a relationship for the first year of sobriety but I'm giving it the finger.
The only other person that I've seen from the old gang is Lucas. I'm giddy about his sobriety because it means we can still be friends. I guess there can be both positive and negative aspects to the situation.
We went through all that shit together so it really does help for us to go through sobriety together, but we did stupid shit when we were bored and that could be a trigger when we hang out. The only other person from the three amigos is Dac and I'm hearing lately that he's basicaly perma-fried from all the candy he's been dropping. I'm pretty indifferent about the situation though, it's his life and I can't save him.
I'm thinking of re-doing my room later today. That will keep me busy. I have to make new friends. I also should make a To-Do list as well so I may write all that shit down. Priorities!
-Erik
Shit, some people are able use and still be a normal functioning member of society, but I can't. I don't even want to try to see if I can handle, I'm too afraid that I'll end up being right back to where I left off. A shitty son, brother, friend, and significant other.
The fact that I am home hasn't really hit me yet. I can't find anything to do with all this idol time yet. There is this stipulation (optional) in the "Big Book" about getting into a relationship for the first year of sobriety but I'm giving it the finger.
The only other person that I've seen from the old gang is Lucas. I'm giddy about his sobriety because it means we can still be friends. I guess there can be both positive and negative aspects to the situation.
We went through all that shit together so it really does help for us to go through sobriety together, but we did stupid shit when we were bored and that could be a trigger when we hang out. The only other person from the three amigos is Dac and I'm hearing lately that he's basicaly perma-fried from all the candy he's been dropping. I'm pretty indifferent about the situation though, it's his life and I can't save him.
I'm thinking of re-doing my room later today. That will keep me busy. I have to make new friends. I also should make a To-Do list as well so I may write all that shit down. Priorities!
-Erik