Vidding.
I just finished up what is probably the longest vidding hiatus ever. Since finishing that, I've wanted to talk about it because it feels really monumental to me, but now that I'm here I'm not quite sure what to say.
I honestly don't know what kept me from vidding for so long. Only that I hadn't made a full-length vid in years. Years. I did a couple of really tiny mini-vidlets as an experiment last winter with
mistojen, which was something -- but for me, even though I was happy with my work, it didn't really feel like it counted. In the end, the two of us didn't finishing our challenge. I am pretty sure the idea was to do at least two more. I don't remember the deal. Only that she made three and I only made two.
*shame*
I knew I was ready to be back to vidding because I did sign up for festivids this year and I had no doubt in my mind that I was going to be able to complete the project. I had a confidence that I would have never had this time last year and I have no idea where it came from. I pretty much only picked movies from the list of fandoms (for, the less amount of source footage the better) and just knew it would be something I could handle. It was going to be my "welcome back" tour. I had no expectations that I would make another video in the interim, but surprising myself and everyone else, I did.
It was definitely one of those "inspired" moments. Where you just kind of know. I took at least a day or two to think about it before daring to open up Vegas. But I eventually did and in the end came away accomplishing something that I haven't been able to accomplish in years. It feels really good, but I have no delusions about whether or not this will continue. The only thing I know for sure is that I will be finishing my festivids contribution. That's never been a question. But after that? Who knows.
Has anyone else had a hiatus from vidding that's lasted a particularly long time? Or maybe not even vidding. Maybe writing or graphic-making? What kept you away? What brought you back? Was it inspiration or just the right fandom at the right time?
I honestly can't put my finger on the answers to any of that. I think, in the end though, despite whatever kept me from vidding at the start, it was ultimately fear that kept me from coming back to it for so long. Or as J. Smooth once put it, the "little hater." I think I had finally gotten so far away from it that maybe the fear had finally gone.
I'm crossing my finger that it lasts.
Anyway, in case you're interested and if you missed it, here's
MY FIRST VID IN THREE YEARS. It's to the E4 UK show Misfits, which is one of my current obsessions.