Okay so ....
Every once a month I go through this phase, where I get really health conscious. I make it a point to brush my teeth every day, put on lotion, shave my legs, paint my toes (I'm pretty sure most girls don't have to remind themselves to do these things). I go to the gym like every week and take vitamins and all that shit.
I've noticed that this is the only time when I feel that it is okay to talk to my mother. This way when she asks me the barrage of usual health questions I can give her honest answers without all the guilt. Yet, no matter how much I am suddenly taking care of myself, she knocks the whole thing down with some other diagnosis of what is wrong with me.
This week I have fibromyalgia. Oh yeah...cuz it's genetic see and since she has it at 62 I MUST have it at 24. Exact phone conversation from yesterday,
"Are you tired a lot"
"Yeah but I wake up at 4am"
"Are you depressed"
"No"
"You know fibromyalgia brings on depression."
(Silence)
"really sweetie if are you depressed, you can tell me."
"I'm fine mother."
"Alright....you know you can always tell me..."
"I've got to go."
(click)
*Endlessss scrrreeeeeeaaaaaaammmmmiiiiiiiinnnnnggg*
Why is it that when someone asks you to repeatedly validate how you are feeling, you over analyze everything and immediately become depressed?
So before all that she plugged this fibromyalgia website. It's like ever since my mom figured out how to use a computer she uses the internet to validate every outrageous concern she ever had about me. I went there checked it out and I have come to the conclusion it is a completely made up disease.
We have simply named the aging process. Face it you Fibro-fucks...you are all getting older. Tired-ness, sore joints, stiffness... all that shit comes with this mortality gig. Shit I would be depressed too. And everyone who says they have it when they are young...is simply a hypochondriac.
So I'm thinking of getting a new phase. Maybe this week I will by six packs every night...eat potato chips and belch until I feel it in my toes. Sure I will still shave my legs and put lotion on. A girl has still got to look good.
Cricketfact: It took me a solid day to recover from Mexican brunch.
I've noticed that this is the only time when I feel that it is okay to talk to my mother. This way when she asks me the barrage of usual health questions I can give her honest answers without all the guilt. Yet, no matter how much I am suddenly taking care of myself, she knocks the whole thing down with some other diagnosis of what is wrong with me.
This week I have fibromyalgia. Oh yeah...cuz it's genetic see and since she has it at 62 I MUST have it at 24. Exact phone conversation from yesterday,
"Are you tired a lot"
"Yeah but I wake up at 4am"
"Are you depressed"
"No"
"You know fibromyalgia brings on depression."
(Silence)
"really sweetie if are you depressed, you can tell me."
"I'm fine mother."
"Alright....you know you can always tell me..."
"I've got to go."
(click)
*Endlessss scrrreeeeeeaaaaaaammmmmiiiiiiiinnnnnggg*
Why is it that when someone asks you to repeatedly validate how you are feeling, you over analyze everything and immediately become depressed?
So before all that she plugged this fibromyalgia website. It's like ever since my mom figured out how to use a computer she uses the internet to validate every outrageous concern she ever had about me. I went there checked it out and I have come to the conclusion it is a completely made up disease.
We have simply named the aging process. Face it you Fibro-fucks...you are all getting older. Tired-ness, sore joints, stiffness... all that shit comes with this mortality gig. Shit I would be depressed too. And everyone who says they have it when they are young...is simply a hypochondriac.
So I'm thinking of getting a new phase. Maybe this week I will by six packs every night...eat potato chips and belch until I feel it in my toes. Sure I will still shave my legs and put lotion on. A girl has still got to look good.
Cricketfact: It took me a solid day to recover from Mexican brunch.