(no subject)
So I'm back from my excursion and it is strange to return to this city and call it my home.
Mainly because it feels so far from that. It is odd how life changes so dramatically so quickly. I guess I'm still taking it all in. I've decided to sit still for a while and let it absorb before I react. Maybe we just need to let life happen sometimes.
I want this city to inspire me. I want to make it my home. But It is so hard for me to do this without comparing everything I encounter to what I'm used to. I miss the hell out of California right now and the urge to get back on a plane is all too tempting.
So far I have New York summed up like this; It can be the best place on earth and then the worst place with in seconds and not necessarily in that order. In California everything just sort of was...I mean never really great but never really bad. Just chill. I'm still trying to figure out what I prefer.
What I really need to do is erect myself into a position that makes me feel like I belong here. Latley that doesn't feel like a possibility without jumping into someone elses skin.
I do know this. I haven't felt like myself and I blame New York.
Mainly because it feels so far from that. It is odd how life changes so dramatically so quickly. I guess I'm still taking it all in. I've decided to sit still for a while and let it absorb before I react. Maybe we just need to let life happen sometimes.
I want this city to inspire me. I want to make it my home. But It is so hard for me to do this without comparing everything I encounter to what I'm used to. I miss the hell out of California right now and the urge to get back on a plane is all too tempting.
So far I have New York summed up like this; It can be the best place on earth and then the worst place with in seconds and not necessarily in that order. In California everything just sort of was...I mean never really great but never really bad. Just chill. I'm still trying to figure out what I prefer.
What I really need to do is erect myself into a position that makes me feel like I belong here. Latley that doesn't feel like a possibility without jumping into someone elses skin.
I do know this. I haven't felt like myself and I blame New York.