So - that happened....
I have four kids, aged 17 down to 8.
Last year my oldest, who I had always thought was my son, told me and my husband that she was "she". It was a bit of a surprise - at all of 11, he had said he was bi, then a year or so later that he was gay. But this was a bit different. I spent some time wondering if I'd failed as a parent - NOT because my child was trans but because I'd apparently missed this HUGE part of who my child was. I still do wonder if we failed somehow because surely we should have realised. But there's nothing I can do about the past and at least we can be supportive now. Because the statistics for self-harm and suicide for these kids are HORRENDOUS - seriously. Amongst trans kids who don't feel safe at home or accepted for who they are by their parents, the rate is around SEVENTY PERCENT for self-harm. Seriously, we are talking about kids in their grave because their parents refused to use the right names and pronouns and not to just ACCEPT their kid.
Today, my daughter came out on FB. Which means letting a LOT of people know, and the probability that people in our tiny Irish village will know. The next few weeks might be hell - or they might show us the better side of our fellow humans.
I have two daughters, two sons, and I love them all.