Depressing thoughts....
Summer so far hasn't been so good. I missed my family during the school year, especially my brother. But now they can be so mean to me and chris continues to be annoying to me....although he does say its his life purpose to be so.
I am still trying to find a job.....yeah I know, i've been home for over a month now...i should have gotten one by now...
I feel as though I have lost two friends this past week...and it is killing me inside...sometimes i wonder why i am such a child sometimes...
My birthday is coming up soon....yeah, i know people should be excited for their birthday....but i'm not for mine. I don't see what the big deal is...just another year older. No reason to celebrate. Besides, it's not like i will get/deserve anything for my birthday...especially the way i have treated my family and friends.
Sometimes when i get up in the morning...i wonder if it's even worth it to roll out of bed
I have lost sight of my dreams this past week...i don't know how to get them back
I have to take some summer classes so that i can graduate on time...three to be exact...but it will be hard to enroll...i can't afford em and neither can my parents....
I feel so left out....my parents go out of their way to help my older brother replace his brake pads in his car....he has two jobs...he should have the money for something like that..but he doesn't know how to keep his wallet closed....my parents are also helping chris get prepared for spending his next semester in France...i feel so jealous and sad....it is a good opportunity for him...but i am afraid that once again i will be left alone next year...who will i talk to on-line while at school??
So next year I am living with a teammate. He is a cool friend, but i am afraid that i will be pressured into going to a lot more parties that honestly...i don't find amusing and just really isn't my kind of thing....i know i'm a college student...i'm supposed to be getting drunk every weekend...but that is just not me...i don't know why people can't understand me and enjoy as who i am
these r supposed to be the best years of my life...so far...they haven't been
perhaps i am just being too selfish with thoughts and feelings about many things
I am still trying to find a job.....yeah I know, i've been home for over a month now...i should have gotten one by now...
I feel as though I have lost two friends this past week...and it is killing me inside...sometimes i wonder why i am such a child sometimes...
My birthday is coming up soon....yeah, i know people should be excited for their birthday....but i'm not for mine. I don't see what the big deal is...just another year older. No reason to celebrate. Besides, it's not like i will get/deserve anything for my birthday...especially the way i have treated my family and friends.
Sometimes when i get up in the morning...i wonder if it's even worth it to roll out of bed
I have lost sight of my dreams this past week...i don't know how to get them back
I have to take some summer classes so that i can graduate on time...three to be exact...but it will be hard to enroll...i can't afford em and neither can my parents....
I feel so left out....my parents go out of their way to help my older brother replace his brake pads in his car....he has two jobs...he should have the money for something like that..but he doesn't know how to keep his wallet closed....my parents are also helping chris get prepared for spending his next semester in France...i feel so jealous and sad....it is a good opportunity for him...but i am afraid that once again i will be left alone next year...who will i talk to on-line while at school??
So next year I am living with a teammate. He is a cool friend, but i am afraid that i will be pressured into going to a lot more parties that honestly...i don't find amusing and just really isn't my kind of thing....i know i'm a college student...i'm supposed to be getting drunk every weekend...but that is just not me...i don't know why people can't understand me and enjoy as who i am
these r supposed to be the best years of my life...so far...they haven't been
perhaps i am just being too selfish with thoughts and feelings about many things