today was supposed to be MY day
Everyone today im gonna bitch cuz it was supposed to be my day and now its ruined. I mean okay it was really supposed to be a great day today because he was supposed to ask me something but he never did...he lied right to my face throught the computer. Okay so he made me really angry, but then again im happy that he didnt ask me..Jaimie had been putting these ideas in my head. On Saturday night she said that if i went out with him everything would change. She said that if i go out with him then i wont be able to do all the things that we do to guys and that it will all be different and i really dont want anything to be different. Also i was thinking last night that i really like him i mean really really like him a lot and i really would like to go out with him, but what if we went out. Im not the "Girl who dates" andd everything is going to be so odd between us...I mean what happen when we break up he is such a good friend of mine and i really dont know what i would do if i lost him as a friend. He is making me mad becasue hhe told jason and he wont even tell me i mean yeah him and jason are friends but he should tell me before he talks about me to jason. God i am really having second thoughts about this whole thing hapening and i dont want to have second thoughts because i really really do like him im just really dont know what to do. I hate change and this is going to change everything i just know it...no matter what i do with the situation i know that it is going to change...I hate change...I dont know what to do i dont want to loose a friend but i want to be more than that..God why is this such a big thing. I seriously blame Jaimie because she was the one who brought it up and then i started to think about it..before i was like yes its finally gonna happen cuz ive liked him for so long and im finally geting what i want. I reallly still want this i mean i really do...I have to do it becasue if i dont and if i worry about change like i always do then ill have regrets and i dont want any regrets acpecially about this person because i like him to much to let him get away!