I Miss Amber
Hey guys, for those of you not involved in this conversation, you'll get a glipse of just how much Amber means to me. I know you all know that I've fallen head over heels for her, but I don't know if you really grasp how many times my heels have gone over my head.
kiwibird26 is away at 10:37:16 PM.
crewchild500: I miss Amber a lot
Auto response from kiwibird26: Nas nye dogonyat!
kiwibird26 returned at 10:37:21 PM.
kiwibird26: Aw...
kiwibird26: I'm sorry
crewchild500: it's okay
kiwibird26: do you talk to her a lot
crewchild500: yes, at least once a day maybe
twice maybe three times, depending on the
length of each call
crewchild500: but did i interupt you doing
something?
crewchild500: cause it's okay if you go do that
crewchild500: i won't feel offended or anything
kiwibird26: Nah, I was just going over to my closet to
change
crewchild500: oh okau
kiwibird26: (but I just did that anyeays
crewchild500: oh
crewchild500: i should sleep, but amber is on my
mind, and she's not leaving my mind
kiwibird26: That's quite some love and dedication
kiwibird26: My only advice is to put it in God's hands and
ask Him to help you and Amber through this tough time
crewchild500: I am, all the time, when I wake up,
when I eat breakfast, when I'm at class, and
so on and so forth.
kiwibird26: Wow, good for you
kiwibird26: I'll pray for you too
crewchild500: but still, I really think I am going
to have a break down and just cry for like
three hours about how much i miss her. never
in my wildest dreams would i think of ending
my relationship with her, but i might go as far
as to spend all the money i have and buy a
plane ticket to go home and see her, but that is
an extreme that has the possibility, but
probably won't happen, cause i still do have a
head on my shoulders
kiwibird26: Yeah, don't get carried away. I've never loved
anyone the way you love Amber, so I know I don't totally
understand, but if you buy a plane ticket home, it'll probably
be even harder to leave again
crewchild500: yeah i know. I'm just saying, if it
came to that, I probly wouldn't think too much
about it. But it won't cause I usually over
think things
kiwibird26: Yeah, I think you're sensible enough not to
rush into things
crewchild500: I know I am, and I know that
within the next few weeks, I'm going to
explode and just have a melt down. I had a
tiny one when Amber was sick, and you know,
when people say it's a hard thing to do, long
distance relationships, it is hard. But when
you know that you are going to spend the rest
of your life with that person that is 1000
miles away, it's even harder. cause you just
want to be with that person forever NOW, not
later. but the right answer is the answer that
you don't want to realize, and that's
relationships need tests, and the harder the
test, the better the outcome. but it's so damn
hard, I'm sick of just seeing pictures of her.
I'm sick of hearing her voice and not seeing
her lips move. I'm just sick of being away
from her
kiwibird26: Yeah. Though sometimes the explosion and
melt down make you feel better afterwards. But that's very
true about the tests. Because life together (for anyone) is
going to be full of trials, and this is just preparation for
what's to come
crewchild500: exactly, but it hurts so freakin
much. if it weren't for Amber I would be
having a 100% blast at college...but i miss her
and sometimes i just mope from class to class,
then go to lunch put on a pocker face and have
a little laugh with friends and then i go work
out, come back and call amber. this is not to
say i regret dating Amber, I don't regret
anything about Amber and me, it's just things
are different for me, or so it seems, than the
other people, I know, that there are people
here going through the same things, but their
pocker faces are as good as mine
kiwibird26: Yeah, it's hard to know what's going on in
people's lives, because so many of us hide it. But you at
least acknowledge that the problem is you miss and love
Amber so much. A lot of people just mope around and
don't try to find the source.
crewchild500: I mean I didn't get much sleep
last night because 1.) there was a lighting
storm the plowed through, which made me just
want to hold Amber in my arms as we both
watched the lightning and heard the thunder,
and 2.) I just plain couldn't get her out of my
head. My tank was so low today because out
of about the 5 hours of "sleep" i got, about 2
of those were actual decent sleep
crewchild500: In which i dreamed about Amber
kiwibird26: Wow
kiwibird26: Calvin, you shouldn't have to go through this
for the entire semester, let alone your entire college
career!
kiwibird26: It's not healthy....but I don't know how you
can change it honestly
crewchild500: tougher the test better the
outcome
kiwibird26: I mean, you seem to have all the right ideas
and intentions, but your body just can't handle being away
from Amber
crewchild500: last night was just an off night
anyways, i let a friend type a paper on my
computer, not knowing that he would be on my
computer until midnight, THEN print his
paper, plus all of that other stuff
kiwibird26: wow
crewchild500: don't worry it's not every night
that i feel like that, last night was just bad...or
good, depending on your view of things
kiwibird26: Well, that's good I guess
crewchild500: no worries though, I'm not known
for giving up, and i hate giving up. I'll find a
way through it, plus Amber is trying to
transfer out here after two years at
Middlesex, so it's not so bad. Note: she's not
coming to NPU, she is looking at the Chicago
Institute of Art, along with Loyola.
crewchild500: along with others
kiwibird26: Ah, well that's nice
crewchild500: indeed
crewchild500: it's just gonna be tough at times,
much like life
kiwibird26: Yeah, very true
crewchild500: Well I feel a little better,
there's still that ache inside, but it needs time
before it can fully come out.
kiwibird26: Well I'm glad you feel a little better
crewchild500: So am I
kiwibird26: I hope you get a good night's sleep
crewchild500: I will, I'm bush wacked
kiwibird26: Speaking of which...I think I might go off to
bed now
crewchild500: yes, I think I will too.
crewchild500: Good night
kiwibird26: Good night!
kiwibird26 is away at 11:10:03 PM.
kiwibird26 is away at 10:37:16 PM.
crewchild500: I miss Amber a lot
Auto response from kiwibird26: Nas nye dogonyat!
kiwibird26 returned at 10:37:21 PM.
kiwibird26: Aw...
kiwibird26: I'm sorry
crewchild500: it's okay
kiwibird26: do you talk to her a lot
crewchild500: yes, at least once a day maybe
twice maybe three times, depending on the
length of each call
crewchild500: but did i interupt you doing
something?
crewchild500: cause it's okay if you go do that
crewchild500: i won't feel offended or anything
kiwibird26: Nah, I was just going over to my closet to
change
crewchild500: oh okau
kiwibird26: (but I just did that anyeays
crewchild500: oh
crewchild500: i should sleep, but amber is on my
mind, and she's not leaving my mind
kiwibird26: That's quite some love and dedication
kiwibird26: My only advice is to put it in God's hands and
ask Him to help you and Amber through this tough time
crewchild500: I am, all the time, when I wake up,
when I eat breakfast, when I'm at class, and
so on and so forth.
kiwibird26: Wow, good for you
kiwibird26: I'll pray for you too
crewchild500: but still, I really think I am going
to have a break down and just cry for like
three hours about how much i miss her. never
in my wildest dreams would i think of ending
my relationship with her, but i might go as far
as to spend all the money i have and buy a
plane ticket to go home and see her, but that is
an extreme that has the possibility, but
probably won't happen, cause i still do have a
head on my shoulders
kiwibird26: Yeah, don't get carried away. I've never loved
anyone the way you love Amber, so I know I don't totally
understand, but if you buy a plane ticket home, it'll probably
be even harder to leave again
crewchild500: yeah i know. I'm just saying, if it
came to that, I probly wouldn't think too much
about it. But it won't cause I usually over
think things
kiwibird26: Yeah, I think you're sensible enough not to
rush into things
crewchild500: I know I am, and I know that
within the next few weeks, I'm going to
explode and just have a melt down. I had a
tiny one when Amber was sick, and you know,
when people say it's a hard thing to do, long
distance relationships, it is hard. But when
you know that you are going to spend the rest
of your life with that person that is 1000
miles away, it's even harder. cause you just
want to be with that person forever NOW, not
later. but the right answer is the answer that
you don't want to realize, and that's
relationships need tests, and the harder the
test, the better the outcome. but it's so damn
hard, I'm sick of just seeing pictures of her.
I'm sick of hearing her voice and not seeing
her lips move. I'm just sick of being away
from her
kiwibird26: Yeah. Though sometimes the explosion and
melt down make you feel better afterwards. But that's very
true about the tests. Because life together (for anyone) is
going to be full of trials, and this is just preparation for
what's to come
crewchild500: exactly, but it hurts so freakin
much. if it weren't for Amber I would be
having a 100% blast at college...but i miss her
and sometimes i just mope from class to class,
then go to lunch put on a pocker face and have
a little laugh with friends and then i go work
out, come back and call amber. this is not to
say i regret dating Amber, I don't regret
anything about Amber and me, it's just things
are different for me, or so it seems, than the
other people, I know, that there are people
here going through the same things, but their
pocker faces are as good as mine
kiwibird26: Yeah, it's hard to know what's going on in
people's lives, because so many of us hide it. But you at
least acknowledge that the problem is you miss and love
Amber so much. A lot of people just mope around and
don't try to find the source.
crewchild500: I mean I didn't get much sleep
last night because 1.) there was a lighting
storm the plowed through, which made me just
want to hold Amber in my arms as we both
watched the lightning and heard the thunder,
and 2.) I just plain couldn't get her out of my
head. My tank was so low today because out
of about the 5 hours of "sleep" i got, about 2
of those were actual decent sleep
crewchild500: In which i dreamed about Amber
kiwibird26: Wow
kiwibird26: Calvin, you shouldn't have to go through this
for the entire semester, let alone your entire college
career!
kiwibird26: It's not healthy....but I don't know how you
can change it honestly
crewchild500: tougher the test better the
outcome
kiwibird26: I mean, you seem to have all the right ideas
and intentions, but your body just can't handle being away
from Amber
crewchild500: last night was just an off night
anyways, i let a friend type a paper on my
computer, not knowing that he would be on my
computer until midnight, THEN print his
paper, plus all of that other stuff
kiwibird26: wow
crewchild500: don't worry it's not every night
that i feel like that, last night was just bad...or
good, depending on your view of things
kiwibird26: Well, that's good I guess
crewchild500: no worries though, I'm not known
for giving up, and i hate giving up. I'll find a
way through it, plus Amber is trying to
transfer out here after two years at
Middlesex, so it's not so bad. Note: she's not
coming to NPU, she is looking at the Chicago
Institute of Art, along with Loyola.
crewchild500: along with others
kiwibird26: Ah, well that's nice
crewchild500: indeed
crewchild500: it's just gonna be tough at times,
much like life
kiwibird26: Yeah, very true
crewchild500: Well I feel a little better,
there's still that ache inside, but it needs time
before it can fully come out.
kiwibird26: Well I'm glad you feel a little better
crewchild500: So am I
kiwibird26: I hope you get a good night's sleep
crewchild500: I will, I'm bush wacked
kiwibird26: Speaking of which...I think I might go off to
bed now
crewchild500: yes, I think I will too.
crewchild500: Good night
kiwibird26: Good night!
kiwibird26 is away at 11:10:03 PM.