Hallowe'en for non-North Americans.
The first rule of Hallowe'en is you do not give out unwrapped candy.
The second rule of Hallowe'en is you do not give out unwrapped candy.
The third rule is that you must carve a jack-o-lantern, regardless of artistic ability.
Fourth rule is that a kid in a white sheet is either a ghost or has parents in the Clan. Be sure which it is before giving candy/beatings.
Fifth rule is that everyone thinks you want to harm their children with poison and/or razors. This worry about stranger danger is 97% crazytown and 3% based on real danger.
We ask that you please be creative when harming other people's children. Consider tripping them, telling them there is no Santa, give out unwrapped candy so that their parents will throw it out on them later.
Sixth rule of Hallowe'en is that candy is SRS BSN. No apples, toothbrushs, floss, or mini Bibles.
Seventh rule of Hallowe'en is the bowl on the porch rule. If some punk dumps the whole bowl in his/her bag the HALLOWE'EN IS RUINED FOREVER! The only way to salvage the holiday is to hunt down said little punk and beat him to within an inch of his life.
Alternately you may sit in the shadows with a rifle keeping ever vigilant against holiday ruiners.
Rule the Eighth-Hallowe'en always falls on the last day of October. None of this first odd numbered day after the full moon bullshit (I'm looking at you Easter), and not November 1st.
Rule number nine-costumes are strongly recommended-even if you are only handing out candy or accompanying young children. Just do it.
The tenth rule of Hallowe'en is that if you break any of the above rules your house, you, your car, and other property will recieve the egging/TP-ing of your life. You have been warned.
Rule Eleven-in some places October 30th is considered Devil's night. You will be egged.
Additional rules may appear at random. Suggestions for rules welcome.
Most of this post has been stolen from here