(no subject)
Another year went by. Things are still the same. Still in love with S, even tho we completely broke off every contact. Why? I wish I knew...
We met last year in May and the moment I saw her I was back head over heels. We spent a lovely afternoon having lunch, then sitting by a small pond watching ducks and fishes. It was hopelessly romantic imo.
Three times she told/ask me to accompany her to a trip to Florida that same year, twice on that afternoon, one time already before. She planned that trip alone without her wife. She told me all I'd have to pay was the flight, her hotelroom was a two-bedroom.
There were a million reason why I really wanted to go and a million why not.
Of course I didn't go. At the time I regretted it and was very very down because of that.
But looking back now it was the right choice. I just would get myself hurt.
Not once she got in touch since and I don't know why.
As a result I deleted the messenger where we used to chat. We used a different one so noone could detect us online. She never asked why I did it.
We simply walked out of each others lives.
I still suffer. I still miss her. Not a day goes by I didn't think of her.
So instead I keep faking a happy life with that drinker wife.
I'm an idiot and stupid fool.
The Blacklist. Yes, its still on, hoping for yet another season. Please just one more. One more year. James Spader is everything that keeps me sane these days. He's all I have.
Lizzington may never happen, but at least there's him.
We met last year in May and the moment I saw her I was back head over heels. We spent a lovely afternoon having lunch, then sitting by a small pond watching ducks and fishes. It was hopelessly romantic imo.
Three times she told/ask me to accompany her to a trip to Florida that same year, twice on that afternoon, one time already before. She planned that trip alone without her wife. She told me all I'd have to pay was the flight, her hotelroom was a two-bedroom.
There were a million reason why I really wanted to go and a million why not.
Of course I didn't go. At the time I regretted it and was very very down because of that.
But looking back now it was the right choice. I just would get myself hurt.
Not once she got in touch since and I don't know why.
As a result I deleted the messenger where we used to chat. We used a different one so noone could detect us online. She never asked why I did it.
We simply walked out of each others lives.
I still suffer. I still miss her. Not a day goes by I didn't think of her.
So instead I keep faking a happy life with that drinker wife.
I'm an idiot and stupid fool.
The Blacklist. Yes, its still on, hoping for yet another season. Please just one more. One more year. James Spader is everything that keeps me sane these days. He's all I have.
Lizzington may never happen, but at least there's him.