VENT
I'm freaking stressed, on my period, and almost had an anxiety attack at work. UG!!
Luke, fucking Luke, decides to have a 2 hour conversation ranging from free will to the very nature of our galaxy. Conversations like this freak me out, badly. I started having anxiety attacks about this stuff when I was in the 2nd grade.
Chris has mentioned that it worries him that I don't cry. I haven't cried, from anything other than a movie, since last May and even then it wasn't a lot. Anyway, I tell him that I'm not a robot because a conversation rattled me today. He said "oh no, who said what?" And I explained the conversation (not the anxiety attack). He replies "lol". I don't know why but that just pisses me off. I need to calm down because I don't actually have a reason to be upset.
Most of you have seen me upset about a lot. My last major crying bit was when I broke up with Jay in August of 2007. I've held back ever since then. I got so good at holding back that tears are almost impossible for me now. Anyway, my point is that I've normally been an emotional person and those who've known me awhile know, somewhat, how to handle it. I didn't realize it but I think Chris sees me as this blunt, happy-go-lucky person. I am that with him but I need to remember that he hasn't seen me upset yet. I'm not sure if he will. Hell, the few people that can actually get me to cry only get a few tears before I put the wall back up.
I'm probably going to end up pushing him away and that scares me enough I somehow managed to squeeze out one tear.
Either way I have a math assignment due tomorrow and then a midterm tomorrow night. I need to work on that before Chris picks me up at 8.
Luke, fucking Luke, decides to have a 2 hour conversation ranging from free will to the very nature of our galaxy. Conversations like this freak me out, badly. I started having anxiety attacks about this stuff when I was in the 2nd grade.
Chris has mentioned that it worries him that I don't cry. I haven't cried, from anything other than a movie, since last May and even then it wasn't a lot. Anyway, I tell him that I'm not a robot because a conversation rattled me today. He said "oh no, who said what?" And I explained the conversation (not the anxiety attack). He replies "lol". I don't know why but that just pisses me off. I need to calm down because I don't actually have a reason to be upset.
Most of you have seen me upset about a lot. My last major crying bit was when I broke up with Jay in August of 2007. I've held back ever since then. I got so good at holding back that tears are almost impossible for me now. Anyway, my point is that I've normally been an emotional person and those who've known me awhile know, somewhat, how to handle it. I didn't realize it but I think Chris sees me as this blunt, happy-go-lucky person. I am that with him but I need to remember that he hasn't seen me upset yet. I'm not sure if he will. Hell, the few people that can actually get me to cry only get a few tears before I put the wall back up.
I'm probably going to end up pushing him away and that scares me enough I somehow managed to squeeze out one tear.
Either way I have a math assignment due tomorrow and then a midterm tomorrow night. I need to work on that before Chris picks me up at 8.