*sigh of relief*
Alright everyone. I am back and fine XD I hate leaving emo updates since I am usually so cheery and content, and I don't want anyone to ever question it. I guess I'm allowed to piss and moan everyone once in a while XD
Thanks for the support thusfar! You guys are so sweet. I really have some amazing friends ^_^
Anyway. Care for some not-so-graphic details? (Or accidently graphic details?) Trips to the hospital for such things are always so...interesting to say the least. I have loads of fucked up stories. Since we've lived in New Jersey (and since I've turned 18 and can no longer to go the nearby Children's Hospital where my proctologist was a fucking hot 40-year-old Asian guy with an English accent *dies*) my current proctologist is this pretty cool guy. I can only hope that in return for him being so kind and understanding, I can make his job a little easier by being a young, soft, relatively attractive patient and not at all representing the majority of his regulars: wrinkled, overweight, middle-aged or older, Depends-brandishing grandparents with 'roids and ass pimples and unwarrented amounts of...hair *eeeee....* who are usually the more likely candidates for colon problems and bowel difficulites (BTW I will apologize now for those few images...I will immediately cut off my head the instant I have completed this post...scarring you for life).
So after my somewhat unbearable prep, that for some reason was worse than usual, I slept for a solid hour T_T, awoken by my father at 5 in the morning, and lethargically got dressed, grabbed a roll of toilet paper (for emerganies) and my contrainer of Destitan (doesn't only soothe diaper rash!) and got into the car. The hospital is pretty close by, but my father had never been there before, and the directions were wrong -_-;; but we got there in time, and I dragged my starved and empty ass into the impressive facility. I probably looked albino at this point, with blood-shot eyes induced by fatigue and zero pigment on my malnurished and already pale-as-fuck skin. We waited for a short time in the waiting room for surgeries/similar procedures while the receptionist took care of a few impending patients. Basically, you sign in, she calls you up, makes copies of your drivers' license and insurance card, makes sure you have a ride/escort with you, and asks you some questions...i.e. "Do you have a living will?" "Do you give this family member permission to view your records?" etc.
Two middle-aged women were ahead of me, filling out there forms and signing things, and I overheard the receptionist asking both times what religion each woman practiced or considered herself apart of. The first woman said Catholic. And the receptionist finished the second woman's response with the same thing. Either the second woman was a returning patient and her information was already in the computer, or she was making a safe assumption. My dad and I suppressed snickers.
Then my name is called. I go up there, wearing a red martial arts shirt, holding my Naruto wallet with my license and insurance card, carrying with me my blatantly anime-loving bag. She answers a few questions for me, "Sex, female. Age, nineteen. Marital Status, single (;_;!)" ....and my heart starting pounding and I knew what she was gonna ask next.
"Religion?" Seemingly expecting the usual, I had to guess she heard 'Catholic, Christian, Jewish, etc.' for the most part. Or even 'agnostic/aetheist.'
I manage to make eye-contact despite my drowsy and hardly-cognizant state. "Druidism."
The pretty girl behind the desk looks at me, confused. Not offended (this *is* South Jersey), just...unexpecting.
"Pagan," I said. "It's pagan." She typed something unseen to me. I do hope she knew I wasn't kidding and didn't put down 'Catholic' instead. XD lol.
I asked her why such a questions was on file, and pretty much guessed why. She told me that if something happened, some people like having clergy or rabi's come in and gie them blessings, and it would be easy to summon them if they had our religious preferances on file. Makes sense. Wouldn't it be hilarious if something happened and while I was lying on my death bed awaiting my dying rites, they send in this sixteen-year-old goth girl wearing heavy eye make-up and pentagrams (you know...those girls who think that Wicca is all the rage and tell people they are witches and shit and don't know anything about the actual religion/rituals) and says "Merry Meeting. Whomever it is we are supposed to worship blesses you and promises your life to follow will be nice. Huh? My patron goddess? Am I suppose to have one? Atlantis? What....? No, no I am a witch, I swear! My eyes turn red when my mom yells at me for not taking out the trash and spending too much money at Hot Topic..."
-_-;;;;
I will admit, however...I had the urge to say 'Satanism' to break the cycle of same religions more harshly, but it was fucking 6am and I was exhausted and this lady was nice and pretty, and I didn't want to seem like some middleschool wannabe nonconformist whose trying to rebel from their moral upbringing and parent's religious endeavors. Plus...what if she actually believed me...? T_T Not that I have a problem with the actual religion...just not me, yanno?
Anyway...after that is was pretty smooth-sailing. Go into little room with nurse, answer more questions, chuckle at surpirsed looks when admitting that you don't drink or smoke (she knew I was in college), and pretty much strip down into robe, get IV (I know now that the only place it works is on my hands), and walk into the OR, plop on the bed thingie and fall the fuck asleep. I'm usually calm enough to be light-hearted, so it's as pleasant an experience as possible.
Two funny things though:
1. My urine test said that I was pregnant (LOL) and I told her right then and there that I didn't sleep with men...XD The only reason it came out positive was because I haven't had my period in a while, and she tried it again and it came out negative. (Lesbians rule).
2. Some crazy, half-conscious patient-man said that my clothes and nerdbag were his *o_O* while I was sitting back in the little room with them ready to get changed! LOL A black nurse was like "Yo sir, that don't make no sense! *laughter* These ar' hers!" ....lol
Anyway. All is well! The doc showed me some pictures of my colon when I woke up and pretty much nothing had changed. The only thing that could be seen was that the lower part of my colon (where I had previous operations) was inflamed, probably because of the scar tissue and irritated mucus glands. Everything above that was perfectly normal. He said we'd discuss whether or not we wanna fix this problem, and that other than that, there was no cancer, pollops, abnormalities and that I was healthy and free to go. All's well that ends well!
Now I am home, waiting for Beck to get here and thinking about calling Annie for some sushi. Sorry for this novella! T'is a habit, I suppose. I need to disipline these cats. Maho just tore a claw through an immensely sexy Shuffle! poster...naughty naughty naughty.
Love to all!
PS: I am never leaving Beck along here again! One, because I miss her too much, and two, she made a giant fucking mess -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Thanks for the support thusfar! You guys are so sweet. I really have some amazing friends ^_^
Anyway. Care for some not-so-graphic details? (Or accidently graphic details?) Trips to the hospital for such things are always so...interesting to say the least. I have loads of fucked up stories. Since we've lived in New Jersey (and since I've turned 18 and can no longer to go the nearby Children's Hospital where my proctologist was a fucking hot 40-year-old Asian guy with an English accent *dies*) my current proctologist is this pretty cool guy. I can only hope that in return for him being so kind and understanding, I can make his job a little easier by being a young, soft, relatively attractive patient and not at all representing the majority of his regulars: wrinkled, overweight, middle-aged or older, Depends-brandishing grandparents with 'roids and ass pimples and unwarrented amounts of...hair *eeeee....* who are usually the more likely candidates for colon problems and bowel difficulites (BTW I will apologize now for those few images...I will immediately cut off my head the instant I have completed this post...scarring you for life).
So after my somewhat unbearable prep, that for some reason was worse than usual, I slept for a solid hour T_T, awoken by my father at 5 in the morning, and lethargically got dressed, grabbed a roll of toilet paper (for emerganies) and my contrainer of Destitan (doesn't only soothe diaper rash!) and got into the car. The hospital is pretty close by, but my father had never been there before, and the directions were wrong -_-;; but we got there in time, and I dragged my starved and empty ass into the impressive facility. I probably looked albino at this point, with blood-shot eyes induced by fatigue and zero pigment on my malnurished and already pale-as-fuck skin. We waited for a short time in the waiting room for surgeries/similar procedures while the receptionist took care of a few impending patients. Basically, you sign in, she calls you up, makes copies of your drivers' license and insurance card, makes sure you have a ride/escort with you, and asks you some questions...i.e. "Do you have a living will?" "Do you give this family member permission to view your records?" etc.
Two middle-aged women were ahead of me, filling out there forms and signing things, and I overheard the receptionist asking both times what religion each woman practiced or considered herself apart of. The first woman said Catholic. And the receptionist finished the second woman's response with the same thing. Either the second woman was a returning patient and her information was already in the computer, or she was making a safe assumption. My dad and I suppressed snickers.
Then my name is called. I go up there, wearing a red martial arts shirt, holding my Naruto wallet with my license and insurance card, carrying with me my blatantly anime-loving bag. She answers a few questions for me, "Sex, female. Age, nineteen. Marital Status, single (;_;!)" ....and my heart starting pounding and I knew what she was gonna ask next.
"Religion?" Seemingly expecting the usual, I had to guess she heard 'Catholic, Christian, Jewish, etc.' for the most part. Or even 'agnostic/aetheist.'
I manage to make eye-contact despite my drowsy and hardly-cognizant state. "Druidism."
The pretty girl behind the desk looks at me, confused. Not offended (this *is* South Jersey), just...unexpecting.
"Pagan," I said. "It's pagan." She typed something unseen to me. I do hope she knew I wasn't kidding and didn't put down 'Catholic' instead. XD lol.
I asked her why such a questions was on file, and pretty much guessed why. She told me that if something happened, some people like having clergy or rabi's come in and gie them blessings, and it would be easy to summon them if they had our religious preferances on file. Makes sense. Wouldn't it be hilarious if something happened and while I was lying on my death bed awaiting my dying rites, they send in this sixteen-year-old goth girl wearing heavy eye make-up and pentagrams (you know...those girls who think that Wicca is all the rage and tell people they are witches and shit and don't know anything about the actual religion/rituals) and says "Merry Meeting. Whomever it is we are supposed to worship blesses you and promises your life to follow will be nice. Huh? My patron goddess? Am I suppose to have one? Atlantis? What....? No, no I am a witch, I swear! My eyes turn red when my mom yells at me for not taking out the trash and spending too much money at Hot Topic..."
-_-;;;;
I will admit, however...I had the urge to say 'Satanism' to break the cycle of same religions more harshly, but it was fucking 6am and I was exhausted and this lady was nice and pretty, and I didn't want to seem like some middleschool wannabe nonconformist whose trying to rebel from their moral upbringing and parent's religious endeavors. Plus...what if she actually believed me...? T_T Not that I have a problem with the actual religion...just not me, yanno?
Anyway...after that is was pretty smooth-sailing. Go into little room with nurse, answer more questions, chuckle at surpirsed looks when admitting that you don't drink or smoke (she knew I was in college), and pretty much strip down into robe, get IV (I know now that the only place it works is on my hands), and walk into the OR, plop on the bed thingie and fall the fuck asleep. I'm usually calm enough to be light-hearted, so it's as pleasant an experience as possible.
Two funny things though:
1. My urine test said that I was pregnant (LOL) and I told her right then and there that I didn't sleep with men...XD The only reason it came out positive was because I haven't had my period in a while, and she tried it again and it came out negative. (Lesbians rule).
2. Some crazy, half-conscious patient-man said that my clothes and nerdbag were his *o_O* while I was sitting back in the little room with them ready to get changed! LOL A black nurse was like "Yo sir, that don't make no sense! *laughter* These ar' hers!" ....lol
Anyway. All is well! The doc showed me some pictures of my colon when I woke up and pretty much nothing had changed. The only thing that could be seen was that the lower part of my colon (where I had previous operations) was inflamed, probably because of the scar tissue and irritated mucus glands. Everything above that was perfectly normal. He said we'd discuss whether or not we wanna fix this problem, and that other than that, there was no cancer, pollops, abnormalities and that I was healthy and free to go. All's well that ends well!
Now I am home, waiting for Beck to get here and thinking about calling Annie for some sushi. Sorry for this novella! T'is a habit, I suppose. I need to disipline these cats. Maho just tore a claw through an immensely sexy Shuffle! poster...naughty naughty naughty.
Love to all!
PS: I am never leaving Beck along here again! One, because I miss her too much, and two, she made a giant fucking mess -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;