[RL] It's all going down now.

[creepyshitking]

[ Dexter gets up, shakily, to answer the door. He already knows who it is; the only person he could think to call. His eyes are uncharacteristically red-ringed and slightly puffy as he slowly opens the door and gestures inside. ]

Sorry for being so abrupt on the phone. Thanks for.. thanks for coming.

Comments

[gamma_effect]

It's fine, [Bruce says, sliding in and watching Dexter carefully.] Abrupt is... understandable.

[creepyshitking]

Then you already know what this is about.

[gamma_effect]

I saw. I can't imagine what you must be feeling.

It's... not always that great to get a second chance, at least not at first.

[creepyshitking]

I don't deserve one anyway. [ tries to take a breath, moving to sit on the couch. ]

[gamma_effect]

We don't all get what we deserve, [he says, following him and not contesting Dexter's assessment.] It's not a bad thing.

[creepyshitking]

How can it not be a bad thing? She's, unreachable. To say the least.

It's like the Universe is teasing me.

[gamma_effect]

Maybe, maybe not. Whatever it's doing, she's here, and you can talk to her. You might as well take the opportunity for what it is, Dex.

[creepyshitking]

But she's .. connected. It's like a glimpse of my own life five years ago. What I could have kept. It's cruel.

[gamma_effect]

No one ever said mercy wasn't cruel. You can handle this; we'll be here. It's just... hard.

[creepyshitking]

You're wrong. I can't handle this. [ face in hands, elbows on knees; he looks like the wind's been knocked out of him ]

Who's next? Harry? Let's bring back everyone I ever cared about while we're at it.

[gamma_effect]

[Bruce leans forward from his seat, almost mirroring the position, but watching Dexter still.]

You can only take things as they come. That's all you can do.

[creepyshitking]

[ he nods, without processing the words, he's starting to hyperventilate a bit-- but he hates that, and he starts trying to calm himself down. mostly a futile effort. ]

... I don't know how.

[gamma_effect]

I'll teach you how.

[He reaches out, settles a hand with a firm grip on Dexter's arm closest to him.] Start by breathing. Don't think of anything else, just breathing in, and out. Emotions come from how you breathe.

[creepyshitking]

[ he starts at the contact, but soon finds himself grounding himself in it. it takes him a moment, but he's doing it. focusing on his breathing, and he recognizes this feeling. compartmentalization. pure, blessed nothing.

dexter closes his eyes and loses himself further in the darkness. maybe when he comes out, this will all be over. ]

[gamma_effect]

Let it go, [he murmurs in a low voice, keeping his hand where it is, pressure not changing.] Just let it go. All you're doing is inhaling... and exhaling.

[creepyshitking]

[ he nods minutely, not really hearing bruce but obeying all the same. his instincts are screaming at him to stand up, to do something. but he knows siting here is more constructive, despite his usually solid judgment ]

I .. can breathe again. [ slowly, dexter opens his eyes. ]