FIC DUMP!!!
Ahh! Courtesy of my "friends" at TIP, I have mass amounts of ficcage for y'all. All of it drabble-ish. Much crack involved.
Title: The Dead
Author: creepy_crawly
Rating: G
Pairing: HakuChouji
Warnings: Yaoi. Crack like you would not believe.
Disclaimer: I no own.
Summary: I lay all the blame for this at ckret2’s feet. May she glory in it.
Chouji walked slowly down the path to the Wave village, fiddling with the zipper on his chuunin vest. He stayed alert for any enemy nin or unwanted guests, even as he kept his eyes peeled for the small memorial his friends had erected for their first casualties.
The large sword was gone, and Chouji frowned. Still, he knelt at the smaller memorial and thrust a kunai into the soft earth. As he turned and left the clearing, a breeze made the small note attached to it flutter wildly.
----
“Barbeque again?” a slim figure asked, sliding into the booth across from Chouji.
“It’s good,” he said by way of explanation, smiling at the other man. “You got my message?”
“Clearly,” Haku said dryly. “You found the graves?”
“Clearly,” Chouji mocked. “Somebody’s moved…”
“I know,” Haku murmured, cutting him off. “Suigetsu. He’s palling around with Sasuke right now.”
“Are you safe?” Chouji asked. “If they’re coming through here…”
“I’m safe,” Haku promised. Leaning up slightly, he kissed the other man chastely. “Don’t worry about me. After all, the dead can’t die again.”
For more of my ckret2-inspired-crack, check out these: Possessives (SasuOro) and Into the Darkness (OroNaru). Also, feel free to request fic with cracky pairings. As you can see, I’ll say “sure!” to just about anything.
Title: A Rose For Ino
Author: creepy_crawly
Rating: G
Pairing: Zetsu and…Ino…
Warnings: um…it’s ZetsuIno for crying out loud. Creep factor.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own this. Thank god.
Summary: Another drabble, pairing courtesy (once more) of ckret2.
Ino looked up as the bell above the door rang. The light was streaming in through the front window, and she frowned, struggling to see who it was standing in the doorway.
Whoever it was wore a cloak, but even that could not disguise his odd shape completely. The man-Ino was certain that it was a man that stood in the doorway, based on his stature and general build-seemed to be misshapen, hideously deformed. His head was lumpy, and his body seemed to bulge and curve in strange, unnatural places.
“Hello?” Ino called, one hand sneaking beneath the desk to seize a kunai. “Yamanaka Flowers. May I help you, sir?”
The man said nothing. Ino fidgeted on her stool, uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her, as if seeing into her very soul. She could almost feel the way his were settling on her slim form.
Suddenly, a long, thin strand shot out from under his cloak. In the second it paused directly in front of her, Ino saw that it was green, like a vine…
The man turned and left. Only after the door had chimed shut behind him and his shadow cleared from the street did Ino look at what lay before her.
It was white, with an odd, shimmering tone. She lifted it carefully. It was smooth, and cool. Beneath her shaking fingers, it felt like bone.
Ino’s eyes widened as they finally comprehended the shape of what she had been handed.
It was a rose.
For more of my ckret2-inspired-crack, check out these: Possessives (SasuOro) and Into the Darkness (OroNaru). Also, feel free to request fic with cracky pairings. As you can see, I’ll say “sure!” to just about anything.
Title: Fate
Author: creepy_crawly
Rating: PG
Pairing: KankurouNeji
Warnings: Yaoi. Mentions of sexual situations.
Disclaimer: I no own.
Summary: Neji resists his fate, at first.
“I refuse to be a glorified broodmare for this clan!” Neji roared, seething as he glared at his uncle.
Hiashi watched him, face impassive. “Neji,” he said finally, his voice cool, “you will marry for the advancement of your bloodline. It is expected of you, after all. You know this.”
“Knowing it and accepting it are two separate things all together,” Neji spat.
“You will marry Takahashi Rukia,” Hiashi said calmly, as if there would be no more debating the topic.
Neji’s frown deepened, and then swept away, leaving his face as calm and as impassive as ever. Without saying a word to his uncle, he turned and left.
----
Kankurou frowned. “That’s awful,” he whispered. “How can he just order you to marry someone?”
“I’m Branch House,” Neji sighed by way of explanation. “He can order me to do anything.” Despondent, he curled against his tanned lover, one pale hand snaking up to rub at the exposed mark on his brow.
Gently taking his arm, Kankurou tugged his hand back down, and then curled so that the younger jounin could snuggle against his chest better. Nights in the desert were bitterly, bitingly cold, and he left the window open to allow his lover access to his very-protected room. With a heavy sigh, the puppeteer began stroking through the silken black fall of Neji’s hair.
“I don’t want some woman doing this,” he said suddenly, cupping Neji’s skull in one hand. “I don’t want some woman stroking your hair, or caressing your cheeks, or feeling your body lying beneath her.”
Neji stared up at him, pale eyes hopeful but guarded.
Feeling a sob rising in his throat, Kankurou continued. “I don’t want some woman hearing your heart race beneath her cheek. I don’t want her to feel your blood pounding in your veins when your hands are trapped over your head. I don’t want her to taste your lips. I don’t want her to have you!”
He kissed Neji savagely, tears falling down his freckled cheeks. “Unfortunately,” he choked, “I don’t know how to stop her.”
“Sometimes,” Neji sighed, staring out and up at the moon with a sad smile and empty eyes, “you can’t. Sometimes…it’s just…fate.”
Title: Homecoming
Author: creepy_crawly
Rating: G
Pairing: TemariIno
Warnings: yuri. And just barely that.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own this; I’m just letting the girls out to play.
Summary: A homecoming for Temari and Ino.
Hands-rough, tanned and calloused from daily labours under the hot and blistering sun-stroke down her slim sides. Long, strong legs stand out as bronze against her own snowy-pale ones, wrapped tightly together on top of the soft blanket. Thick blonde hair-only now released from its confines-lays scattered across her pillow like the miller’s daughter’s spun gold.
Soft, pale eyes meet her own.
I missed you, Ino says without words.
And Temari answers, I’m home.
Title: The Dead
Author: creepy_crawly
Rating: G
Pairing: HakuChouji
Warnings: Yaoi. Crack like you would not believe.
Disclaimer: I no own.
Summary: I lay all the blame for this at ckret2’s feet. May she glory in it.
Chouji walked slowly down the path to the Wave village, fiddling with the zipper on his chuunin vest. He stayed alert for any enemy nin or unwanted guests, even as he kept his eyes peeled for the small memorial his friends had erected for their first casualties.
The large sword was gone, and Chouji frowned. Still, he knelt at the smaller memorial and thrust a kunai into the soft earth. As he turned and left the clearing, a breeze made the small note attached to it flutter wildly.
----
“Barbeque again?” a slim figure asked, sliding into the booth across from Chouji.
“It’s good,” he said by way of explanation, smiling at the other man. “You got my message?”
“Clearly,” Haku said dryly. “You found the graves?”
“Clearly,” Chouji mocked. “Somebody’s moved…”
“I know,” Haku murmured, cutting him off. “Suigetsu. He’s palling around with Sasuke right now.”
“Are you safe?” Chouji asked. “If they’re coming through here…”
“I’m safe,” Haku promised. Leaning up slightly, he kissed the other man chastely. “Don’t worry about me. After all, the dead can’t die again.”
For more of my ckret2-inspired-crack, check out these: Possessives (SasuOro) and Into the Darkness (OroNaru). Also, feel free to request fic with cracky pairings. As you can see, I’ll say “sure!” to just about anything.
Title: A Rose For Ino
Author: creepy_crawly
Rating: G
Pairing: Zetsu and…Ino…
Warnings: um…it’s ZetsuIno for crying out loud. Creep factor.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own this. Thank god.
Summary: Another drabble, pairing courtesy (once more) of ckret2.
Ino looked up as the bell above the door rang. The light was streaming in through the front window, and she frowned, struggling to see who it was standing in the doorway.
Whoever it was wore a cloak, but even that could not disguise his odd shape completely. The man-Ino was certain that it was a man that stood in the doorway, based on his stature and general build-seemed to be misshapen, hideously deformed. His head was lumpy, and his body seemed to bulge and curve in strange, unnatural places.
“Hello?” Ino called, one hand sneaking beneath the desk to seize a kunai. “Yamanaka Flowers. May I help you, sir?”
The man said nothing. Ino fidgeted on her stool, uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her, as if seeing into her very soul. She could almost feel the way his were settling on her slim form.
Suddenly, a long, thin strand shot out from under his cloak. In the second it paused directly in front of her, Ino saw that it was green, like a vine…
The man turned and left. Only after the door had chimed shut behind him and his shadow cleared from the street did Ino look at what lay before her.
It was white, with an odd, shimmering tone. She lifted it carefully. It was smooth, and cool. Beneath her shaking fingers, it felt like bone.
Ino’s eyes widened as they finally comprehended the shape of what she had been handed.
It was a rose.
For more of my ckret2-inspired-crack, check out these: Possessives (SasuOro) and Into the Darkness (OroNaru). Also, feel free to request fic with cracky pairings. As you can see, I’ll say “sure!” to just about anything.
Title: Fate
Author: creepy_crawly
Rating: PG
Pairing: KankurouNeji
Warnings: Yaoi. Mentions of sexual situations.
Disclaimer: I no own.
Summary: Neji resists his fate, at first.
“I refuse to be a glorified broodmare for this clan!” Neji roared, seething as he glared at his uncle.
Hiashi watched him, face impassive. “Neji,” he said finally, his voice cool, “you will marry for the advancement of your bloodline. It is expected of you, after all. You know this.”
“Knowing it and accepting it are two separate things all together,” Neji spat.
“You will marry Takahashi Rukia,” Hiashi said calmly, as if there would be no more debating the topic.
Neji’s frown deepened, and then swept away, leaving his face as calm and as impassive as ever. Without saying a word to his uncle, he turned and left.
----
Kankurou frowned. “That’s awful,” he whispered. “How can he just order you to marry someone?”
“I’m Branch House,” Neji sighed by way of explanation. “He can order me to do anything.” Despondent, he curled against his tanned lover, one pale hand snaking up to rub at the exposed mark on his brow.
Gently taking his arm, Kankurou tugged his hand back down, and then curled so that the younger jounin could snuggle against his chest better. Nights in the desert were bitterly, bitingly cold, and he left the window open to allow his lover access to his very-protected room. With a heavy sigh, the puppeteer began stroking through the silken black fall of Neji’s hair.
“I don’t want some woman doing this,” he said suddenly, cupping Neji’s skull in one hand. “I don’t want some woman stroking your hair, or caressing your cheeks, or feeling your body lying beneath her.”
Neji stared up at him, pale eyes hopeful but guarded.
Feeling a sob rising in his throat, Kankurou continued. “I don’t want some woman hearing your heart race beneath her cheek. I don’t want her to feel your blood pounding in your veins when your hands are trapped over your head. I don’t want her to taste your lips. I don’t want her to have you!”
He kissed Neji savagely, tears falling down his freckled cheeks. “Unfortunately,” he choked, “I don’t know how to stop her.”
“Sometimes,” Neji sighed, staring out and up at the moon with a sad smile and empty eyes, “you can’t. Sometimes…it’s just…fate.”
Title: Homecoming
Author: creepy_crawly
Rating: G
Pairing: TemariIno
Warnings: yuri. And just barely that.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own this; I’m just letting the girls out to play.
Summary: A homecoming for Temari and Ino.
Hands-rough, tanned and calloused from daily labours under the hot and blistering sun-stroke down her slim sides. Long, strong legs stand out as bronze against her own snowy-pale ones, wrapped tightly together on top of the soft blanket. Thick blonde hair-only now released from its confines-lays scattered across her pillow like the miller’s daughter’s spun gold.
Soft, pale eyes meet her own.
I missed you, Ino says without words.
And Temari answers, I’m home.