unmotivated ...ish
life is a cocked-up balance of old drama resolving itself and new drama sliding in to take it's place. i'm getting bursts of "wanna create" moments, but they're usually when i'm at work: a good 5-6 hours before i get to be in charge of my time. by the time that rolls off my plate i'm too beat down to really want to do anything other than go home and veg and not deal.
i want to write. so much do i want to write. i have scores and scores of posts in my head. fic ideas that didn't get written for any number of requests for whatever reason. i have a fic that's 90% written (everything but the sex) that i started ... 2 years ago? when i was basically just reading HP fic. it was before HBP came out and when it did...well, let's just say that a 7th year fic between hermione and snape looses some of it's impact when JKR goes and completely curve-balls a character in this "you never really knew him" sort of way. and now 7's coming out in a few months. i mean, hurrah and all, and i remember when 7/7/7 seemed like way too long, but i'm not sure i'm ready.
it's fun to watch the random posts where people are already mourning the end of canon, especially the ones where this is their first one. i came from the joss verse (buffy, angel, firefly) so i guess i'm used to it. it's still sort of freaky, especially when you *know* that the end is the end. with firefly it was sort of a "push you off a cliff" kind of deal. i'm still bitter about it actually. it's great introducing people to the show/movie, but there's that point where they watch the 13 episodes and say "great! onto the move!" and i just want to shake them and say "no! you have to live with the idea that that is no movie and nothing more will ever come and it's just left like that with no explanation for at least 2 years and *then* i'll let you watch the movie!"
gosh.
for someone who didn't want to write, it looks like i've done a bit.
um...yeah.
anyway, i'll be trolling the ficathons i signed up for this month, reading and commenting at will (and of course linking to my own gifts when they come in). i'm totally going to finish that hermione/snape thing, too, and post it in the next month or so. i can't commit to any new 'thons for a while though. i can't trust that the craziness that is my life will go away efficiently enough that i get to write.
woe. i'll stop whining now, i promise ;)
i want to write. so much do i want to write. i have scores and scores of posts in my head. fic ideas that didn't get written for any number of requests for whatever reason. i have a fic that's 90% written (everything but the sex) that i started ... 2 years ago? when i was basically just reading HP fic. it was before HBP came out and when it did...well, let's just say that a 7th year fic between hermione and snape looses some of it's impact when JKR goes and completely curve-balls a character in this "you never really knew him" sort of way. and now 7's coming out in a few months. i mean, hurrah and all, and i remember when 7/7/7 seemed like way too long, but i'm not sure i'm ready.
it's fun to watch the random posts where people are already mourning the end of canon, especially the ones where this is their first one. i came from the joss verse (buffy, angel, firefly) so i guess i'm used to it. it's still sort of freaky, especially when you *know* that the end is the end. with firefly it was sort of a "push you off a cliff" kind of deal. i'm still bitter about it actually. it's great introducing people to the show/movie, but there's that point where they watch the 13 episodes and say "great! onto the move!" and i just want to shake them and say "no! you have to live with the idea that that is no movie and nothing more will ever come and it's just left like that with no explanation for at least 2 years and *then* i'll let you watch the movie!"
gosh.
for someone who didn't want to write, it looks like i've done a bit.
um...yeah.
anyway, i'll be trolling the ficathons i signed up for this month, reading and commenting at will (and of course linking to my own gifts when they come in). i'm totally going to finish that hermione/snape thing, too, and post it in the next month or so. i can't commit to any new 'thons for a while though. i can't trust that the craziness that is my life will go away efficiently enough that i get to write.
woe. i'll stop whining now, i promise ;)