Jan 14, 2006 16:27
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she said.
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Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
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A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch
together,
when grandpa pulls a beer out of the cooler.
The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?"
Grandpa replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
The little boy answered no. Grandpa said
"Then you're not man enough to have a beer."
A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?"
Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
The little boy answered no, again.
Grandpa said, "Then your not man enough to have a cigar."
A little later, the little boy came out of the house with some cookies.
Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?"
The boy asked, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah my dick can touch my ass!"
The boy replied, "Then go fuck yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me."