(no subject)
Dear Blue Cross PPO Insurance Provider,
Yesterday, I received a letter from Walgreen’s Drug Prescription Insurance informing me that your company has denied insurance for the medicine prescribed by my doctor, Dr. DelaTorre, listed on your website as a recommended provider. The reason you give is that you feel I ought to try other (unspecified) drugs first.
I am new to the US healthcare system and had not realized that I ought to seek medical advice from you. If that is the case, I will simply cut out the middle man and ask you to diagnose and cure my problems. I include, with this letter, a sample of my phlegm, my blood, my urine and feces, and look forward to an immediate diagnosis.
I cc this letter to my University who recommends your Health Insurance program. I suggest to the University that they simply publish your address and phone number as a direct source of health care, so that we can all avoid trips to doctors. It occurs to me that you might, indeed, have miraculous, mail in, solutions to problems more serious than my own. What alternatives do you propose to radiation therapy or surgery for cancer patients? Do you perhaps have a special, over-the-counter chewing gum to cure diabetes? Is the cure for the aids virus a year of eating aspirin and chamomile tea before seeking a prescription drug?
It seems to me that the 350 dollars I spend and however many hundreds the university spends every month for my health insurance clearly goes to work for the advantage of the patient’s health. This is in fact a splendid business model. I will follow it: I teach university students, but from now on, I will simply refer their questions to the business office of the University. This will free me up to do my own work. Take a few holidays. Perhaps recover from my 4-month sickness.
Yours,
C. Redjeep
Yesterday, I received a letter from Walgreen’s Drug Prescription Insurance informing me that your company has denied insurance for the medicine prescribed by my doctor, Dr. DelaTorre, listed on your website as a recommended provider. The reason you give is that you feel I ought to try other (unspecified) drugs first.
I am new to the US healthcare system and had not realized that I ought to seek medical advice from you. If that is the case, I will simply cut out the middle man and ask you to diagnose and cure my problems. I include, with this letter, a sample of my phlegm, my blood, my urine and feces, and look forward to an immediate diagnosis.
I cc this letter to my University who recommends your Health Insurance program. I suggest to the University that they simply publish your address and phone number as a direct source of health care, so that we can all avoid trips to doctors. It occurs to me that you might, indeed, have miraculous, mail in, solutions to problems more serious than my own. What alternatives do you propose to radiation therapy or surgery for cancer patients? Do you perhaps have a special, over-the-counter chewing gum to cure diabetes? Is the cure for the aids virus a year of eating aspirin and chamomile tea before seeking a prescription drug?
It seems to me that the 350 dollars I spend and however many hundreds the university spends every month for my health insurance clearly goes to work for the advantage of the patient’s health. This is in fact a splendid business model. I will follow it: I teach university students, but from now on, I will simply refer their questions to the business office of the University. This will free me up to do my own work. Take a few holidays. Perhaps recover from my 4-month sickness.
Yours,
C. Redjeep