LJ idol, season six, week one, empty gestures
As I walked into the room the bitter sick smell of death was in the room. The whole family was there so that we could say our final good-bye to Tom's dad.
Six years ago, Dick had been told he had cancer. It was attached to his bladder, kidneys, and intestines. They really should have not even done surgery but the doctors wanted to give it a go and so Dick agreed.
He underwent the surgery and several hours later the surgeon came out hopeful that he had got it all. As we went into the room that evening I remember how white Dick was laying in his hospital bed. The next day though Dick was awake and alert, wanting to talk to everyone who came into the room. It did not take long for him to improve. He went home in record time according to the surgeons.
Over the next months and years he went through chemo and survived it all.
But what ended up killing him in the end was pneumonia.
It was such a shock to get that phone call that we needed to come and see him as soon as possible. We were planning to go up just after New Years to spend several days with Dick and Jackie. So we were so unprepared to have to go up to Tom's folks in the middle of December like this.
So many things had to be done. We needed to make sure that the animals were taken care of. We needed to pack. And what to pack became the question. I had to find someone real fast to watch my retired guide dog. And I had to get stuff ready for my current guide dog so he could go with Tom and me. But how much food and other items I needed were so unsure. All we could do was our best.
Thankfully, it all fell into place. And the next afternoon we were off to see Tom's dad as fast as the train would take us.
On that cold December day we had no troubles with our travels at all. Talk about a blessing. And we got there in time to be able to talk to Dick for a few minutes before the pain and breathing got to be too hard for him to take.
We planned the rest of the night right there with family and after dinner we stayed in the room with Dick and two of Tom's brothers remembering stories about Dick. We knew it was just a matter of time but did not know how long it would take before Dick went home to the Lord.
What does one say to a man who you know will die at any moment.
I remember telling Dick "I love you". I even remember telling him that there was no shame in just letting go. Dick was a fighter though so giving up was not in his nature. Were those words an empty gesture to help me get through this? Maybe, but just before seven the next morning Dick went home to the Lord as we heard the rain coming down outside at Tom's sisters house. It was as if the heavens knew that we would be sad this day.
So we went to the hospital that final time an hour after he passed to say that final good-bye. Again, this seems like something one should not have to do but it is. Family, friends, and others all need a way of saying good-bye. To me there are no empty gestures in holding the hand of a person who has just died. Sometimes we need that closeness to somehow come to terms with having someone we love and care about leave this earth.
Six years ago, Dick had been told he had cancer. It was attached to his bladder, kidneys, and intestines. They really should have not even done surgery but the doctors wanted to give it a go and so Dick agreed.
He underwent the surgery and several hours later the surgeon came out hopeful that he had got it all. As we went into the room that evening I remember how white Dick was laying in his hospital bed. The next day though Dick was awake and alert, wanting to talk to everyone who came into the room. It did not take long for him to improve. He went home in record time according to the surgeons.
Over the next months and years he went through chemo and survived it all.
But what ended up killing him in the end was pneumonia.
It was such a shock to get that phone call that we needed to come and see him as soon as possible. We were planning to go up just after New Years to spend several days with Dick and Jackie. So we were so unprepared to have to go up to Tom's folks in the middle of December like this.
So many things had to be done. We needed to make sure that the animals were taken care of. We needed to pack. And what to pack became the question. I had to find someone real fast to watch my retired guide dog. And I had to get stuff ready for my current guide dog so he could go with Tom and me. But how much food and other items I needed were so unsure. All we could do was our best.
Thankfully, it all fell into place. And the next afternoon we were off to see Tom's dad as fast as the train would take us.
On that cold December day we had no troubles with our travels at all. Talk about a blessing. And we got there in time to be able to talk to Dick for a few minutes before the pain and breathing got to be too hard for him to take.
We planned the rest of the night right there with family and after dinner we stayed in the room with Dick and two of Tom's brothers remembering stories about Dick. We knew it was just a matter of time but did not know how long it would take before Dick went home to the Lord.
What does one say to a man who you know will die at any moment.
I remember telling Dick "I love you". I even remember telling him that there was no shame in just letting go. Dick was a fighter though so giving up was not in his nature. Were those words an empty gesture to help me get through this? Maybe, but just before seven the next morning Dick went home to the Lord as we heard the rain coming down outside at Tom's sisters house. It was as if the heavens knew that we would be sad this day.
So we went to the hospital that final time an hour after he passed to say that final good-bye. Again, this seems like something one should not have to do but it is. Family, friends, and others all need a way of saying good-bye. To me there are no empty gestures in holding the hand of a person who has just died. Sometimes we need that closeness to somehow come to terms with having someone we love and care about leave this earth.