my life
well i really don't know what is going on in my life anymore. i just wish i could go home and work on things with my wife. i miss her and her son so much. i have been away for a few months and it just kills me to be away. i kno wthat i want to be with her and work things out between us. im not sure what she wants. there are times i can tell she wants to work things out and move foward in our relationship. and then there are times she gets angry and can't stand me and wants nothing to do with me ever. i try to give her space but it is hard. i just want to talk all the time. i am here sitting all day thinking about what happened and what is happening between us. i am changing the things she wants me too but she says iam not. but how would she know she is not here to see me and what i am doing each day. i just don't know anymore. i don't know if iwant to or even if i can continue to fight for her. i have been fighting for so long. i love her with all my heart and it seems that no matter what i do it is never going tobe enough. bottom line is that i finally realize that i want to be the man she wants and i want to be a family again. it is what i want the most out of this. i know she will read this so i will say that i love you babe and want to come home and be the man you want and let me take care of you. you kno wi can do it. just give me this chance to prove to you i can.
well it seems that i ahve told her that i wasn't going to talk to her and she insists on being on line all the time to tempt me to talk to her. i want to but i kno wi can't.it si weird that she is on line at work when she never had been before. she used to be on line on her phone. i don't even know if she is at home or work. i want to beleive that she is at work.
she also thinks that this should be easy for me. how can it be easy. i moved from my home and quit my job and moved to my parents. where i know no one have no job and now no money. i have tried to find a job but no luck yet. what gets me is that she thinks that i can just leave her alone and be happy and think that i am ok where i am at. but of course she thinks that because she still lives in her house and still has her job and still has a life with friends. i have nothing. except a broken heart and stress in trying to get things to work.
don;t get me wrong she is an amazing woman. she is smart, sexy beautiful and everything i have ever wanted in a partner for life. i do love her so much and i want things to work. if not i will be crushed and not be able to love another for the rest of my life. i love her more than i have loved anyone or anything else in my life. she is my reason.
well it seems that i ahve told her that i wasn't going to talk to her and she insists on being on line all the time to tempt me to talk to her. i want to but i kno wi can't.it si weird that she is on line at work when she never had been before. she used to be on line on her phone. i don't even know if she is at home or work. i want to beleive that she is at work.
she also thinks that this should be easy for me. how can it be easy. i moved from my home and quit my job and moved to my parents. where i know no one have no job and now no money. i have tried to find a job but no luck yet. what gets me is that she thinks that i can just leave her alone and be happy and think that i am ok where i am at. but of course she thinks that because she still lives in her house and still has her job and still has a life with friends. i have nothing. except a broken heart and stress in trying to get things to work.
don;t get me wrong she is an amazing woman. she is smart, sexy beautiful and everything i have ever wanted in a partner for life. i do love her so much and i want things to work. if not i will be crushed and not be able to love another for the rest of my life. i love her more than i have loved anyone or anything else in my life. she is my reason.