Jan 21, 2014 15:23
When I started my job at Priory Court I had to do disclosure and barring. It was a bit tricky what with my name change and gender reassignment, but it got done. Once I got the papers through I was to call them and arrange to get my disclosure for life by paying the once a year fee. All excellent except that when i got the papers back and geared myself up to do the phone-call, I was a day or two late and so they couldn't set up the disclosure for life for me.
Used to having anxiety mess up these kids of things, I just figured I'd pay for it again next year. However, I didn't tell my manager that I didn't get the disclosure for life. I should have, but I didn't because I was scared. This happens to me sometimes, and it never ends well.
The other night at the staff meeting boss mentioned the disclosure and barring and asked me to explain how it was done, but I came clean and said unfortunately I missed the deadline so would have to do mine again. She didn't say anything at the staff meeting, but today after work in private she gave me a very angry telling off.
I deserved it, because I should have communicated that I didn't get the disclosure for life when I tried to call. I should have managed my anxiety better. I know I had just started, and everything was confusing and I really honestly didn't realize I had missed the deadline at the time. But there was no excuse for me not telling the boss I had missed it. I just thought it would be okay and it wasn't.
Miscommunication is still the route of all evil. I feel like such a noob and wish I was better and communicating. Anxiety really is hard to live with, but it's SO hard to work with. Sometimes I don't know if I'll ever be able to do any job well because of how poor my communication skills with authority figures are.
Anyway, its done now. I've been told off, I've had a cry about it and I must move on now and keep on trying hard.