Meta log with loves_beaches
... can you please tell Flynn to stop trying to backslide into Sorcerous?
Amber: Kevin.
Flynn: Yeah?
Amber: What's up?
(( http://www.dreamwidth.org/go?redir_type=threadroot&journal=grid_lined&talkid=3962893 ))
Flynn: Somebody is getting a little bit too heated up by an argument.
Amber: Ah.
Flynn: *shrugs*
Jag: Amber: *gives him a scrunchy faced considering look*
Flynn: *just. Looks out of the window*
Amber: *sighs, tucks her arm through his*
Flynn: *closes his eyes for a moment, then his other hand reaches to cover hers*
Amber: *squeezes his arm lightly, rests her head to his shoulder* What am I going to do with you? *light, affectionate*
Flynn: *deep breath in*
((Sob. And everybody is all... popcorn.gif at that thread. And I am... you guys don't even have an idea how crappy things will get if he stops holding back.))
((*wry* Well. He's good at being all impassive. Mountainous, is what Amber's calling him back here right now.)) ((Big old mountain you can't really fight against or move or sometimes even see over, that sits there planted and refuses to move.))
((Truth.))
Amber: *laces her fingers through his* Well, I'm sure I'll think of something.
Flynn: *lets it out, nods* You can probably make sure I don't do stupid things with my kids too badly, hmm?
Amber: *laughter in her voice, at least a little* I think I can manage that.
Flynn: *easier, slightly lighter note* Thank you.
Amber: Anytime. Always.
((Alan: *quietly, watching with a small approving smile* We'll take turns.))
((Good. Oi. *kicks Flynn's shins*))
((Alan: He's... sighs* Well. He's Kevin Flynn. *sort of a helpless shrug*))
Flynn: *sighs. Relaxes a little * Not that anyone would have been any less upset by the idea.
Amber: *hm. works her arm out of his to slide her arm around his waist instead* You'll drive yourself crazy trying to come up with ideas that won't upset anyone. Assuming you haven't already.
Flynn: *arm around her shoulders, automatically* Heh.
((just. Clu, coming out of the Grid instead of him. Pretending to be him. To his friends. To his SON.))
((wry Martin Guerre, updated for the 21st century.))
((yeah. It just. *wry* The fact that he's forgiven Clu for what he's done is one thing. He's had a LOT of time for that. Learning this new fuckery? Just made him angry ))
Amber: Part of the hardest ... heh. *shakes her head, sighs* Realizing how little control you have over anything is... one of the most terrifying things in life. Dealing with that, accepting it? One of the hardest.
Flynn: *makes a face, but eyes twinkling* You mean I'm supposed to like being helpless? Man, how will I ever accept that?
Amber: *tickles him lightly, amused* I didn't say that.
Flynn: No? Hmmmm.
Amber: *makes a raspberry noise. then snuggles up into his side* You can control your actions. There's that. But your feelings, other people's feelings and thoughts and ideas, their actions, the weather, gravity. *ponders* Physics. Acoustics. Astrophysics. Time. It's all outside of your control. The vast, brilliant world spinning around without your permission or assistance.
((Amber, have you been studying zen when I haven't been looking?))
((She's been spending time around Flynn. Obviously she has.))
Flynn: Well. I have been able to bend physics, here and there...
Amber: *makes a sort of a strangled laughing noise* I'm sure physics was very... accommodating.
((AMBER.))
Flynn: *pretends to think about that...*
Amber: *definitely chuckling* So, you've done some amazing things. Terrible and extraordinary things. *semi-quoting*
Flynn: And in the end, I'm still the fool on the hill.
Amber: Sees the sun going 'round.
((Questionable. That's what it was.))
Flynn: Good sight, there.
((SOB. What is even happening.))
Amber: *singing a bit* And the eyes in his head, see the world spinning round.
Flynn: *smiles, kisses her forehead*
Amber: *soft smile. hugs him lightly*
Flynn: *hugs back*
((eyes them, shakes head))
((Seriously.))
Amber: *settles in, listening to, well, everything. breathing, the wind, everything*
((Gods.))
((*wry* Any one thing in particular?))
((All of it. And mostly the part where he hadn't teetered so close to Sorcery in a LONG TIME.))
((At least Amber helps?))
((she does. So does Alan. a part of Flynn wants to just curl up between them and not have to do/say anything thereby not messing up anything.))
((That's good for an evening or a weekend. Shuffle, why are you giving me Shine On Crazy Diamond?))
((he's not believed himself a diamond in... nearly forever.))
((*wry* Everyone else does. If he relaxes a little more she might even play it and sing it to him.)) ((... though, for her it's a little different because it's less about the programs and the Grid and everything and more just, him.))
((... when did she get so... in love?))
((It's partly that and partly just, she's around brilliant, innovative, creative people a lot.)) ((She can recognize one even when he's damped it down from depression, caution, or weariness.))
((And let's not forget plain insanity))
((Well. *wry* That goes with creativity a lot of the time, when it's not stabilized.)) ((Which, again, is why she's there. To help people develop coping mechanisms.))
((Sob.))
Amber: *eh, yeah, fuckit. settles him on the couch after a bit, gets the guitar out. perches on the corner of the table and plays it, slipping the guitar riffs out of where they should be a little but, eh. words first, then instrumentals while he ... copes with that*
((Seriously, that song is like 90% guitar riff.))
Flynn: *small smile, leans back and listens*
Amber: *definitely smiling as she sings, all affection and, yeah, considerable zen* Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner...
Flynn: *small shiver, but... doesn't look away. Doesn't let tears fall, either*
((Aaaammmberrrr....))
Amber: *songs with lots of guitar riff go well into transitioning to other songs, albeit softly* I am standing up at the water's edge in my dream.. I cannot make a single sound as you scream...
(( http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/petergabriel/redrain.html ))
((... is she trying to make him cry?)) ((because if she is, she's doing a remarkably good job of it.))
((I actually think she might be. less cry specifically but more let go some.)) ((*wry* With the knowledge that it will probably involve crying.))
((he's... something. He really really wants to just vanish and not screw things up. Because even if he hasn't... fully, he knows that he sooner or later will. And people have had way too much of his screw-ups to deal with already, and it's just not... up to being the kind of person to fix what he's screwed up. He's too old, too contrary, too fossilized, too... too not right.))
((Except if he so much as tries Alan and Amber will chase him down and sit on him.))
((Yes. He knows the routine. He did that with Clu... Plus, he's promised.))
((She can stop, too.))
((*wry* no, it's good. He likes listening to her.)) ((*can hear the facepalming from over here*))
Amber: *will go through http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/peter+murphy/marlene+dietrichs+favorite+poem_20262949.html and While My Guitar Gently Weeps for a bit*
((... ow.))
((*wry* Yeah.))
((Even weirder, he has been doing... reasonably well as far as getting things done/fixed goes. There's progress with the virus, probably to the point of recovering... a much older, but fully functional ISO out of the virus. He is just... *wry* Waiting for the other shoe to drop.)) ((stupid, stupid long years of ... crap.))
((Yes. Making it hard to accept the good things.))
((Close to impossible.))
((But yes. She does love him.)) ((wry And believes in the at least ... palliative? Powers of catharsis.))
((She might be right, too. gyah.))
Flynn: *just. Sitting quietly. Tears streaking down his cheeks. Shoulders slumped*
Amber: *gives that a bit, playing the instrumental, then singing a little more quietly* 'If sand waves were sound waves what songs would be in the air now...'
(( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4Ci1VrvD74 ))
Flynn: *just. Sharper breaths. But that's... man. What is he even thinking, anymore*
Amber: *mmm. last one *
(( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnWX0sbYR-Q )) ((Well, technically that's a duet, but it can easily be made solo.))
((*nodnods * gyah))
((It's also slightly anvilicious. But.))
((VERY ANVILICIOUS))
Amber: *and puts the guitar away and goes sits by him and hugs him tight*
Flynn: *just. Slowly unwinds a bit to wrap his arms around her back, hiding his face in her hair. Holding tight*
Amber: *pretty much the idea, yes. holding and cradling him as best she can, tight and steady, one hand lightly rubbing over his back and combing through his hair by turns*
Flynn: *after a little bit, shaky breath* You know I'm... not going to, you know. *anymore* Stand on a hill and just watch. *it just... hurts too much. Building up everybody's hope to just watch it burn when he starts making the mistakes again*
Amber: I know. *soft, gentle. and smiling* Besides, you'd have Alan there soon after. And then Roy would come up and ask what you're doing. And then I'd have to crash the party.
Flynn: Yeah.
Amber: *just keeps holding on. long, slow strokes through his hair*
Flynn: *after ... some time. And another shaky breath. He'll get a hold of himself, just. In a bit.* How does anyone dare trust me even a little? There's been so little that I've touched that didn't crash around everyone's heads...
(("Because the alternative is unthinkable"))
((sob.))
Amber: *there's a... not really flippant but too-quick answer that comes to mind. it's also not necessarily useful, so, hmm. and she can't speak for everyone. but* Because I do.
Flynn: *just. Small nod against her hair*
((And part of me goes: http://clean.alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/fap-now-kiss-l.png ))
((... *falls off chair*))
((>.>))
Amber: *soft smile. turns kisses his temple, ish. as close as she can get anyway. hugs him tight*
((You're not the only one.))
((Flynn would be ridiculously surprised, anyway))
Flynn: *almost manages a smile, not that it's visible. Squeezing her arm where his hand is from hugging her, just a bit*
((There should still be kissing. *pouts at them*))
Amber: *that's all right. this is good, and it seems to be easing a little. maybe*
Flynn: *maybe...* I'm... sorry. Look at me, old man, crying like a kid.
Amber: Don't make me quote kids' songs at you, then. *'cause she'll totally do it. is doing it.* It's all right to cry Crying gets the sad out of you... *that's SESAME STREET. He might even remember it from when Sam was a kid*
((*facepalms* AMBER.))
Flynn: Yeah. *except, no, it doesn't. It just happens. And then eventually happens again*
(( http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m288ihFuOz1rof65zo1_500.jpg ))
((... *dies*)) ((I swear I should print some of these out and give them to him at D*C))
((YESYESYESYES))
((Hi, Bit. XD))
Amber: *yeah, she can hear that in his voice* Why is it that when we're kids, it's okay to cry when we feel sad. But when we're adults, it's suddenly not okay? Even if we're alone, or don't have anything else to be responsible and put-together for. Or with friends who care and can help.
Flynn: *quietly* Because there are things we never stop being responsible for.
Amber: But that doesn't mean you have to hold together every moment of every day for as long as you live.
Flynn: Mmm. *and even if he can, it won't be enough. And that's the part which is bad.*
Amber: *shakes her head slightly, laughing quietly into his hair* Great mountain of a man. I'll wear you down yet.
Flynn: I've no doubt you will. *and then... what?*
Amber: *hums a bit, then sings a line or two* There's a land that I see where the children are free.. *settles back again*
((*pokes Amber* Stop getting my entire childhood stuck in my head on repeat. ))
((It's one way to counter his age...))
((My entire freaking childhood. I swear.))
((Sorry?)) ((Also just how bad does Alan want to whack him?))
((At least some of these are on my iPod. Alan'll take a turn when Amber lets go of him. Which doesn't seem to be happening.))
((*snorts*))
((besides, whacking him just feeds into his self-flagellation complex.))
((*sighs* Stupid fucking old bastard. Can't win with you...))
((Well, they love him anyway.))
((Ugh, he's... yeah. I don't know, he's. Going to move eventually, but not yet.))
((Amber's there until he does.))
Amber: Kevin.
Flynn: Yeah?
Amber: What's up?
(( http://www.dreamwidth.org/go?redir_type=threadroot&journal=grid_lined&talkid=3962893 ))
Flynn: Somebody is getting a little bit too heated up by an argument.
Amber: Ah.
Flynn: *shrugs*
Jag: Amber: *gives him a scrunchy faced considering look*
Flynn: *just. Looks out of the window*
Amber: *sighs, tucks her arm through his*
Flynn: *closes his eyes for a moment, then his other hand reaches to cover hers*
Amber: *squeezes his arm lightly, rests her head to his shoulder* What am I going to do with you? *light, affectionate*
Flynn: *deep breath in*
((Sob. And everybody is all... popcorn.gif at that thread. And I am... you guys don't even have an idea how crappy things will get if he stops holding back.))
((*wry* Well. He's good at being all impassive. Mountainous, is what Amber's calling him back here right now.)) ((Big old mountain you can't really fight against or move or sometimes even see over, that sits there planted and refuses to move.))
((Truth.))
Amber: *laces her fingers through his* Well, I'm sure I'll think of something.
Flynn: *lets it out, nods* You can probably make sure I don't do stupid things with my kids too badly, hmm?
Amber: *laughter in her voice, at least a little* I think I can manage that.
Flynn: *easier, slightly lighter note* Thank you.
Amber: Anytime. Always.
((Alan: *quietly, watching with a small approving smile* We'll take turns.))
((Good. Oi. *kicks Flynn's shins*))
((Alan: He's... sighs* Well. He's Kevin Flynn. *sort of a helpless shrug*))
Flynn: *sighs. Relaxes a little * Not that anyone would have been any less upset by the idea.
Amber: *hm. works her arm out of his to slide her arm around his waist instead* You'll drive yourself crazy trying to come up with ideas that won't upset anyone. Assuming you haven't already.
Flynn: *arm around her shoulders, automatically* Heh.
((just. Clu, coming out of the Grid instead of him. Pretending to be him. To his friends. To his SON.))
((wry Martin Guerre, updated for the 21st century.))
((yeah. It just. *wry* The fact that he's forgiven Clu for what he's done is one thing. He's had a LOT of time for that. Learning this new fuckery? Just made him angry ))
Amber: Part of the hardest ... heh. *shakes her head, sighs* Realizing how little control you have over anything is... one of the most terrifying things in life. Dealing with that, accepting it? One of the hardest.
Flynn: *makes a face, but eyes twinkling* You mean I'm supposed to like being helpless? Man, how will I ever accept that?
Amber: *tickles him lightly, amused* I didn't say that.
Flynn: No? Hmmmm.
Amber: *makes a raspberry noise. then snuggles up into his side* You can control your actions. There's that. But your feelings, other people's feelings and thoughts and ideas, their actions, the weather, gravity. *ponders* Physics. Acoustics. Astrophysics. Time. It's all outside of your control. The vast, brilliant world spinning around without your permission or assistance.
((Amber, have you been studying zen when I haven't been looking?))
((She's been spending time around Flynn. Obviously she has.))
Flynn: Well. I have been able to bend physics, here and there...
Amber: *makes a sort of a strangled laughing noise* I'm sure physics was very... accommodating.
((AMBER.))
Flynn: *pretends to think about that...*
Amber: *definitely chuckling* So, you've done some amazing things. Terrible and extraordinary things. *semi-quoting*
Flynn: And in the end, I'm still the fool on the hill.
Amber: Sees the sun going 'round.
((Questionable. That's what it was.))
Flynn: Good sight, there.
((SOB. What is even happening.))
Amber: *singing a bit* And the eyes in his head, see the world spinning round.
Flynn: *smiles, kisses her forehead*
Amber: *soft smile. hugs him lightly*
Flynn: *hugs back*
((eyes them, shakes head))
((Seriously.))
Amber: *settles in, listening to, well, everything. breathing, the wind, everything*
((Gods.))
((*wry* Any one thing in particular?))
((All of it. And mostly the part where he hadn't teetered so close to Sorcery in a LONG TIME.))
((At least Amber helps?))
((she does. So does Alan. a part of Flynn wants to just curl up between them and not have to do/say anything thereby not messing up anything.))
((That's good for an evening or a weekend. Shuffle, why are you giving me Shine On Crazy Diamond?))
((he's not believed himself a diamond in... nearly forever.))
((*wry* Everyone else does. If he relaxes a little more she might even play it and sing it to him.)) ((... though, for her it's a little different because it's less about the programs and the Grid and everything and more just, him.))
((... when did she get so... in love?))
((It's partly that and partly just, she's around brilliant, innovative, creative people a lot.)) ((She can recognize one even when he's damped it down from depression, caution, or weariness.))
((And let's not forget plain insanity))
((Well. *wry* That goes with creativity a lot of the time, when it's not stabilized.)) ((Which, again, is why she's there. To help people develop coping mechanisms.))
((Sob.))
Amber: *eh, yeah, fuckit. settles him on the couch after a bit, gets the guitar out. perches on the corner of the table and plays it, slipping the guitar riffs out of where they should be a little but, eh. words first, then instrumentals while he ... copes with that*
((Seriously, that song is like 90% guitar riff.))
Flynn: *small smile, leans back and listens*
Amber: *definitely smiling as she sings, all affection and, yeah, considerable zen* Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner...
Flynn: *small shiver, but... doesn't look away. Doesn't let tears fall, either*
((Aaaammmberrrr....))
Amber: *songs with lots of guitar riff go well into transitioning to other songs, albeit softly* I am standing up at the water's edge in my dream.. I cannot make a single sound as you scream...
(( http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/petergabriel/redrain.html ))
((... is she trying to make him cry?)) ((because if she is, she's doing a remarkably good job of it.))
((I actually think she might be. less cry specifically but more let go some.)) ((*wry* With the knowledge that it will probably involve crying.))
((he's... something. He really really wants to just vanish and not screw things up. Because even if he hasn't... fully, he knows that he sooner or later will. And people have had way too much of his screw-ups to deal with already, and it's just not... up to being the kind of person to fix what he's screwed up. He's too old, too contrary, too fossilized, too... too not right.))
((Except if he so much as tries Alan and Amber will chase him down and sit on him.))
((Yes. He knows the routine. He did that with Clu... Plus, he's promised.))
((She can stop, too.))
((*wry* no, it's good. He likes listening to her.)) ((*can hear the facepalming from over here*))
Amber: *will go through http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/peter+murphy/marlene+dietrichs+favorite+poem_20262949.html and While My Guitar Gently Weeps for a bit*
((... ow.))
((*wry* Yeah.))
((Even weirder, he has been doing... reasonably well as far as getting things done/fixed goes. There's progress with the virus, probably to the point of recovering... a much older, but fully functional ISO out of the virus. He is just... *wry* Waiting for the other shoe to drop.)) ((stupid, stupid long years of ... crap.))
((Yes. Making it hard to accept the good things.))
((Close to impossible.))
((But yes. She does love him.)) ((wry And believes in the at least ... palliative? Powers of catharsis.))
((She might be right, too. gyah.))
Flynn: *just. Sitting quietly. Tears streaking down his cheeks. Shoulders slumped*
Amber: *gives that a bit, playing the instrumental, then singing a little more quietly* 'If sand waves were sound waves what songs would be in the air now...'
(( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4Ci1VrvD74 ))
Flynn: *just. Sharper breaths. But that's... man. What is he even thinking, anymore*
Amber: *mmm. last one *
(( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnWX0sbYR-Q )) ((Well, technically that's a duet, but it can easily be made solo.))
((*nodnods * gyah))
((It's also slightly anvilicious. But.))
((VERY ANVILICIOUS))
Amber: *and puts the guitar away and goes sits by him and hugs him tight*
Flynn: *just. Slowly unwinds a bit to wrap his arms around her back, hiding his face in her hair. Holding tight*
Amber: *pretty much the idea, yes. holding and cradling him as best she can, tight and steady, one hand lightly rubbing over his back and combing through his hair by turns*
Flynn: *after a little bit, shaky breath* You know I'm... not going to, you know. *anymore* Stand on a hill and just watch. *it just... hurts too much. Building up everybody's hope to just watch it burn when he starts making the mistakes again*
Amber: I know. *soft, gentle. and smiling* Besides, you'd have Alan there soon after. And then Roy would come up and ask what you're doing. And then I'd have to crash the party.
Flynn: Yeah.
Amber: *just keeps holding on. long, slow strokes through his hair*
Flynn: *after ... some time. And another shaky breath. He'll get a hold of himself, just. In a bit.* How does anyone dare trust me even a little? There's been so little that I've touched that didn't crash around everyone's heads...
(("Because the alternative is unthinkable"))
((sob.))
Amber: *there's a... not really flippant but too-quick answer that comes to mind. it's also not necessarily useful, so, hmm. and she can't speak for everyone. but* Because I do.
Flynn: *just. Small nod against her hair*
((And part of me goes: http://clean.alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/fap-now-kiss-l.png ))
((... *falls off chair*))
((>.>))
Amber: *soft smile. turns kisses his temple, ish. as close as she can get anyway. hugs him tight*
((You're not the only one.))
((Flynn would be ridiculously surprised, anyway))
Flynn: *almost manages a smile, not that it's visible. Squeezing her arm where his hand is from hugging her, just a bit*
((There should still be kissing. *pouts at them*))
Amber: *that's all right. this is good, and it seems to be easing a little. maybe*
Flynn: *maybe...* I'm... sorry. Look at me, old man, crying like a kid.
Amber: Don't make me quote kids' songs at you, then. *'cause she'll totally do it. is doing it.* It's all right to cry Crying gets the sad out of you... *that's SESAME STREET. He might even remember it from when Sam was a kid*
((*facepalms* AMBER.))
Flynn: Yeah. *except, no, it doesn't. It just happens. And then eventually happens again*
(( http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m288ihFuOz1rof65zo1_500.jpg ))
((... *dies*)) ((I swear I should print some of these out and give them to him at D*C))
((YESYESYESYES))
((Hi, Bit. XD))
Amber: *yeah, she can hear that in his voice* Why is it that when we're kids, it's okay to cry when we feel sad. But when we're adults, it's suddenly not okay? Even if we're alone, or don't have anything else to be responsible and put-together for. Or with friends who care and can help.
Flynn: *quietly* Because there are things we never stop being responsible for.
Amber: But that doesn't mean you have to hold together every moment of every day for as long as you live.
Flynn: Mmm. *and even if he can, it won't be enough. And that's the part which is bad.*
Amber: *shakes her head slightly, laughing quietly into his hair* Great mountain of a man. I'll wear you down yet.
Flynn: I've no doubt you will. *and then... what?*
Amber: *hums a bit, then sings a line or two* There's a land that I see where the children are free.. *settles back again*
((*pokes Amber* Stop getting my entire childhood stuck in my head on repeat. ))
((It's one way to counter his age...))
((My entire freaking childhood. I swear.))
((Sorry?)) ((Also just how bad does Alan want to whack him?))
((At least some of these are on my iPod. Alan'll take a turn when Amber lets go of him. Which doesn't seem to be happening.))
((*snorts*))
((besides, whacking him just feeds into his self-flagellation complex.))
((*sighs* Stupid fucking old bastard. Can't win with you...))
((Well, they love him anyway.))
((Ugh, he's... yeah. I don't know, he's. Going to move eventually, but not yet.))
((Amber's there until he does.))