BLOG WAR!!
You are so filled with hate. Only towards me. I don't think anyone gets to feel it.
Literally one week ago you were talking about how perfect everything was, blogging funny moments we had, talking about the what ifs of life together, what our damn children would look like even.
Three days time and somehow I have never done right by you. You go from topic to topic without stopping to think about what was said:
I wasn't going to spend Christmas with you-came out of left field, had always intended to and never once implied otherwise.
I don't spend enough time with your family-have literally been pushed to the limits of awkward family moments and never stopped moving forward. Weddings, dinners, christmas, graduation, and a vacation I couldn't afford. A christmas eve date with your mom and you that you never got back to me on and canceled.
I never text you sweet things anymore-Just, literally, a couple of days ago a wrote you a novella of a text about how lucky I was to have you.
I didn't touch you enough when we were kissing on your couch-Well, I did have my hand down your ass crack and up your bra, but I guess the points at which I just slid my hands on your side meant I was not into you. Oh, and then there was the fact we were on your couch in direct view of your parents room, from which CJ has been known to come out of at random intervals during the night. A knowledge I've gained from "never" being at your house. Pardon my apprehension.
You didn't feel love last night-That sounds more like an answer to why you feel all these other things to me. You look at things so inside the box that you can't appreciate anything we have. You constantly in a round about way compare us to your mom and CJ, by saying they have a perfect relationship. Inevitably always bringing up the primary point of them always joking poking and laughing. Well, everytime you are over my brother gets pissed because we wont stop being loud. We share those same qualities, but you seem to forget that very easily. And if you don't feel love, it isn't because you weren't loved. It's just you not feeling love and you need to own up to that and stop blaming it on me not loving you.
I never hang out with your friends-I have been to the barn, rode around with you will and chelsea, took a trip to athens to visit josh, went to your pool party and birthday party. Shoot a what's up to aaron every time I see him. Went to Chris's house. Ate with you duncan and chris. Granted I don't do the shopping trips to Jacksonville, or go to the get togethers where I would be the only one not smoking pot and also be there with David, which in itself is an awkward enough situation you shouldn't expect.
I slept on my birthday-I never brought that up even. that was your idea. I just slept longer, hell I didn't mean to, and you didnt wake me up. Sue me, it was my damn birthday and ill sleep if i want to. And you still have no grounds for the sleep too much argument. You slept the first year of our relationship. You fell asleep kissing me for gods sake. And perhaps my sleeping pattern is fucked up because I spent that entire week staying up until 6 am with you. Just a guess.
I said I was bored-I said it because we were acting like it. You keep telling me how I need to do something on my birthday and we are sitting at my house literally just sitting there on the couch with no tv on not even looking at each other. I try to live up to this whole persona you want me to fit and I don't. I don't give a shit if I sleep with you on my birthday, watch a movie, or do anything at all, but you make me feel like shit when you tell me how lame I am for not doing something major.
When you apologized for not doing anything on my birthday, I just said "it's ok"-If you recall, directly after that I said I got to spend it with this most beautiful girl in the world and various other cheesy things to the fourty thousand times you said it. Maybe I didn't once. who knows.
6 days left and you want to fix this eventually because you're too tired. And I am suppose to show some initiative.
You just don't stop. When one thing is settled its rapid fire to the next. Who can complain about someone this much in the span of 24 hours. I'm sure I'm forgetting something. Again I spent 2 days defending myself. Telling you I'm not worthless to you. It's degrading and if the shoe were on the other foot you would never have stuck around the first time. And here I am, time number who knows. I may be a dick and say potty words when we fight, but you take it to a personal emotional level that encompasses our whole relationship and everything we are.
It's like me yelling SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH as youre telling me I have never satisfied you in any way and I'm worthless as a boyfriend.
That's how you can get away with saying you are never arguing or that im the one who blew it up. You say some shit like "my mom would be really disappointed in you if you can't stay longer on christmas" or "obviously i just like your family more than you like mine" and I say "shut up with that shit". As if in normal conversation you just bring up random incendiary trivia and mean nothing by it when we are in a discussion on the topic.
Literally one week ago you were talking about how perfect everything was, blogging funny moments we had, talking about the what ifs of life together, what our damn children would look like even.
Three days time and somehow I have never done right by you. You go from topic to topic without stopping to think about what was said:
I wasn't going to spend Christmas with you-came out of left field, had always intended to and never once implied otherwise.
I don't spend enough time with your family-have literally been pushed to the limits of awkward family moments and never stopped moving forward. Weddings, dinners, christmas, graduation, and a vacation I couldn't afford. A christmas eve date with your mom and you that you never got back to me on and canceled.
I never text you sweet things anymore-Just, literally, a couple of days ago a wrote you a novella of a text about how lucky I was to have you.
I didn't touch you enough when we were kissing on your couch-Well, I did have my hand down your ass crack and up your bra, but I guess the points at which I just slid my hands on your side meant I was not into you. Oh, and then there was the fact we were on your couch in direct view of your parents room, from which CJ has been known to come out of at random intervals during the night. A knowledge I've gained from "never" being at your house. Pardon my apprehension.
You didn't feel love last night-That sounds more like an answer to why you feel all these other things to me. You look at things so inside the box that you can't appreciate anything we have. You constantly in a round about way compare us to your mom and CJ, by saying they have a perfect relationship. Inevitably always bringing up the primary point of them always joking poking and laughing. Well, everytime you are over my brother gets pissed because we wont stop being loud. We share those same qualities, but you seem to forget that very easily. And if you don't feel love, it isn't because you weren't loved. It's just you not feeling love and you need to own up to that and stop blaming it on me not loving you.
I never hang out with your friends-I have been to the barn, rode around with you will and chelsea, took a trip to athens to visit josh, went to your pool party and birthday party. Shoot a what's up to aaron every time I see him. Went to Chris's house. Ate with you duncan and chris. Granted I don't do the shopping trips to Jacksonville, or go to the get togethers where I would be the only one not smoking pot and also be there with David, which in itself is an awkward enough situation you shouldn't expect.
I slept on my birthday-I never brought that up even. that was your idea. I just slept longer, hell I didn't mean to, and you didnt wake me up. Sue me, it was my damn birthday and ill sleep if i want to. And you still have no grounds for the sleep too much argument. You slept the first year of our relationship. You fell asleep kissing me for gods sake. And perhaps my sleeping pattern is fucked up because I spent that entire week staying up until 6 am with you. Just a guess.
I said I was bored-I said it because we were acting like it. You keep telling me how I need to do something on my birthday and we are sitting at my house literally just sitting there on the couch with no tv on not even looking at each other. I try to live up to this whole persona you want me to fit and I don't. I don't give a shit if I sleep with you on my birthday, watch a movie, or do anything at all, but you make me feel like shit when you tell me how lame I am for not doing something major.
When you apologized for not doing anything on my birthday, I just said "it's ok"-If you recall, directly after that I said I got to spend it with this most beautiful girl in the world and various other cheesy things to the fourty thousand times you said it. Maybe I didn't once. who knows.
6 days left and you want to fix this eventually because you're too tired. And I am suppose to show some initiative.
You just don't stop. When one thing is settled its rapid fire to the next. Who can complain about someone this much in the span of 24 hours. I'm sure I'm forgetting something. Again I spent 2 days defending myself. Telling you I'm not worthless to you. It's degrading and if the shoe were on the other foot you would never have stuck around the first time. And here I am, time number who knows. I may be a dick and say potty words when we fight, but you take it to a personal emotional level that encompasses our whole relationship and everything we are.
It's like me yelling SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH as youre telling me I have never satisfied you in any way and I'm worthless as a boyfriend.
That's how you can get away with saying you are never arguing or that im the one who blew it up. You say some shit like "my mom would be really disappointed in you if you can't stay longer on christmas" or "obviously i just like your family more than you like mine" and I say "shut up with that shit". As if in normal conversation you just bring up random incendiary trivia and mean nothing by it when we are in a discussion on the topic.