Fanfiction: The Tribe pairing drabbles (various) 1-10
Someone in Glee fandom did this thing where she had 50 pairings and wrote one sentence for each. I liked this idea and thought I'd use it to see if it helped me get back into writing. Of course, me being me, I couldn't stick to sentences. So these are drabbles/ficlets or whatever the right thing to call them is. They're short anyway, but all quite a big longer than one sentence. And all in varying lengths. Ratings also vary, but I'd say none are above PG-13, R at most. Doubt I'll write anything more graphic than that.
These are the first 10 I've written. I don't know if I'll ever make it to 50, but we'll see.
Like I said, 50 different pairings. Some are romantic, some are platonic, some are family relationships and some are ambiguous and up to you to decide. The main point for me is to explore different relationships and dynamics.
None of them have been betaed, and I wrote them pretty quickly, so I apologise for any mistakes. Feel free to point them out and ridicule me. :p
1. JACK/TRUDY
Early s5 AU
Their fingers touch as Jack takes the cup of tea Trudy hands him. They both stop for a moment, their eyes meet and something in her face changes slightly, at the same time as he feels something change inside him, but he can’t quite place it. Then the moment is over and she’s off to the kitchen to make him something for breakfast. He tries to object politely, but knows it’s no use. She’s been like this since he came back, as if she's trying to make up for everything with the Chosen by serving him tea and toast. If he was better with words he would have told her she didn't need to make up for anything, he had forgiven her by now. It just seemed like a heavy subject to bring up, one that would make her smile go away.
A few weeks later he yells at her. It’s distracting how she keeps interrupting his work to give him food, or something to drink, or remind him to get some sleep, or tell him to take a break. Sometimes she tries to encourage him to talk about things, about Ellie, and that just adds to his confusion. She’ll smile that smile at him, place a gentle hand on his shoulder, their fingers touch when he takes something she offers him. She lets him go on explaining things that he knows she has no interest in, but she’ll still smile politely and for every day she seems to become more interested, even asking questions. He yells at her because he’s stressed, hasn’t slept more than two hours that night, and he’s trying to find their friends, Ellie, in all these damn files borrowed from the Technos but her hand on his arms sends shivers through his body and he’s not supposed to be thinking about her like that. Not when Ellie needs him to find her.
A few days later Trudy is the one yelling at him. He’s seen nothing of her since his own outburst, but managed to think of nothing else in all that time. All her frustrations come out at once; how she’s tried but he’s obviously still mad at her over the Chosen, that she can’t take it back, that she’s trying to be his friend, that she misses Dal to, how much she wishes she could change it but she can’t go back in time, and does he have to be so rude about it all? She’s crying, and he feels like the worst person in the world. Then she asks him if he can ever forgive her. She reads his hesitation wrong and is about to leave when he calls out to her. Somehow he manages to stutteringly get out the words he's been wanting to say so they can start putting that all behind them.
Her eyes still shine with tears, but she’s smiling now. Then she pulls him into a hug and cries on his shoulder. Later that day Trudy and Brady make dinner for him, dragging him away from his room for what seems like the first time in weeks. Brady somehow manages to talk him into reading her a bedtime story. She falls asleep on his lap, and Trudy is looking at him in a way that makes him feel overly aware of everything he does and says. He doesn’t know where this is all going, but as he looks down at the little girl resting her head on his chest, her little arms wrapped around his neck, he’s pretty sure he has at least found himself two new friends.
2. RYAN/SALENE
Post-s5.
The baby is crying. Salene wakes up, ready to get up and do her duty, but hears the baby calm down and a familiar soft voice talking. She sits up in and smiles at Ryan as he holds their little girl in his arms. She’s four weeks old, and already daddy’s little girl. He walks over and sits down next to her on the bed, his face one big smile.
“I think she’s hungry, you ready to feed her?”
Salene says yes, and puts the baby to her breast. Their little girl falls asleep while nursing, and by that point Ryan has fallen asleep again next to her, snoring lightly. She carefully moves their daughter back to her crib and crawls back into bed. She snuggles into him, even in his sleep his arms move to hold her close. She falls asleep against his chest, peaceful and content.
When she wakes up she’s alone. No arms around her. There’s no crib beside the bed. Actually, there’s not even a bed. She’s lying on a bench that’s swaying back and forth. Confused she sits up, rubs her eyes before she remembers she’s on a boat. There’s a baby crying, but it’s not hers. Amber is balancing her son on her hip, trying to calm him down before he wakes everyone up. It was just a dream. She looks up to see Jay walking over to Amber, making baby noises over her shoulder to the little boy who starts to calm down. Salene quickly looks away, wondering just how many more heartbreaking moments like this she can take.
3. MEGA/TRUDY
Late s5 AU
Mega doesn’t notice she’s there before she’s right by the cage and her shadow falls on him. As she puts her hands around the steel bars, he gets up and moves over to her. He puts his hands around the bars just below hers, almost touching.
“Tomorrow, at the trial,” Trudy begins, “I’ll tell them how you helped me, show them a good side of you, they need to see that you’re human.”
He looks at her, puzzled. “Why?”
She has tears in her eyes. “Because…because I know people can change, Mega. I did. I was no better than you. But I got a second chance, you deserve the same. I know you have something good in you; I saw it there in the hotel.”
It would be so easy to fool her. He found it amazing how someone who had been through so much could be so naïve. Put up one amazing performance now, he tells himself, she’ll be pleading for your life tomorrow and get the Mallrats on her side. That could save his life. He could use her to get control over them, start over again with his plans. Her hand slips down, covers his with a gentle squeeze. When he looks back into her eyes he suddenly wonders if he could do it differently. For a moment he sees himself holding her, kissing her, playing house with her and the kid, living a peaceful life. Then he crashes back down to earth, quickly drags his hand away from hers and takes a few steps back. As he sees the hurt look on her face he suddenly feels so tired, too tired to start over, to make all these plans.
“You fell for that?” He asks, making his voice as menacing as possible. “You really are gullible, Trudy.”
She shakes her head, sighs, and walks away. He’s sure she’s crying. A pang of regret rushes through him, he almost calls her back. But he calms himself down, puts all his emotions back into that place he likes to keep them. Its better she just forgets him anyway.
4. HAWK/TRUDY
S4/S5-ish AU
Brady squeals with joy as she splashes water around her in the river. Trudy laughs, sitting on the bank with her bare feet dangling in the water. Hawk finally gives up his attempt at fishing, with Brady scaring any prey away. He wades back to the riverbank and sits down next to Trudy. Their bare legs and feet side by side, water trickling down their skin. She leans back on her hands, stretches her face towards the sun coming through the trees above them, a happy sigh escaping her as she closes her eyes. A light touch on her cheek makes her open them again, and Hawk is looking at her with a smile on his face, his hand brushing a strand of hair off her face.
“Stay here with me, with us,” he says softly, "don't go back there."
She smiles back, leans in and gives him a quick kiss. There is no way she’s leaving now.
5. CLOE/PAUL
Set post-s4.
Cloe finally finds peace again with Paul. It’s been so busy and so loud in her head for so long, so many battles going on up there, so much to figure out between reality and reality space. She can usually tell the difference now. With Paul everything is quiet. She remembers very little of the basics of sign language she learned way back then, but he teaches her. It hurts to remember Patsy doing the same, first with a smile on her face, later with a grieving determination that when her brother returns he’ll feel more at home. Sometimes she finds herself sitting there mimicking his movements with tears running down her face, and she’ll look up from his hands to meet his eyes and see that he is crying to. Because she’s always there between them, hanging over them, it feels almost suffocating sometimes. And yet it’s what keeps them both going, because by remembering her they remember more and more of themselves. It’s something real. Patsy was real. They both know that. They can both hold on to that.
When they finally escape the silvery gray and black of everything that surrounds the Technos, when their minds are no longer being violated every day, when they have their freedom back, Patsy is what keeps them together. She’s in the desperation and need that leads to their first kiss, and their first night together. And the first time Paul teaches Cloe how to sign “I love you” they’re both able to see into the future with hope in their hearts.
They get back home eventually, reuniting with those left of the Mallrats. They name their daughter Patricia, but nickname her Tricia rather than Patsy. It seems unfair otherwise. And when Tricia is old enough, they sit her down and tell her all about her brave aunt who died fighting for the city they love, in a mix of sign language and spoken words like every conversation they have with her. The older Tricia gets, the more they see of Patsy in her. Eventually they get to a point where that stops hurting and just makes them happy to know that somehow Patsy is still with them.
6. DANNI/MOZ
Sometime after s3. Was supposed to be platonic, but Moz has a tendency to turn things sexual.
They disagree on a lot of things. They argue a lot, almost violently sometimes. Moz makes fun of Danni’s voice or hair and it makes Danni even angrier when Moz won’t be constructive in her arguments. Then Moz makes fun of her constant need to be constructive in everything she does.
“Don’t you ever unwind, Danni?”
Moz gets a kick out of winding her up. The angrier Danni gets the wilder her hair gets, her eyes shine, her face goes red and her voice goes up a pitch or two. At some point Moz finds the only way to shut her up is to kiss her.
Once the barrier is broken their fights nearly always turn into sex. And sex is always a battle. The kisses are rough and their hands intrusive (Moz more so at first, but Danni very quickly loses her shyness). Bite marks, bruises and occasionally broken furniture are what’s left behind when it’s over. Moz claims it’s all about sex and fun and release, but afterwards when a sated and half-asleep Danni moves closer, when her hands sneak around Moz’s body and her face rests in the crook of her neck, Moz finds she doesn’t always mind.
7. ELLIE/LUKE
Series 3 AU.
The bars separating them were cold to the touch. His hands closed around hers, locking hers on the cold steel. '
“I’m sorry, Ellie.”
She silently shook her head, unable to keep back the tears. “It’s not fair,” she said finally, her voice shaking.
Luke lowered his head. “It is. I’m paying for my sins, Ellie. I did everything I was accused of.”
“But…” Ellie’s voice came out like a sob, and she had to take a few deep breaths before she could continue. “You’ve changed! You helped bring them down, Luke. They can’t do this to you!”
He removed his hands and took a hold of her wrists to pull her closer, as close as the bars would allow. She grabbed hold of his jacket, just to hold on to something.
“You’re better of without me,” he said softly.
“No, I’m not.” She shook her head. “I love you.”
“I love you to.”
The kiss was awkward, their faces pressing against the bars. It would probably be comical if it wasn’t so serious, so final.
“Promise me you won’t be here,” he said when they broke apart. Their faces were still so close she could feel his warm breath on her skin. “I don’t want you to see.”
She felt like a coward, but she nodded. She just couldn’t take it, she couldn’t be there. She couldn’t watch the city execute the man she loved. She pulled him closer, tugging on the front of his shirt, for another kiss. The very last one. This time she moved away when it ended, walking backwards as far she could, drinking in the last sight of him until she had to turn around. As she passed Lex, standing guard by the cage, he couldn’t look her in the eyes. She didn’t care. She wanted away from this, all of it; the city, the Mallrats. It wasn’t her home anymore.
8. BRADY/TRUDY
Set post-s5.
Brady is six the first time Trudy realises the long-term effects the early years have had on her little girl. It’s a drawing, a monster in the shape of a man but with every feature distorted into something that almost looks comical. It’s the long white hair and white robes that causes concern. Trudy freaks out, wants to know why and how and where she got that image from. She scares Brady, makes her own daughter cry. She spends the rest of the day apologising, and the rest of the week spoiling her girl out of guilt. For a while Trudy scrutinises every single drawing her daughter makes, but she sees no more signs of her own monsters.
Brady is eight when the nightmares come. When it’s gone on for two weeks Trudy starts getting really desperate. Her little girl wakes up every night screaming, never gets a good nights sleep. It’s affecting her. She’s moody, closes off from the other kids around. Ellie starts the research, quickly joined by Trudy and Salene in pouring over books and CDs and discs found in the dusty and worn down city library. They start using terms like “repressed childhood trauma” and rehearse how to speak to the girl about her bad dreams. Salene digs up an article on a cd that makes her conclude that the one drawing from a couple years ago might have been Brady’s way of dealing. So Brady is told to draw what she sees in her nightmares. She draws half-men/half-monsters in robes, and black creatures with metal faces (the latter making Jay go pale and disappear to his room the rest of the day). Trudy encourages her girl during the day, and cries herself to sleep at night while she waits to be woken up by her daughter’s screams.
May swears it has to be the kids at school, that they tell ghost stories of the Chosen and Technos. She doesn’t buy the “psychology crap”, as she puts it. Salene puts both theories together and claims Brady hearing those stories lead to pent up memories being released and turned into nightmares. Trudy doesn’t know what to think. But she has never missed her mother more. She always knew how to still Trudy’s nightmares, make everything seem better again. When the night comes she just tries to follow her mother’s example. She’s so alert to it now, again, the sound of her daughter screaming and crying like when she was a baby, that she’s awake almost before it starts. Then she holds her little girl close, sings softly to her and tries not to cry herself, until Brady falls asleep again. Most nights end with Trudy falling asleep next to her, holding her daughter in her arms.
9. MAY/SALENE
Post series 5
Salene lies still in her bed. May’s body is soft and warm against hers. Salene knows its wrong; she doesn’t love her. Not like that anyway. But May is there, she’s warm and she’s safe. And she cares, she cares about Salene more than anyone else. She’s the only person who does. Everyone else seems to have someone. Even Trudy, or maybe especially Trudy. Because Salene still feels that pang sometimes when she looks at Trudy and Brady smiling and laughing together, or when Amber walks around with her boy in one arm and the other hand always busy with something. She wonders, she always wonders, what it would have been like if she had her own. But that’s a thought that hurts, that makes her want a drink.
May knows her too well now, picks up on her moods and then she’s there. Distracts her from those thoughts, gives her something else to think about. At first she had done it with conversation and tasks - teach Lottie and Sammy how to read, redecorate May’s bedroom, help Gel with someone’s make-over, making bread for breakfast, make pepperoni pizza for dinner with Trudy. It was amazing the many things May could think of for Salene to do when she dropped into one of her moods.
Now May uses kisses and roaming hands. That first kiss back at the mall had been so insignificant and tame in comparison. An accident. The second kiss had been Salene’s fault. Or her initiative might be a better way to phrase it. It had been a mistake but it didn’t feel that way when it happened, nor did the rest of it, not in the moment. It always felt right in the moment, to be wanted like that. Since then May had taken charge, and Salene let her. It was when May drifted off to sleep at night that Salene was restless and scared and lonely again. May slept peacefully now, a smile on her lips. It made Salene’s stomach churn to know it was her responsibility, that she put that smile there. Because she knew perfectly well that it wouldn’t last.
10. LEX/SALENE
Post-s5. This is a rewritten flashback scene from the Next Generation fanfic I was working on, but since I've put that whole thing on hold I decided to use it for this project.
It had just been something between friends the first time they slept together, a source of comfort and nothing else. They hadn’t found Tai-San or Cloe. Patsy was still dead, so were Zandra and Siva and Pride. And Ryan… Ryan was still missing to. On top of that the baby boom hitting the tribe made them both jealous of what they almost had, now that several stomachs were growing in size and Brady and little Bray were everywhere they looked. It made them both want a drink stronger than hot tea come nightfall, when darkness crept in and left them lonely.
They had sat there with their separate cups of tea, eyes meeting across the small table, both of them knowing what the other craved to forget their pain. Everyone else was asleep, only the two of them had trouble sleeping. Salene had of course been the one who burst into tears. Lex moved closer and let her cry on his shoulder. When the opportunity came, he kissed her, never one to let something like that pass him by. Salene knew it was crazy of her to go along with it, but she still did. Was it so bad to want something uncomplicated? Just for one night be able to feel something other than numbing pain? So she gave into the kiss, and let him lead her back to his room.
These are the first 10 I've written. I don't know if I'll ever make it to 50, but we'll see.
Like I said, 50 different pairings. Some are romantic, some are platonic, some are family relationships and some are ambiguous and up to you to decide. The main point for me is to explore different relationships and dynamics.
None of them have been betaed, and I wrote them pretty quickly, so I apologise for any mistakes. Feel free to point them out and ridicule me. :p
1. JACK/TRUDY
Early s5 AU
Their fingers touch as Jack takes the cup of tea Trudy hands him. They both stop for a moment, their eyes meet and something in her face changes slightly, at the same time as he feels something change inside him, but he can’t quite place it. Then the moment is over and she’s off to the kitchen to make him something for breakfast. He tries to object politely, but knows it’s no use. She’s been like this since he came back, as if she's trying to make up for everything with the Chosen by serving him tea and toast. If he was better with words he would have told her she didn't need to make up for anything, he had forgiven her by now. It just seemed like a heavy subject to bring up, one that would make her smile go away.
A few weeks later he yells at her. It’s distracting how she keeps interrupting his work to give him food, or something to drink, or remind him to get some sleep, or tell him to take a break. Sometimes she tries to encourage him to talk about things, about Ellie, and that just adds to his confusion. She’ll smile that smile at him, place a gentle hand on his shoulder, their fingers touch when he takes something she offers him. She lets him go on explaining things that he knows she has no interest in, but she’ll still smile politely and for every day she seems to become more interested, even asking questions. He yells at her because he’s stressed, hasn’t slept more than two hours that night, and he’s trying to find their friends, Ellie, in all these damn files borrowed from the Technos but her hand on his arms sends shivers through his body and he’s not supposed to be thinking about her like that. Not when Ellie needs him to find her.
A few days later Trudy is the one yelling at him. He’s seen nothing of her since his own outburst, but managed to think of nothing else in all that time. All her frustrations come out at once; how she’s tried but he’s obviously still mad at her over the Chosen, that she can’t take it back, that she’s trying to be his friend, that she misses Dal to, how much she wishes she could change it but she can’t go back in time, and does he have to be so rude about it all? She’s crying, and he feels like the worst person in the world. Then she asks him if he can ever forgive her. She reads his hesitation wrong and is about to leave when he calls out to her. Somehow he manages to stutteringly get out the words he's been wanting to say so they can start putting that all behind them.
Her eyes still shine with tears, but she’s smiling now. Then she pulls him into a hug and cries on his shoulder. Later that day Trudy and Brady make dinner for him, dragging him away from his room for what seems like the first time in weeks. Brady somehow manages to talk him into reading her a bedtime story. She falls asleep on his lap, and Trudy is looking at him in a way that makes him feel overly aware of everything he does and says. He doesn’t know where this is all going, but as he looks down at the little girl resting her head on his chest, her little arms wrapped around his neck, he’s pretty sure he has at least found himself two new friends.
2. RYAN/SALENE
Post-s5.
The baby is crying. Salene wakes up, ready to get up and do her duty, but hears the baby calm down and a familiar soft voice talking. She sits up in and smiles at Ryan as he holds their little girl in his arms. She’s four weeks old, and already daddy’s little girl. He walks over and sits down next to her on the bed, his face one big smile.
“I think she’s hungry, you ready to feed her?”
Salene says yes, and puts the baby to her breast. Their little girl falls asleep while nursing, and by that point Ryan has fallen asleep again next to her, snoring lightly. She carefully moves their daughter back to her crib and crawls back into bed. She snuggles into him, even in his sleep his arms move to hold her close. She falls asleep against his chest, peaceful and content.
When she wakes up she’s alone. No arms around her. There’s no crib beside the bed. Actually, there’s not even a bed. She’s lying on a bench that’s swaying back and forth. Confused she sits up, rubs her eyes before she remembers she’s on a boat. There’s a baby crying, but it’s not hers. Amber is balancing her son on her hip, trying to calm him down before he wakes everyone up. It was just a dream. She looks up to see Jay walking over to Amber, making baby noises over her shoulder to the little boy who starts to calm down. Salene quickly looks away, wondering just how many more heartbreaking moments like this she can take.
3. MEGA/TRUDY
Late s5 AU
Mega doesn’t notice she’s there before she’s right by the cage and her shadow falls on him. As she puts her hands around the steel bars, he gets up and moves over to her. He puts his hands around the bars just below hers, almost touching.
“Tomorrow, at the trial,” Trudy begins, “I’ll tell them how you helped me, show them a good side of you, they need to see that you’re human.”
He looks at her, puzzled. “Why?”
She has tears in her eyes. “Because…because I know people can change, Mega. I did. I was no better than you. But I got a second chance, you deserve the same. I know you have something good in you; I saw it there in the hotel.”
It would be so easy to fool her. He found it amazing how someone who had been through so much could be so naïve. Put up one amazing performance now, he tells himself, she’ll be pleading for your life tomorrow and get the Mallrats on her side. That could save his life. He could use her to get control over them, start over again with his plans. Her hand slips down, covers his with a gentle squeeze. When he looks back into her eyes he suddenly wonders if he could do it differently. For a moment he sees himself holding her, kissing her, playing house with her and the kid, living a peaceful life. Then he crashes back down to earth, quickly drags his hand away from hers and takes a few steps back. As he sees the hurt look on her face he suddenly feels so tired, too tired to start over, to make all these plans.
“You fell for that?” He asks, making his voice as menacing as possible. “You really are gullible, Trudy.”
She shakes her head, sighs, and walks away. He’s sure she’s crying. A pang of regret rushes through him, he almost calls her back. But he calms himself down, puts all his emotions back into that place he likes to keep them. Its better she just forgets him anyway.
4. HAWK/TRUDY
S4/S5-ish AU
Brady squeals with joy as she splashes water around her in the river. Trudy laughs, sitting on the bank with her bare feet dangling in the water. Hawk finally gives up his attempt at fishing, with Brady scaring any prey away. He wades back to the riverbank and sits down next to Trudy. Their bare legs and feet side by side, water trickling down their skin. She leans back on her hands, stretches her face towards the sun coming through the trees above them, a happy sigh escaping her as she closes her eyes. A light touch on her cheek makes her open them again, and Hawk is looking at her with a smile on his face, his hand brushing a strand of hair off her face.
“Stay here with me, with us,” he says softly, "don't go back there."
She smiles back, leans in and gives him a quick kiss. There is no way she’s leaving now.
5. CLOE/PAUL
Set post-s4.
Cloe finally finds peace again with Paul. It’s been so busy and so loud in her head for so long, so many battles going on up there, so much to figure out between reality and reality space. She can usually tell the difference now. With Paul everything is quiet. She remembers very little of the basics of sign language she learned way back then, but he teaches her. It hurts to remember Patsy doing the same, first with a smile on her face, later with a grieving determination that when her brother returns he’ll feel more at home. Sometimes she finds herself sitting there mimicking his movements with tears running down her face, and she’ll look up from his hands to meet his eyes and see that he is crying to. Because she’s always there between them, hanging over them, it feels almost suffocating sometimes. And yet it’s what keeps them both going, because by remembering her they remember more and more of themselves. It’s something real. Patsy was real. They both know that. They can both hold on to that.
When they finally escape the silvery gray and black of everything that surrounds the Technos, when their minds are no longer being violated every day, when they have their freedom back, Patsy is what keeps them together. She’s in the desperation and need that leads to their first kiss, and their first night together. And the first time Paul teaches Cloe how to sign “I love you” they’re both able to see into the future with hope in their hearts.
They get back home eventually, reuniting with those left of the Mallrats. They name their daughter Patricia, but nickname her Tricia rather than Patsy. It seems unfair otherwise. And when Tricia is old enough, they sit her down and tell her all about her brave aunt who died fighting for the city they love, in a mix of sign language and spoken words like every conversation they have with her. The older Tricia gets, the more they see of Patsy in her. Eventually they get to a point where that stops hurting and just makes them happy to know that somehow Patsy is still with them.
6. DANNI/MOZ
Sometime after s3. Was supposed to be platonic, but Moz has a tendency to turn things sexual.
They disagree on a lot of things. They argue a lot, almost violently sometimes. Moz makes fun of Danni’s voice or hair and it makes Danni even angrier when Moz won’t be constructive in her arguments. Then Moz makes fun of her constant need to be constructive in everything she does.
“Don’t you ever unwind, Danni?”
Moz gets a kick out of winding her up. The angrier Danni gets the wilder her hair gets, her eyes shine, her face goes red and her voice goes up a pitch or two. At some point Moz finds the only way to shut her up is to kiss her.
Once the barrier is broken their fights nearly always turn into sex. And sex is always a battle. The kisses are rough and their hands intrusive (Moz more so at first, but Danni very quickly loses her shyness). Bite marks, bruises and occasionally broken furniture are what’s left behind when it’s over. Moz claims it’s all about sex and fun and release, but afterwards when a sated and half-asleep Danni moves closer, when her hands sneak around Moz’s body and her face rests in the crook of her neck, Moz finds she doesn’t always mind.
7. ELLIE/LUKE
Series 3 AU.
The bars separating them were cold to the touch. His hands closed around hers, locking hers on the cold steel. '
“I’m sorry, Ellie.”
She silently shook her head, unable to keep back the tears. “It’s not fair,” she said finally, her voice shaking.
Luke lowered his head. “It is. I’m paying for my sins, Ellie. I did everything I was accused of.”
“But…” Ellie’s voice came out like a sob, and she had to take a few deep breaths before she could continue. “You’ve changed! You helped bring them down, Luke. They can’t do this to you!”
He removed his hands and took a hold of her wrists to pull her closer, as close as the bars would allow. She grabbed hold of his jacket, just to hold on to something.
“You’re better of without me,” he said softly.
“No, I’m not.” She shook her head. “I love you.”
“I love you to.”
The kiss was awkward, their faces pressing against the bars. It would probably be comical if it wasn’t so serious, so final.
“Promise me you won’t be here,” he said when they broke apart. Their faces were still so close she could feel his warm breath on her skin. “I don’t want you to see.”
She felt like a coward, but she nodded. She just couldn’t take it, she couldn’t be there. She couldn’t watch the city execute the man she loved. She pulled him closer, tugging on the front of his shirt, for another kiss. The very last one. This time she moved away when it ended, walking backwards as far she could, drinking in the last sight of him until she had to turn around. As she passed Lex, standing guard by the cage, he couldn’t look her in the eyes. She didn’t care. She wanted away from this, all of it; the city, the Mallrats. It wasn’t her home anymore.
8. BRADY/TRUDY
Set post-s5.
Brady is six the first time Trudy realises the long-term effects the early years have had on her little girl. It’s a drawing, a monster in the shape of a man but with every feature distorted into something that almost looks comical. It’s the long white hair and white robes that causes concern. Trudy freaks out, wants to know why and how and where she got that image from. She scares Brady, makes her own daughter cry. She spends the rest of the day apologising, and the rest of the week spoiling her girl out of guilt. For a while Trudy scrutinises every single drawing her daughter makes, but she sees no more signs of her own monsters.
Brady is eight when the nightmares come. When it’s gone on for two weeks Trudy starts getting really desperate. Her little girl wakes up every night screaming, never gets a good nights sleep. It’s affecting her. She’s moody, closes off from the other kids around. Ellie starts the research, quickly joined by Trudy and Salene in pouring over books and CDs and discs found in the dusty and worn down city library. They start using terms like “repressed childhood trauma” and rehearse how to speak to the girl about her bad dreams. Salene digs up an article on a cd that makes her conclude that the one drawing from a couple years ago might have been Brady’s way of dealing. So Brady is told to draw what she sees in her nightmares. She draws half-men/half-monsters in robes, and black creatures with metal faces (the latter making Jay go pale and disappear to his room the rest of the day). Trudy encourages her girl during the day, and cries herself to sleep at night while she waits to be woken up by her daughter’s screams.
May swears it has to be the kids at school, that they tell ghost stories of the Chosen and Technos. She doesn’t buy the “psychology crap”, as she puts it. Salene puts both theories together and claims Brady hearing those stories lead to pent up memories being released and turned into nightmares. Trudy doesn’t know what to think. But she has never missed her mother more. She always knew how to still Trudy’s nightmares, make everything seem better again. When the night comes she just tries to follow her mother’s example. She’s so alert to it now, again, the sound of her daughter screaming and crying like when she was a baby, that she’s awake almost before it starts. Then she holds her little girl close, sings softly to her and tries not to cry herself, until Brady falls asleep again. Most nights end with Trudy falling asleep next to her, holding her daughter in her arms.
9. MAY/SALENE
Post series 5
Salene lies still in her bed. May’s body is soft and warm against hers. Salene knows its wrong; she doesn’t love her. Not like that anyway. But May is there, she’s warm and she’s safe. And she cares, she cares about Salene more than anyone else. She’s the only person who does. Everyone else seems to have someone. Even Trudy, or maybe especially Trudy. Because Salene still feels that pang sometimes when she looks at Trudy and Brady smiling and laughing together, or when Amber walks around with her boy in one arm and the other hand always busy with something. She wonders, she always wonders, what it would have been like if she had her own. But that’s a thought that hurts, that makes her want a drink.
May knows her too well now, picks up on her moods and then she’s there. Distracts her from those thoughts, gives her something else to think about. At first she had done it with conversation and tasks - teach Lottie and Sammy how to read, redecorate May’s bedroom, help Gel with someone’s make-over, making bread for breakfast, make pepperoni pizza for dinner with Trudy. It was amazing the many things May could think of for Salene to do when she dropped into one of her moods.
Now May uses kisses and roaming hands. That first kiss back at the mall had been so insignificant and tame in comparison. An accident. The second kiss had been Salene’s fault. Or her initiative might be a better way to phrase it. It had been a mistake but it didn’t feel that way when it happened, nor did the rest of it, not in the moment. It always felt right in the moment, to be wanted like that. Since then May had taken charge, and Salene let her. It was when May drifted off to sleep at night that Salene was restless and scared and lonely again. May slept peacefully now, a smile on her lips. It made Salene’s stomach churn to know it was her responsibility, that she put that smile there. Because she knew perfectly well that it wouldn’t last.
10. LEX/SALENE
Post-s5. This is a rewritten flashback scene from the Next Generation fanfic I was working on, but since I've put that whole thing on hold I decided to use it for this project.
It had just been something between friends the first time they slept together, a source of comfort and nothing else. They hadn’t found Tai-San or Cloe. Patsy was still dead, so were Zandra and Siva and Pride. And Ryan… Ryan was still missing to. On top of that the baby boom hitting the tribe made them both jealous of what they almost had, now that several stomachs were growing in size and Brady and little Bray were everywhere they looked. It made them both want a drink stronger than hot tea come nightfall, when darkness crept in and left them lonely.
They had sat there with their separate cups of tea, eyes meeting across the small table, both of them knowing what the other craved to forget their pain. Everyone else was asleep, only the two of them had trouble sleeping. Salene had of course been the one who burst into tears. Lex moved closer and let her cry on his shoulder. When the opportunity came, he kissed her, never one to let something like that pass him by. Salene knew it was crazy of her to go along with it, but she still did. Was it so bad to want something uncomplicated? Just for one night be able to feel something other than numbing pain? So she gave into the kiss, and let him lead her back to his room.