"You are inferior to me, but I won't actually say that to your face."
In my last post I mentioned I had something serious to post about, and this would be it. For those of you follow me on Facebook, or read my husband's livejournal, you've seen (some) of this.
It's time to confess.... I haven't seen a dentist in a long time.... like a decade. That's not good. I hate going to the dentist, I have always hated going to the dentist. My last job didn't have dental insurance. I couldn't understand the dental insurance at my current job. (It is actually easy when someone explains it in person, but the paperwork makes it look like if I haven't seen a dentist recently I don't have dental insurance). About 6 weeks ago, someone explained the dental insurance. The (low key) search was on for a dentist. About two weeks ago I had some mild pain, then a sudden pain, and then a strange feeling in my mouth. What seems to have happend is that one of my front teeth was crowding the one next to it, and slipped behind. What if feels like is that there is a hole in my teeth. I needed a dentist, and so I asked at work from a colleague who is on the same insurance plan as me. He recommended his dentist. I made an appointment for me (and for my husband who's absence with dentists is longer than mine). All good.
Normally before using a new company I do a bit of a check out to make sure that the money I'm paying to the company is not going straight into the pockets of massively anti-gay groups like NOM or Focus on the Family. On a quick cursory glance, and the doctor cleared. The night before my appointment with Dr. Chad Anderson DDS, I double checked the website for the location, and looked at the Doctor's bio a bit more. In the list of professional groups he listed the Christian Medical Association. I had a strange ticking in the back of my mind that I heard that name before. A quick goole search later I found the website (which is in all honesty very badly coded). I read some of their position papers. I was shocked. They were much worse than my memory of them. The paper that particularly upset me was this one. (Jim also located one of their amicus briefs which shows lots of anti-gay animus). For those without the stomach to read the ethics statement, it says in short homosexuals spend time recruiting young folks into homosexuality, and the marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples must be vigorously opposed.
When I made my appointment, I also made one for my husband. So there was no doubt about us being part of a same-sex married couple. The lady who I talked to was happy to take our appointment. After reading the website I wanted to call immediately and cancel the appointments, but I decided that it is possible the doctor had another reason for being part of the CMA and didn't agree with their statement on homosexuality.
I waited until they opened in the morning and called them. Unfortunately they didn't answer. I left a message detailing how when I discovered the Christian Medical Association's views on me, I was not comfortable using Dr. Anderson to recommend medical treatment to me. I received a call back from the office a few minutes later. I had hoped that they would tell me that those views did not reflect the views of Dr. Andersen. Instead, the message I received was that they wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable. Somehow the woman who called couldn't understand why I would feel uncomfortable with someone who thought those things of me is not someone I want advising me on my medical well-being.
Here's the thing... I'm not calling for a boycott, I think its fine that this doctor believes these things (I won't let him treat me, but there are plenty who would). But I really wish he would just put proudly on his website "I don't think Homos are equal to real folks like me" In fresno that would probably earn him as many patients as it would drive away. In california, we have anti-discrimination laws that says companies can't say "No Homos Please," but I wish we didn't. I'd like to know who doesn't want my business,..... Except as is obvious, they do want my business -- They want my money. That haven't stopped to consider that when my husband and I are divorced (as CMA would like to do), my husband will no longer have insurance, and then they will lose the customer anyway.
And by switching to a new dentist now I don't have to have the constant nagging question in my mind: "Would the doctor give me this advice if I was straight?" I don't know if Dr. Anderson has the same beliefs as the organization to which he belongs. I don't know if he is professional enough to separate his bias from his professional medical opinion. But I'm not willing to be a test case. I don't want to be in a position where I don't fully trust my medical advisors.
This is the sort of thing Dr. Anderson will probably never experience. This is the sort of thing I hope those he cares about don't have to go through. I wish there was a way to get people like Dr. Anderson (assuming he subscribes to the views of the CMA) to actually see the world through the eyes and experiences of those he wishes were less equal than him. Actually they wish gay men and women in relationships didn't exist -- which is probably far more insidious.
I can't make him see. And most people I have met like him, have no wish to. There are some I'm related to who probably fully agree with everything the CMA says -- I can't change that. But you can make darn sure they don't make medical decisions for me.
If they did, I couldn't sleep at night.
It's time to confess.... I haven't seen a dentist in a long time.... like a decade. That's not good. I hate going to the dentist, I have always hated going to the dentist. My last job didn't have dental insurance. I couldn't understand the dental insurance at my current job. (It is actually easy when someone explains it in person, but the paperwork makes it look like if I haven't seen a dentist recently I don't have dental insurance). About 6 weeks ago, someone explained the dental insurance. The (low key) search was on for a dentist. About two weeks ago I had some mild pain, then a sudden pain, and then a strange feeling in my mouth. What seems to have happend is that one of my front teeth was crowding the one next to it, and slipped behind. What if feels like is that there is a hole in my teeth. I needed a dentist, and so I asked at work from a colleague who is on the same insurance plan as me. He recommended his dentist. I made an appointment for me (and for my husband who's absence with dentists is longer than mine). All good.
Normally before using a new company I do a bit of a check out to make sure that the money I'm paying to the company is not going straight into the pockets of massively anti-gay groups like NOM or Focus on the Family. On a quick cursory glance, and the doctor cleared. The night before my appointment with Dr. Chad Anderson DDS, I double checked the website for the location, and looked at the Doctor's bio a bit more. In the list of professional groups he listed the Christian Medical Association. I had a strange ticking in the back of my mind that I heard that name before. A quick goole search later I found the website (which is in all honesty very badly coded). I read some of their position papers. I was shocked. They were much worse than my memory of them. The paper that particularly upset me was this one. (Jim also located one of their amicus briefs which shows lots of anti-gay animus). For those without the stomach to read the ethics statement, it says in short homosexuals spend time recruiting young folks into homosexuality, and the marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples must be vigorously opposed.
When I made my appointment, I also made one for my husband. So there was no doubt about us being part of a same-sex married couple. The lady who I talked to was happy to take our appointment. After reading the website I wanted to call immediately and cancel the appointments, but I decided that it is possible the doctor had another reason for being part of the CMA and didn't agree with their statement on homosexuality.
I waited until they opened in the morning and called them. Unfortunately they didn't answer. I left a message detailing how when I discovered the Christian Medical Association's views on me, I was not comfortable using Dr. Anderson to recommend medical treatment to me. I received a call back from the office a few minutes later. I had hoped that they would tell me that those views did not reflect the views of Dr. Andersen. Instead, the message I received was that they wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable. Somehow the woman who called couldn't understand why I would feel uncomfortable with someone who thought those things of me is not someone I want advising me on my medical well-being.
Here's the thing... I'm not calling for a boycott, I think its fine that this doctor believes these things (I won't let him treat me, but there are plenty who would). But I really wish he would just put proudly on his website "I don't think Homos are equal to real folks like me" In fresno that would probably earn him as many patients as it would drive away. In california, we have anti-discrimination laws that says companies can't say "No Homos Please," but I wish we didn't. I'd like to know who doesn't want my business,..... Except as is obvious, they do want my business -- They want my money. That haven't stopped to consider that when my husband and I are divorced (as CMA would like to do), my husband will no longer have insurance, and then they will lose the customer anyway.
And by switching to a new dentist now I don't have to have the constant nagging question in my mind: "Would the doctor give me this advice if I was straight?" I don't know if Dr. Anderson has the same beliefs as the organization to which he belongs. I don't know if he is professional enough to separate his bias from his professional medical opinion. But I'm not willing to be a test case. I don't want to be in a position where I don't fully trust my medical advisors.
This is the sort of thing Dr. Anderson will probably never experience. This is the sort of thing I hope those he cares about don't have to go through. I wish there was a way to get people like Dr. Anderson (assuming he subscribes to the views of the CMA) to actually see the world through the eyes and experiences of those he wishes were less equal than him. Actually they wish gay men and women in relationships didn't exist -- which is probably far more insidious.
I can't make him see. And most people I have met like him, have no wish to. There are some I'm related to who probably fully agree with everything the CMA says -- I can't change that. But you can make darn sure they don't make medical decisions for me.
If they did, I couldn't sleep at night.