Why Americans of faith should support marriage equality.
Yes, you read the headline properly. No I am not advocating that all American churches/synagogs/mosques etc. support gay and lesbian (etc.) relationships in their religious life (but that might be nice).
OK, now before you get too huffy about what in heck I'm talking about, let's follow the argument.
In America we believe in the freedom of religion. I get to be a protestant, my neighbor can be a devout Catholic, my good friends be from various Jewish traditions, and some of my students can follow Islam. And this is good. Our only test to what religions should be allowed involves one religion trampling on individual rights of others. If you believe in forced marriages of underage people -- your religion is not allowed. If you religion excommunicates divorcees -- that is allowed. If you religion involves stealing other's property -- your religion is not allowed. If your religion states that followers may only marry other followers -- your religion is allowed. So long as you aren't trampling on others, you win! The government can't tell you what to believe so long as your beliefs don't impinge on the liberty and freedoms of others.
In other words: Freedom of religion means I get to practice my religion so long as it doesn't hurt you, and you get to practice yours so long as it doesn't hurt me.
At some point in our history, our government said, "Hey family units are a good thing. We understand that and want to help them behave responsibly -- we need a term.... Hey the religion folks have a term for the founding of a family unit, they call it marriage. We will use that term too." Hence civil marriage was born. It is why one must get a marriage license from the state if one wants access to those benefits. In fact during less enlightened times, when states thought inter-racial marriages were a bad thing, they passed laws that said the ministers could not perform a marriage (even a religious one) without a valid state marriage license. Thankfully, those laws barring inter-racial marriage have been removed, but many states (California included), have not removed those laws that bar clergy from performing a religious marriage ceremony without the state's blessing.
And now we begin to see the problem. Some religions not only accept gays and lesbians as equals, they want to celebrate their marriages. And so long as everyone involved in the getting married is a legal adult who is not forced into the marriage in any way, freedom of religion says "Yes." But we have these pesky laws on the books that say "Not without a license you don't!" And there are many religions that think this is a good thing. But those religions that want to celebrate marriages now have the government saying "We don't care about freedom of religion, you can't do this." And many religions are publicly saying that this is a good thing.
I ask these religions what happens when a part of your doctrine becomes distasteful to the government? By opposing marriage equality, you are essentially saying the government dictates what religious ceremonies churches do to whom -- AND YOU ARE OK WITH THAT! If the government decides infant baptism is abuse (risk of drowning an all that), is that right? Judaism is fine so long as they worship Jesus Christ... is that right? Seventh Day Adventists can believe that Saturday is the Sabbath, so long as they worship on Sunday like everyone else-- get the idea?
I agree that the government shouldn't have appropriated the word marriage from the religious institutions. I believe that they shouldn't have deputized the clergy into registrars of family units. But I also believe that neither the government or the citizens want to come up with a new term for founding families units other than marriage.
Some have argued that letting same-sex couples marry will lead to all sorts of awful things like men marrying dogs, women marrying children etc. I want to point out that dogs are not consenting adults, any more than children are, so let's not be silly. Some have also argued that if marriage equality happens, their religion of choice will be forced to marry the same sex people. No. Most priests will refuse to officiate a Jewish couple's wedding, and no court in this land will stop them. Some say that if equality is allowed, religious institutions that claim that homosexuality is wrong will be thrown in prison. Yet they forget that the KKK is allowed to exist, and to march and to preach their brand of hatred.
Americans of faith need to remember that they are both people of faith, and Americans. Living in the land of the free is tricky business. It is called the home of the brave because we, as Americans, must face many horrible ideas everyday. I must hear the anti-immigrant rhetoric screamed on street corners. I must face the missionaries trying to convert me as I walk to get fast food at lunch time. Living in freedom means allowing others to be as free as we wish to be.
If the government continues to be allowed to force specific theology on religious institutions, their message will expand. I don't know what will be next, but people of faith need to keep the government out of religion. We have to support other religions' right to beliefs and practices that are different than ours, to protect our own right to believe.
OK, now before you get too huffy about what in heck I'm talking about, let's follow the argument.
In America we believe in the freedom of religion. I get to be a protestant, my neighbor can be a devout Catholic, my good friends be from various Jewish traditions, and some of my students can follow Islam. And this is good. Our only test to what religions should be allowed involves one religion trampling on individual rights of others. If you believe in forced marriages of underage people -- your religion is not allowed. If you religion excommunicates divorcees -- that is allowed. If you religion involves stealing other's property -- your religion is not allowed. If your religion states that followers may only marry other followers -- your religion is allowed. So long as you aren't trampling on others, you win! The government can't tell you what to believe so long as your beliefs don't impinge on the liberty and freedoms of others.
In other words: Freedom of religion means I get to practice my religion so long as it doesn't hurt you, and you get to practice yours so long as it doesn't hurt me.
At some point in our history, our government said, "Hey family units are a good thing. We understand that and want to help them behave responsibly -- we need a term.... Hey the religion folks have a term for the founding of a family unit, they call it marriage. We will use that term too." Hence civil marriage was born. It is why one must get a marriage license from the state if one wants access to those benefits. In fact during less enlightened times, when states thought inter-racial marriages were a bad thing, they passed laws that said the ministers could not perform a marriage (even a religious one) without a valid state marriage license. Thankfully, those laws barring inter-racial marriage have been removed, but many states (California included), have not removed those laws that bar clergy from performing a religious marriage ceremony without the state's blessing.
And now we begin to see the problem. Some religions not only accept gays and lesbians as equals, they want to celebrate their marriages. And so long as everyone involved in the getting married is a legal adult who is not forced into the marriage in any way, freedom of religion says "Yes." But we have these pesky laws on the books that say "Not without a license you don't!" And there are many religions that think this is a good thing. But those religions that want to celebrate marriages now have the government saying "We don't care about freedom of religion, you can't do this." And many religions are publicly saying that this is a good thing.
I ask these religions what happens when a part of your doctrine becomes distasteful to the government? By opposing marriage equality, you are essentially saying the government dictates what religious ceremonies churches do to whom -- AND YOU ARE OK WITH THAT! If the government decides infant baptism is abuse (risk of drowning an all that), is that right? Judaism is fine so long as they worship Jesus Christ... is that right? Seventh Day Adventists can believe that Saturday is the Sabbath, so long as they worship on Sunday like everyone else-- get the idea?
I agree that the government shouldn't have appropriated the word marriage from the religious institutions. I believe that they shouldn't have deputized the clergy into registrars of family units. But I also believe that neither the government or the citizens want to come up with a new term for founding families units other than marriage.
Some have argued that letting same-sex couples marry will lead to all sorts of awful things like men marrying dogs, women marrying children etc. I want to point out that dogs are not consenting adults, any more than children are, so let's not be silly. Some have also argued that if marriage equality happens, their religion of choice will be forced to marry the same sex people. No. Most priests will refuse to officiate a Jewish couple's wedding, and no court in this land will stop them. Some say that if equality is allowed, religious institutions that claim that homosexuality is wrong will be thrown in prison. Yet they forget that the KKK is allowed to exist, and to march and to preach their brand of hatred.
Americans of faith need to remember that they are both people of faith, and Americans. Living in the land of the free is tricky business. It is called the home of the brave because we, as Americans, must face many horrible ideas everyday. I must hear the anti-immigrant rhetoric screamed on street corners. I must face the missionaries trying to convert me as I walk to get fast food at lunch time. Living in freedom means allowing others to be as free as we wish to be.
If the government continues to be allowed to force specific theology on religious institutions, their message will expand. I don't know what will be next, but people of faith need to keep the government out of religion. We have to support other religions' right to beliefs and practices that are different than ours, to protect our own right to believe.