Umm :{ Not sure what to do!
So in a sentence here are my current feelings : scared, worried, nervous, annoyed, lonely, pounding, fluttery, crazy, insane, intense, unnerved.
If that says anything it says that I don't know what to do much less what is going on. I should be studying for my two test and writing my five essays and doing my program that is due this week. Well this coming week that is. My head is pounding but I don't have an headache and I don't know what to do. I want someone to stand in front of me and tell me what to do. I'm getting tired of making my own decisions. I know that if someone were to tell me what to do though I'd probably resent it and do the opposite. I'm warm but i'm cold. I'm scared yet I'm not. I need to study but I'm not. I really like to type my stuff out but then I don't. I can't decide what is right and what is wrong and yet I don't want to be told. I tell people things but I don't tell them everything. I'm nice to everyone and yet I feel so mean. I try to help and yet I make things worse.
I think I need to go back into my hole. It seems like the only way for me to get better and do what I need to do. I'm afraid that if I go there though I'll loose touch with the people I care about. If I loose touch with them I'll be all alone again. I don't like to be alone. I don't like silence unless I'm reading. I don't like to be alone so I create situations where I never have to be and if I am I don't notice. I'll put on my favorite tv show. I'll read a book. I'll put on a movie. I'll watch the news and see poor Polar Bears dying because of global warming in Alaska.
I think about the world and the universe and I feel so small that I don't know what to do. Insignificance makes me want to give up and go away. I never will. I don't know how and I'm too lazy to find a way. So here I am wishing I had my Freddy with me to keep me safe and guard me as long as possible I mean even Teddy would be nice to have nearby. They always kept me safe when I was younger. Why can't they now. They always listen and never repeat what I say. I feel safe. Well I give up. I'll find a way. OOps too late, there it is. later.
If that says anything it says that I don't know what to do much less what is going on. I should be studying for my two test and writing my five essays and doing my program that is due this week. Well this coming week that is. My head is pounding but I don't have an headache and I don't know what to do. I want someone to stand in front of me and tell me what to do. I'm getting tired of making my own decisions. I know that if someone were to tell me what to do though I'd probably resent it and do the opposite. I'm warm but i'm cold. I'm scared yet I'm not. I need to study but I'm not. I really like to type my stuff out but then I don't. I can't decide what is right and what is wrong and yet I don't want to be told. I tell people things but I don't tell them everything. I'm nice to everyone and yet I feel so mean. I try to help and yet I make things worse.
I think I need to go back into my hole. It seems like the only way for me to get better and do what I need to do. I'm afraid that if I go there though I'll loose touch with the people I care about. If I loose touch with them I'll be all alone again. I don't like to be alone. I don't like silence unless I'm reading. I don't like to be alone so I create situations where I never have to be and if I am I don't notice. I'll put on my favorite tv show. I'll read a book. I'll put on a movie. I'll watch the news and see poor Polar Bears dying because of global warming in Alaska.
I think about the world and the universe and I feel so small that I don't know what to do. Insignificance makes me want to give up and go away. I never will. I don't know how and I'm too lazy to find a way. So here I am wishing I had my Freddy with me to keep me safe and guard me as long as possible I mean even Teddy would be nice to have nearby. They always kept me safe when I was younger. Why can't they now. They always listen and never repeat what I say. I feel safe. Well I give up. I'll find a way. OOps too late, there it is. later.