(no subject)
today really sucks. but i will start with yesterday. Jackie needs me to work open to close on sunday- that means i cant go to church. not that i want to go but jordan is home and this will be the last week he is here. Diana didnt even tell me he was here. I missed him the two sundays ago when i didnt know he was here -jennifer told me she saw him - and then the sunday after xmas i wasnt working but instead i was at the freakin mountains which was totally boring so i missed him again. Jackie told me to call him but that is a very bad idea. He isnt the kinda guy you call. he doesnt want to get to know me. rejection sucks. Cassie- your boyfriend may be moving on. thats what happens when they go to college.
today i decided to clean my room and even vaccum the floor! I was vaccuming when my gma dicides to interupt me and tell me to clean be sure and get nder my bed. I told her i already did that- which i did. and so she said i should clean my closet floor too. i told her thank you but i can handle it. Why does she insist on bugging the crap out of me? must she control eveything i do. Then she comes up and is showing me how to do it. Shes been showing me since i was 12. I know how to do it. I dont need any help.if i did i would ask. she has to be involved in everything. she needs to let go already and realize i am not 12 anymore. Then i didnt really wanna clean anymore. i dont like how she drags me down.
My "mom" is being really stupid. she bought tom something for xmas and i guess there agreement was to not get eachother any thing. well, tom and i had dinner the other night and he told me about it cuz he didnt like that diana broke the agreement. which is fine. she shouldnt have gotten him anything. then i called her yesterday to see if she wanted to help me make my winter formal dress and we talked about xmas and she said that tom was upset b/c of the gift. and the boys were mad at him too b/c he was being stupid and should just suck it up. which is also true- he could just deal with it. she wanted to get him something nice. Oh, long story short but i stupidly told her that i knew about and i guess she didnt like that and is now mad at tom for telling me. ok my point is that diana is being really stupid. thats not fair to tom that she can talk to me about whatever and tom's conversations with me should be like about the weather or the football game on last night. gosh, i feel hurt that she doesnt trust me. she shouldnt feel jealous that tom can confide in me. i am his "daughter" not his mistress. anyway. that just sounded so funny to me in my head. moving on. i know she doesnt exactly tell me secrets or feelings she has. but she expects me to tell her stuff like that. the relationship has to go both ways. she needs to see that tom needs someone to talk to. and it doesnt have to be me. it could be whoever but she cant expect him not to tell anyone about the crap she does that bugs him.
oh, and yesterday i found a bible that my gma gave me.its a special one that has songs to go with the scripture-something that a music minister would use. brought back way too many memories. i gave it to christina.
ok i have to pee. stopping now. holy crap i wrote alot. glad no one reads this. although people that read it that dont know probably think i am crazy.
today i decided to clean my room and even vaccum the floor! I was vaccuming when my gma dicides to interupt me and tell me to clean be sure and get nder my bed. I told her i already did that- which i did. and so she said i should clean my closet floor too. i told her thank you but i can handle it. Why does she insist on bugging the crap out of me? must she control eveything i do. Then she comes up and is showing me how to do it. Shes been showing me since i was 12. I know how to do it. I dont need any help.if i did i would ask. she has to be involved in everything. she needs to let go already and realize i am not 12 anymore. Then i didnt really wanna clean anymore. i dont like how she drags me down.
My "mom" is being really stupid. she bought tom something for xmas and i guess there agreement was to not get eachother any thing. well, tom and i had dinner the other night and he told me about it cuz he didnt like that diana broke the agreement. which is fine. she shouldnt have gotten him anything. then i called her yesterday to see if she wanted to help me make my winter formal dress and we talked about xmas and she said that tom was upset b/c of the gift. and the boys were mad at him too b/c he was being stupid and should just suck it up. which is also true- he could just deal with it. she wanted to get him something nice. Oh, long story short but i stupidly told her that i knew about and i guess she didnt like that and is now mad at tom for telling me. ok my point is that diana is being really stupid. thats not fair to tom that she can talk to me about whatever and tom's conversations with me should be like about the weather or the football game on last night. gosh, i feel hurt that she doesnt trust me. she shouldnt feel jealous that tom can confide in me. i am his "daughter" not his mistress. anyway. that just sounded so funny to me in my head. moving on. i know she doesnt exactly tell me secrets or feelings she has. but she expects me to tell her stuff like that. the relationship has to go both ways. she needs to see that tom needs someone to talk to. and it doesnt have to be me. it could be whoever but she cant expect him not to tell anyone about the crap she does that bugs him.
oh, and yesterday i found a bible that my gma gave me.its a special one that has songs to go with the scripture-something that a music minister would use. brought back way too many memories. i gave it to christina.
ok i have to pee. stopping now. holy crap i wrote alot. glad no one reads this. although people that read it that dont know probably think i am crazy.