1+1 = 2
1. Earlier this week I was coming home on a peak hour tram when something very strange happened. The tram was packed with people and S and I made our way to the back of the tram. We stood by the back door (which wasn't open as it was on the wrong side of the tram). The tram doors had closed and the tram started moving up Collins Street, when this crusty looking old guy got up and moved right in front of us. We were idly chatting and minding our own business. The crusty old man said out loud, "Are you a lesbian?" Many thoughts ran through my head, but the first and loudest was around my safety. There were a number of large traditional looking guys between me and the door, and I wasn't sure how they would take me saying that I was gay (Southern US up-bringing won't ever leave me - A question such as his could be followed by gun-shots where I'm from). The second thought that went through my head was that this guy couldn't have possibly asked me that question on a packed peak hour tram. So I said back to him, "What?" He then asked again, "Are you a lesbian?" Louder this time in case the people at the front of the tram didn't hear. I felt fear. I was hot and sweat dripped down my back. I said, "No, are you?" S has melted into the back of the tram. He said, "I'm male. I can't be a lesbian. Lesbian's are when two women are with each other physically and sexually." He said more, but I don't remember it. At the end of his little speech, I said, "Oh." I looked at no-one on the tram. As much as I wanted to get off and (get a drink, dissolve into the bush, go for a run, or do anything except stay on that tram), I stayed on until my stop. In retrospect there are many things I could have said to the guy, buy I really wanted the whole thing over.
1. I dropped S off at the airport and I have a week to keep myself entertained. After a few quick errands, I found myself in Richmond so I decided to go look in the D'vice toy shop. I walked in briefly looked at the lesbian behind the counter and walked to the back of the store. The best stuff is always in the back. She followed me. I picked up butt plug and she quickly handed me an unwrapped one and said, "Feel this. Just the right firm-ness...it feels really good in." Me, "yeah cool." She hands me a dildo, "Feel this. Our products are all silicon......" I was so amused. She asked me if I needed a harness. "No thanks, I have one." "Well, you should check ours out. It looks really good on [yes she did proceed to put it on herself over her pants of course]." Me - "I prefer one with a detachable cock ring - so I can put little or big things in and its easier to clean." She found me one. Her - "It's got really great control, you should try it. I like mine really tight, so if you're like me - you'd probably be a small. Here" I found myself trying on a harness that I don't really need and her kneeling in front of me about to buckle me up. Me - "Um, I can do that" Her - "Yeah, cool." She was right, it was pretty nice - and my harness is kind of old and gross - OK, I'll buy it. Her- "You've got a little extra room if your girlfriend is bigger than you and [I'll leave this part out as it gets a bit personal, but the main point here is that she worked out that I have a girlfriend who had left the country for a week]. "Oh and you gotta see this." She showed me some vibrating gadget that fits over a dildo and makes an ordinary strap-on into a vibrating strap-on. It is a little Star Wars, but I was having fun - so I thought I would give it a go. Literally, I was just about to put the buzzy thing down there when I thought, whoa - this isn't right. So, I put it against my hand and she suggested to try it on my stomach. I am such a consumer when it comes to this stuff, so I said, "What the hell, I'll take one." We're at the register when she asked me if I had read some strap-on book. I almost made a comment like, I've been doing it for 10 years - do I really need a book, but decided to let her tell me about it. She suggested it had a lot of info, positions, suggestions to make things more interesting and was written by some super butch chick from SF. She told me if I got the book, I'd be back to buy ankle bindings in a few weeks. She guaranteed it. The ankle bindings position was awesome. Ok, I bought the book too. I had to - she was really cool and helpful. On my way out, she asked, "When's your girlfriend back?" Me - "In a week". Her - "She's gonna love you." S - if you read this - I have a few other surprises for you ;)
After the first incident, which I told a friend at work about, she asked me if it bothered me that people could look at me and tell I was gay. My response was, No - if it did, I wouldn't look this way. After the second incident, I'm very happy people can look at me and tell.
1. I dropped S off at the airport and I have a week to keep myself entertained. After a few quick errands, I found myself in Richmond so I decided to go look in the D'vice toy shop. I walked in briefly looked at the lesbian behind the counter and walked to the back of the store. The best stuff is always in the back. She followed me. I picked up butt plug and she quickly handed me an unwrapped one and said, "Feel this. Just the right firm-ness...it feels really good in." Me, "yeah cool." She hands me a dildo, "Feel this. Our products are all silicon......" I was so amused. She asked me if I needed a harness. "No thanks, I have one." "Well, you should check ours out. It looks really good on [yes she did proceed to put it on herself over her pants of course]." Me - "I prefer one with a detachable cock ring - so I can put little or big things in and its easier to clean." She found me one. Her - "It's got really great control, you should try it. I like mine really tight, so if you're like me - you'd probably be a small. Here" I found myself trying on a harness that I don't really need and her kneeling in front of me about to buckle me up. Me - "Um, I can do that" Her - "Yeah, cool." She was right, it was pretty nice - and my harness is kind of old and gross - OK, I'll buy it. Her- "You've got a little extra room if your girlfriend is bigger than you and [I'll leave this part out as it gets a bit personal, but the main point here is that she worked out that I have a girlfriend who had left the country for a week]. "Oh and you gotta see this." She showed me some vibrating gadget that fits over a dildo and makes an ordinary strap-on into a vibrating strap-on. It is a little Star Wars, but I was having fun - so I thought I would give it a go. Literally, I was just about to put the buzzy thing down there when I thought, whoa - this isn't right. So, I put it against my hand and she suggested to try it on my stomach. I am such a consumer when it comes to this stuff, so I said, "What the hell, I'll take one." We're at the register when she asked me if I had read some strap-on book. I almost made a comment like, I've been doing it for 10 years - do I really need a book, but decided to let her tell me about it. She suggested it had a lot of info, positions, suggestions to make things more interesting and was written by some super butch chick from SF. She told me if I got the book, I'd be back to buy ankle bindings in a few weeks. She guaranteed it. The ankle bindings position was awesome. Ok, I bought the book too. I had to - she was really cool and helpful. On my way out, she asked, "When's your girlfriend back?" Me - "In a week". Her - "She's gonna love you." S - if you read this - I have a few other surprises for you ;)
After the first incident, which I told a friend at work about, she asked me if it bothered me that people could look at me and tell I was gay. My response was, No - if it did, I wouldn't look this way. After the second incident, I'm very happy people can look at me and tell.