I wonder...
I'm not worried and it's not going to change anything... but i simply wonder:
If i made very religious journal entries... would the people who read them start to think differently of me? would they fit me in some little box titled "radical catholic" or something? would they think less or more of me? Would they judge the Church and Her teachings based on what I say or if I make a mistake... would someone link it to the Church?
i dunno. i just wonder. i mean... i'm falling away from the whole lj thing anyway... but every once and a while i do enjoy making my own posts. So if i made them and said what i wanted to say (normally involving some new experience, or boy, or something about my faith) it would suck if people commented in some attack.
It sucks when you know that you're making decisions that will seriously lead you straight into persecution. I've been tested. And that's back when i didn't know as much about the Church as I do now. So NOW? It's harder. And it hurts more. I truly love my life and the state that it's in right now. But i can't get it out of my mind that it's a different life. And that I know that seperates me from many people.
But truly? I still choose this over anything else.
Okay. Well anyway. Life is amazing. I'm going on a date on Wednesday and I'm more excited about it than I've ever been about a date. I'm excited because he's a very devout Catholic guy and he's so sweet and protecting and everything. I don't want to set myself up and then things not work out... but i'm excited. That's all i'm saying. If nothing else, he's an amazing guy to have as a friend. As of now though... I'm hoping things go extremely well. :) yay!
Though this summer I havn't been seeing my friends a whole lot... I don't feel less connected to them. I still love them and I know that they still love me and that's beautiful to me. I don't need to be affirmed in my friendships. I trust that even though we don't get the chance to see each other, we still care very much about each other. My friends rock and I'm happy that I've left High School with a relatively clean conscience and a hand-full of amazing friends. That's more than I could have asked for.
I got all my dorm stuff!!! I'm STOKED! Yes... stoked. Weird word... but fun for some reason... i dunno. lol. so anyway... i did just about all of my dorm room shopping stuff today with my abuela and mom. I love my comforter... but i'm pretty sure that a billion have been sold because it was a highly publicized comforter... but wutevr. lol. i've always had a thing for blues. I'm glad I accomplished that today though. Plus, I got to spend quality time with mom and abuela. i loved it :)
I love making new friends. Seriously. AJ Castro is one of my new favorites. miss Cassandra has grown even closer to my heart. Dan is still a very good friend of mine. My brother and I have grown so close to each other, it's insane. I dished out all about Chris and was all giddy and he teased me and it was beautiful. lol. I miss being able to do that stuff with him. I treasure my brother. I truly do. He's done some amazing things in my life and he's taught me more than I was willing to allow a while back. I love him. Through the fights and struggles and pathetic jokes we tell... he's my brother and I have never felt so much love for him as I do now. The retreat did wonders for us as brother and sister. Just getting away and being with him for a weekend. I can't even explain. He's one of my favs :)
So anyway, a lot has changed. But i've never been happier. One thing that has not changed is my love. I still have the biggest capacity for love and if anything, it's only grown over the past couple of months. I still adore my old friends and I welcome more to come. My wording sucks right now because it's almost 3 in the morning and i'm dead tired and looking forward to a 9 hour work shift... but i said what i felt like saying. So goodnight everyone. If you read all of this... I commend you. If not... i totally understand. haha.
If i made very religious journal entries... would the people who read them start to think differently of me? would they fit me in some little box titled "radical catholic" or something? would they think less or more of me? Would they judge the Church and Her teachings based on what I say or if I make a mistake... would someone link it to the Church?
i dunno. i just wonder. i mean... i'm falling away from the whole lj thing anyway... but every once and a while i do enjoy making my own posts. So if i made them and said what i wanted to say (normally involving some new experience, or boy, or something about my faith) it would suck if people commented in some attack.
It sucks when you know that you're making decisions that will seriously lead you straight into persecution. I've been tested. And that's back when i didn't know as much about the Church as I do now. So NOW? It's harder. And it hurts more. I truly love my life and the state that it's in right now. But i can't get it out of my mind that it's a different life. And that I know that seperates me from many people.
But truly? I still choose this over anything else.
Okay. Well anyway. Life is amazing. I'm going on a date on Wednesday and I'm more excited about it than I've ever been about a date. I'm excited because he's a very devout Catholic guy and he's so sweet and protecting and everything. I don't want to set myself up and then things not work out... but i'm excited. That's all i'm saying. If nothing else, he's an amazing guy to have as a friend. As of now though... I'm hoping things go extremely well. :) yay!
Though this summer I havn't been seeing my friends a whole lot... I don't feel less connected to them. I still love them and I know that they still love me and that's beautiful to me. I don't need to be affirmed in my friendships. I trust that even though we don't get the chance to see each other, we still care very much about each other. My friends rock and I'm happy that I've left High School with a relatively clean conscience and a hand-full of amazing friends. That's more than I could have asked for.
I got all my dorm stuff!!! I'm STOKED! Yes... stoked. Weird word... but fun for some reason... i dunno. lol. so anyway... i did just about all of my dorm room shopping stuff today with my abuela and mom. I love my comforter... but i'm pretty sure that a billion have been sold because it was a highly publicized comforter... but wutevr. lol. i've always had a thing for blues. I'm glad I accomplished that today though. Plus, I got to spend quality time with mom and abuela. i loved it :)
I love making new friends. Seriously. AJ Castro is one of my new favorites. miss Cassandra has grown even closer to my heart. Dan is still a very good friend of mine. My brother and I have grown so close to each other, it's insane. I dished out all about Chris and was all giddy and he teased me and it was beautiful. lol. I miss being able to do that stuff with him. I treasure my brother. I truly do. He's done some amazing things in my life and he's taught me more than I was willing to allow a while back. I love him. Through the fights and struggles and pathetic jokes we tell... he's my brother and I have never felt so much love for him as I do now. The retreat did wonders for us as brother and sister. Just getting away and being with him for a weekend. I can't even explain. He's one of my favs :)
So anyway, a lot has changed. But i've never been happier. One thing that has not changed is my love. I still have the biggest capacity for love and if anything, it's only grown over the past couple of months. I still adore my old friends and I welcome more to come. My wording sucks right now because it's almost 3 in the morning and i'm dead tired and looking forward to a 9 hour work shift... but i said what i felt like saying. So goodnight everyone. If you read all of this... I commend you. If not... i totally understand. haha.