Where is my life?

[crazyteen223]

Where does life go? I am currently attending IUPUI, and the semester is almost over. I still do not have internet at the new house, but I do have a new power cord. I am going to be 21 soon, this coming Monday actually. I am really excited for it, except I wish Steph was here to celebrate with me. I miss that girl like crazy. I am going to fly down to Virgina on Thursday the 16th and Garrett is going to pick me up, then Friday we are driving down to Asheville to spend the weekend with Mere, Andrew, and Kat. Next to Steph, these people are my family. I can't wait to see them and have soo much fun. I really don't know what I would do without them, especially with all the shit that went down with Lauren. Things haven't gotten better between the two of us, and she and her girlfriend deleted me from facebook and myspace and stuff. The night that happened, I had some to drink before that, and I just broke down in front of Mickey. I did, it just hurt so bad knowing that someone I was so close to, wants nothing to do with me and won't even tell me why. This was awhile ago, so I'm better, but every once in awhile I something will just horribly remind me of her and I just feel some of that pain. I still care about her a lot, and I wish things were different, but I am moving on from it. I'm trying my best to burn that bridge. I don't know what is going to happen, since we both are bride's maids for our friend, Casey's wedding, and I plan on going to SAPC for my spring break next year, which she will be at. So, I don't know what will happen. I don't do well with losing people I care about, because I know what it feels like to see one person one day, and the next, find out they passed away. I hate being in fights with people, and this was killing me. All I know is I tried everything in my power to fix the things I did, but I guess it just wasn't good enough. I'm not going to wait around for anything, because honestly, I don't think she will ever try to be my friend again. I can't hold my breath for that, and just realize that everything she promised me, and the things she wouldn't do, she did. So I am just working on moving forward. Other than that aspect of my life, things aren't so bad. I am liking school, and meeting people slowly but surely. My geology lab is so funny, and I love the people there. We have fun in that class. My professors are all pretty amazing, and I think I am going to change my major to criminal justice. I love this class I am in, and I think I can be good at it. I know I don't want to be a police officer, but I know there are other fields I can get into. I'm just excited for my future. I wish I could forget some of my past, but I can't. Garrett and I are back to our awesome friendship for sure, and he is coming up for the race this May, which I am stoked about. I am overall pretty happy. I have my sad days, and I just try and get through them, and I miss a TON of people, but I am doing well. I am living life for myself and no one else. I'm not as scared of what people think, and I am doing my own thing. I am so ready to celebrate my 21st birthday and just let loose. I am so lucky to have all of my friends, and they just make everything so much better. Even if they are all the way in Germany, and I barely talk to them, I know they are still there for me, and always will be. I will always be there for them, that will never change. I'm just living day to day, and preparing myself for the rest of my life. Well, I'm off to class, I will have to write more later and often. Hopefully I can get the interweb soon and maybe perhaps a car. I looove driving!

Peace, Love, and Happiness