What is the point of getting help, when you don't trust anyone around you!
Okay, well I am never really the one to share my feelings, but I feel like I am going to break soon. I can at least express myself here, and not be interupted. If you know me, or even talked to me, you have either ignored what I was saying, or interupted me while I was talking. The whole reason why I never ever told anyone my feelings is because I
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You should at least be able to complain in your journal, Sambo! Geez, I complain about stuff I don't even really feel like complaining about. Sweet release! Anyway, my clinical opinion is that you are suffering from a serious case of "middle child syndrome"... Your parents interrupted you and told you to "suck it up" and people didn't take you (or your feelings) seriously. They don't do it to be mean. It happens so often that there is a clinical term, you see! Ask my Mom. But people almost always treat the middle kid like crap. They love the kid, but for whatever mental case reason, they don't treat them like they deserve.
You get used to being interrupted and being treated a certain way and you end being treated that way by all sorts of people outside of your family, because of your inner attitude and how you expect to be treated. You have to be your biggest fan and advocate. "Wait-wait... did YOU just interrupt ME?!" The indignation has to show! Of course, you don't say that out loud... but you interrupt them back and stand up for yourself. Flip-off if you aren't going to be a good friend. Sambo needs no one. Sambo is Queen of the Universe and people are blessed that she decides to pay any attention to them at all. Sambo, Sambo, Sambo. Excuse me, but this conversation is about ME. "Oh, really? That's sad. Anyway..." You have to advocate for yourself constantly, even though most of the time it is in such small ways you don't even notice unless you pay really close attention.
Read these articles, Sambo!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14335112/
http://www.mrs.umn.edu/register/article.php?volume=14&issue=17§ion=variety&index=1
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_order
http://www.dattnerconsulting.com/presentations/birthorder.pdf#search=%22birth%20order%22
The good news is that you aren't alone in being a middle child and you aren't a weirdo! "Middle children tend to be closer to friends than to family." Hm... maybe because their families ignore them half of the time?!
Anyway, you don't need to become a nun, because the other nuns would be boring and want to talk about Jesus all day when you wanted to talk about Tom Welling! haha
You said you feel like there is more drama at college than in high school... well, that's supposed to be opposite! Maybe you would fit in better at a bigger school, with a more diverse student body? You get tired of one group, you easily go find another. GWU would be a really cool school, because its near so many other schools and D.C. is a cool place to meet people anyway. College is supposed to be more grown up and professional. That's what I hated about IU. Grow up people.
Oh, and maybe you could go to a school with a big drama department, because so many of the people in theatre are so nice and easy to get along with. In my experience anyway. You wouldn't have to major in theatre, but you could take some classes or be involved the productions and meet a lot of fun people. Schools with big music departments are good, too, because those people tend to be cooler than your average a-hole college student, too!
You could also try study abroad to get away for a bit... Hey, you are paying a lot of money, you deserve to be happy! So, if you aren't, don't feel bad about checking out other places. You could always check out University of Chicago, too. Its a really good school and close enough that you could visit people more often. Or even someplace in Europe, though that is incredibly far away...! Almost all of the Europeans I met were soooooooooo much nicer than Americans.
Part II to come after breakfast. Keep your head up, Sambo!
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