(no subject)
Ok I seriously need to vent. I can't take this anymore! I feel like shit right now. I have spent the past six monthes sick. I feel horrible and nothings working. My dad is acting like I'm not sick at all. He thinks that I must have a stressful week ahead and I am making all of this up because I can't handle. Freshmen year I had horrible headaches that nobody could explain. As a last resort I went to a therapist and the headaches stopped. Now two years later it's like I can't get sick without somebody questioning me. Just because I had anxiety issues in the past doesn't mean I still do that! My dad thinks that I am depressed and still have the anxiety issues that I had awhile ago. Yes, I admit that I get depressed once and awhile but I always pull myself out of it. I still worry about everything but I don't let it control my life anymore. Why can't he just let that go? Everytime I spend the afternoon in my room or have a headache or snap at someone he automatically assumes that I need help. Well I don't dammit. "Im just concerned, Im your father" Well he needs to get over it. As soon as I get all offensive he starts trying to make me feel guilty about snapping at him.
Now my mom on the other hand makes me feel as though it's my fault that I am always sick. Like I can control. She probably thinks that I make it up too. Its not like I spend my days sitting on my ass, eating junk food and getting fat. I take vitamins, I take all the medications they tell me too, I work out as much as I have time for. When I tell her that I'm sick or that a medication didn't work she just responds with "Well I dont know what to do anymore" and gets upset. Then I feel bad because I know that she is upset over me. That makes me feel worse. Then I eventually get pissed off like I am now.
Well I'll be damned if I deal with this anymore. Fuck it, they want me to be healthy then I will. I'm done saying anything when I'm sick. I will haul my ass to school, do my shit around the house and probably only make myself sicker. I am in such a horrible mood right now. I want to cry and kill people at the same time. Neither of those are going to happen, insead I will go hide in my room where I don't have to deal with this shit.
Now my mom on the other hand makes me feel as though it's my fault that I am always sick. Like I can control. She probably thinks that I make it up too. Its not like I spend my days sitting on my ass, eating junk food and getting fat. I take vitamins, I take all the medications they tell me too, I work out as much as I have time for. When I tell her that I'm sick or that a medication didn't work she just responds with "Well I dont know what to do anymore" and gets upset. Then I feel bad because I know that she is upset over me. That makes me feel worse. Then I eventually get pissed off like I am now.
Well I'll be damned if I deal with this anymore. Fuck it, they want me to be healthy then I will. I'm done saying anything when I'm sick. I will haul my ass to school, do my shit around the house and probably only make myself sicker. I am in such a horrible mood right now. I want to cry and kill people at the same time. Neither of those are going to happen, insead I will go hide in my room where I don't have to deal with this shit.