Good Morning beautiful!
Ok well since the last time I updated (previous to that survey thingy) bad shit happened! Samara came back, took my boyfriend, called me immature (yet she was the stupid bitch ripping up my pictures - I would never had done that sorry!) And mike and i were, in a sense, using each other. he was keeping me around so that if things between him and her didnt work out he could come back to me. I on the other hand was out for the attention, money, drinking, smoking and sex aspect! Now yes i am HIGHLY aware of the fact of how bitchy, slutty and wrong that makes me sound BUT I was only doing it with him, NO ONE ELSE and plus in the end i hated feeling like the mistress!! To tell u the truth i thought if i was like that he would realize he wanted me not her (which he kinda did) and would drop her!! But NOPE in the end i said byebye!! Thank you God!!! I finally said "mike this just WONT work out. Were using each other and getting hurt. Well atleast im getting hurt, and i dont wana hurt. We can be friends if you want, and just call me and let me know, but until then i think im gonna leave you alone! Bye mike" Thats right fokes I FINALLY did it!!!!!!!! And im so happy i did!
Truthfully this final step took place due to someone else. I met this guy, lenny, at my work Wednesday. i saw him, he saw me and we couldnt take our eyes off each other. he came back and bought socks like a half hour later....just to find out my name. He then came back 10 minutes later - to give me his number. Right before he did that, stephanie gave him the little letter with my number in it that i wrote. he called thursday while i was at mikes! It was great seeing mike so mad!! I left and went to the mall to pick up my dress. Lenny called again...well called back. We talked for an amazing 5 hours!!! Thenect morning I called mike and left the above message! Needless to say I havent talked to mike in 2 days and Lenny and I went on a date last night!!!
Ok so here it is,
He was amazing! paid for everything, let me chose, we talked for hours! We went and saw Walking tall he held me in his arms during the grosum part, and played with my "soft long and beautiful" hair. Then we went to Fridays where he made every attempt to keep my warm y rubbing my hands and holding them from across the table. We talked alot about his "parting" days, his accident that ended those days, his work, my work, my (as well as everyone elses) need to get drunk/high etc. and lots of other stuff. There were only a few quite moments and thats when we were eating, or just staring at each other (as odd as it sounds it was quite romantic! and kristen his eyes are brown) We can make ach other laugh without even saying anything, we have this same brainwave thing going on...we could emply things and the other one will get it no matter what! Then we went back to the sears parking lot and sat in my car talking , making out, talking, talking, making out, and then at 1130 (an hour and a half after leaving dinner) we were trying to leave, we both honestly were cuz i had to be home by 12 and he NEEDED to get home cuz he had to get up at 445 to go to work. but to no prevail neither one of us wanted to...we kissed, hugged tightly, he kept me warm and then out of no where - he twirls me around and we start dancing in the parking lot!!! i swear to you it was like a cinderella feeling, there was no music playing but we heard music! And it was SO incredibly romantic! he called me 5 min after leaving to tell me he already missed me!
Now i know ive said this before, and im sorry but up until then it was a lie: i have NEVER felt this way before! i had no idea cloud 9 felt this way!!! even my mom agrees this one is diffrent in a good way! hes so much more mature (hes 24..and YES he knows im 17....i told him last night after his date and said "im a little crazy about you now, youve got me hooked! I had a feeling you werent 18. So dont worry you worry to much! You make me happy, and i make u happy and thats all that matters!") and more caring and loving and has been through so much and knows so much! He has taught me everything i should have learned from all my past realtionship!!! For the first time in my life i WANT him to met my mom!! He told me about his "mom test" which is how his mom has never been wrong about a girl yet, and if you dont pass the mom test you dont really go on with lenny.....its the same with me! My mom hasnt been wrong about a guy yet, and i was always scared for her to met them (for what i thought was other reasons) but now i know it was cuz i knew they would fail!!!
Honestly i am so happy!!! And this is the first guy i have ever wanted to take it slow with! i dont want to be saying i love you or having sex within a week! And i know with him when he says i love you he means it cuz hes mature, to "old" (lol a joke between us) to be playing stupid high school games like lying about love, and he said "dont lie about love..if you dont love a person just dont say it!" Which will make when/if he does say it all that more special!!!
He called me on his way to work but i was asleep. So what did he do? He called me at 840 on his 10 min break. It felt WONDERFUL waking up to 'good morning beautiful!" ::giddy dance::
ive always been envious of my 2 best friends who had these perfect relationships with their guys, and their boyfriends parents loved them, their parents loved the boyfriend, and everyone was just happy! I realize now that i never had that cuz my guys were never good enough! Not for my family and not for me! if they were they would still be with me!! "I think i found him" all i needed was a mature, handsome, sweet and caring guy! LoL who can obviously dance =)
Well im off to enjoy my day! Having a wonderful one!!
I hope you all have a great day too!!
OH and happy birthday to Alan (kristens boyfriend) and Steve (brennas boyfriend) who will be celebrating their advancement in age tomorrow =)
later taters!! Byebye xoxox
-christine