by me saying that ur list is totally fucking lame and by me explaing why, reason by reason
1. dont tell us when you think other girls are hot: would you like us to lie? 2. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials: fuck you ill say what i want when i want, plus ill forget it if i dont. 3. if you dont act like soap-opera guys, dont expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models: i dont know what that means but fuck it anyway 4. mark anniversaries on a calendar: you mark it, why sould we? 5. there is no such thing as too much spooning: yes there is 6. we think about you all the time: we think about girls all the time, not just one, no matter what 7. this is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care: o so if your stranded without phone or anything we dont care? ha! 8. which also means that if we dont call, take the hint: fuck you if u dont call, thats fucked up 9. we like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary: fuck you for making us jealous, even a little 10. being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press: we know that, so i dont need to give a reason 11. return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave: ha! like girls do that anyway 12. foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite: fuck you and ur big words 13. we're allowed to be late . . . you are not: what?! fuck that shit, that means u think ur superior, fuck that 14. eye contact is key: eye contact is key in job interviews too, so does that mean we're always being asked questions to determine if we're good enough? 15. dont take longer to get ready than we do: omg fuck that, still thinking ur the shit huh? 16. laugh at our jokes: if theyre funny yeah sure, if they suk im not gonna fake it 17. three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty: 3 words, fuck that shit, sometimes honesty isnt the key 18. girls can be groupies. guy groupies are stalkers: ok, if u stalk me ill have u arrested for being a groupie, fair enough? 19. we never have to wonder if your orgasm was real: we dont care if urs, we got what we wanted, harharhar 20. do not start with us. you will not win: hah, bullshit, im doing just fine winning right now 21. would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? we didnt think so: i dont care because it would be her life and not mine 22. if you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way: not when its that time of the month you dont 23. we will never have enough clothes or shoes: buy them urself 24. we have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month: we have an excuse 24/7 to act bitchy, its called women, ooooooo burn
25. open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car: why do we have to wait hand and foot on you? 26. we love surprises!: really? so if i jumped out of a bush late at night with a knife and a mask on and suprised you, youd like that? 27. we liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue: uhhhh....yeaaaaahhhhh, i dont get it 28. pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most: maybe we'll pay attention if u did big things 29. boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER tighty-whities!: but they feel sooooo good 30. clean your room before we come over: fuck that shit, i never clean my room for anyone 31. always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity: eh, if i feel the need to impress then maybe i will 32. when we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor: fuck you, tell us then and dont be a bitch 33. even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are: mrah 34. hit it and quit it, because later i'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours: hahaha i bet he doesnt, oooo burn, o and it wouldnt matter to me 35. dont act hard around your friends because i wont make you hard tonight: thats fine, believe it or not we can go days, months, years without sex 36. sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!": and sometimes it means yes, so? 37. We LOVE to be held, fondled, touched.. just NOTICED: we LOVE to have our nuts held, fondled, touched...just NOTICED....hahahaha 38. if we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend: so what? you cant indulge us? 39. sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isnt right: once again, you think ur aloud to do something and we're not 40. DO NOT let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough: dont let the shit get to you and you wont have to worry, der 41. it takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays: i.e. sudden loss of memory, which we expeirience frequently 42. guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman: right, because every man has been tested and its been proven 43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too: we know, we just dont care 44. silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!: uhh maybe you should tell us without being such a bitch 45. the excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable . . . we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying: well the excuse i cant dance might mean "i dont want to be seen dancing with you" just to be nice or "i dont wnat to be seen dancing" because yes we care if people are looking, even if u dont 46. just because a girl doesnt pick up on the first ring doesnt mean shes not waiting by the phone: yeah it means shes looking to see who it is on caller ID so that if it is you, she wont answer 47. you dont have to spend a lot, if it means a lot: so girls can never have enough clothes and shoes also? cuz fuck, im pretty sure girls dont wanna go around wearing rags as clothes and boxes as shoes, even though its sposed to mean alot 48. dont say you love me if you dont mean it: half the time, guys dont know what love is so maybe what they think is love is what they are expeiriencing when in fact it is not 49. dont lie to us . . . we will catch you: haha, no you wont, never been caught lying to a girl 50. when the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you: thats fucked up and wrong, u think we tell our friends everything about girls we're going out with? maybe physical aspects but nothing else
maybe i dont speak for all men, but a good number prolly, i dun care if anyone thinks me wrong, me think me right, so me think good
48. dont say you love me if you dont mean it: half the time, guys dont know what love is so maybe what they think is love is what they are expeiriencing when in fact it is not.
I always thought it was a way to get in her pants.
by me saying that ur list is totally fucking lame and by me explaing why, reason by reason
1. dont tell us when you think other girls are hot: would you like us to lie?
2. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials: fuck you ill say what i want when i want, plus ill forget it if i dont.
3. if you dont act like soap-opera guys, dont expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models: i dont know what that means but fuck it anyway
4. mark anniversaries on a calendar: you mark it, why sould we?
5. there is no such thing as too much spooning: yes there is
6. we think about you all the time: we think about girls all the time, not just one, no matter what
7. this is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care: o so if your stranded without phone or anything we dont care? ha!
8. which also means that if we dont call, take the hint: fuck you if u dont call, thats fucked up
9. we like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary: fuck you for making us jealous, even a little
10. being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press: we know that, so i dont need to give a reason
11. return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave: ha! like girls do that anyway
12. foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite: fuck you and ur big words
13. we're allowed to be late . . . you are not: what?! fuck that shit, that means u think ur superior, fuck that
14. eye contact is key: eye contact is key in job interviews too, so does that mean we're always being asked questions to determine if we're good enough?
15. dont take longer to get ready than we do: omg fuck that, still thinking ur the shit huh?
16. laugh at our jokes: if theyre funny yeah sure, if they suk im not gonna fake it
17. three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty: 3 words, fuck that shit, sometimes honesty isnt the key
18. girls can be groupies. guy groupies are stalkers: ok, if u stalk me ill have u arrested for being a groupie, fair enough?
19. we never have to wonder if your orgasm was real: we dont care if urs, we got what we wanted, harharhar
20. do not start with us. you will not win: hah, bullshit, im doing just fine winning right now
21. would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? we didnt think so: i dont care because it would be her life and not mine
22. if you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way: not when its that time of the month you dont
23. we will never have enough clothes or shoes: buy them urself
24. we have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month: we have an excuse 24/7 to act bitchy, its called women, ooooooo burn
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25. open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car: why do we have to wait hand and foot on you?
26. we love surprises!: really? so if i jumped out of a bush late at night with a knife and a mask on and suprised you, youd like that?
27. we liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue: uhhhh....yeaaaaahhhhh, i dont get it
28. pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most: maybe we'll pay attention if u did big things
29. boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER tighty-whities!: but they feel sooooo good
30. clean your room before we come over: fuck that shit, i never clean my room for anyone
31. always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity: eh, if i feel the need to impress then maybe i will
32. when we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor: fuck you, tell us then and dont be a bitch
33. even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are: mrah
34. hit it and quit it, because later i'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours: hahaha i bet he doesnt, oooo burn, o and it wouldnt matter to me
35. dont act hard around your friends because i wont make you hard tonight: thats fine, believe it or not we can go days, months, years without sex
36. sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!": and sometimes it means yes, so?
37. We LOVE to be held, fondled, touched.. just NOTICED: we LOVE to have our nuts held, fondled, touched...just NOTICED....hahahaha
38. if we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend: so what? you cant indulge us?
39. sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isnt right: once again, you think ur aloud to do something and we're not
40. DO NOT let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough: dont let the shit get to you and you wont have to worry, der
41. it takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays: i.e. sudden loss of memory, which we expeirience frequently
42. guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman: right, because every man has been tested and its been proven
43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too: we know, we just dont care
44. silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!: uhh maybe you should tell us without being such a bitch
45. the excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable . . . we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying: well the excuse i cant dance might mean "i dont want to be seen dancing with you" just to be nice or "i dont wnat to be seen dancing" because yes we care if people are looking, even if u dont
46. just because a girl doesnt pick up on the first ring doesnt mean shes not waiting by the phone: yeah it means shes looking to see who it is on caller ID so that if it is you, she wont answer
47. you dont have to spend a lot, if it means a lot: so girls can never have enough clothes and shoes also? cuz fuck, im pretty sure girls dont wanna go around wearing rags as clothes and boxes as shoes, even though its sposed to mean alot
48. dont say you love me if you dont mean it: half the time, guys dont know what love is so maybe what they think is love is what they are expeiriencing when in fact it is not
49. dont lie to us . . . we will catch you: haha, no you wont, never been caught lying to a girl
50. when the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you: thats fucked up and wrong, u think we tell our friends everything about girls we're going out with? maybe physical aspects but nothing else
maybe i dont speak for all men, but a good number prolly, i dun care if anyone thinks me wrong, me think me right, so me think good
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that one cracked me up.
This list is just evidence of how much women fucking need to be happy.
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I always thought it was a way to get in her pants.
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