(no subject)
*It's gonna be a sappy entry, kids, so I apologize...and if I make you nauseous, you can't say you weren't forewarned.*
So it looks like I will not be going to Oregon this summer after all. Not from lack of wanting to or lack of funds...but it seems as if my parents think that this is not such a good idea. Yes, I am a momma's girl, and I do what she wants me to...but seeing as how my brother's relationship with his psycho bitch girlfriend has put strain on the family, I refuse to do the same by doing something my parents don't feel comfortable with.
Reasoning? My mom doesn't want me to appear "too eager" (I thought that was a little weird, but we were raised in very different cultures so whatever), she hasn't met Brad, and she thinks its too soon in the relationship. It goes a little deeper/further then that, but I don't really want to get into it. In any case, I thought, wow, she's totally right. I had plans to fly up there like the 3rd week of July, making our relationship about four months old (or young, whichever you choose). FOUR. Geebuz. Sometimes it seems like I've known him for so much longer and sometimes I feel like we've just started dating cause I always get the butterflies.
I was really disappointed at first, because once this idea got planted in my head, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I spent many a nights looking up flight prices, and just daydreaming about water skiing and hiking in the mountains. Looks like it won't happen. I'm not going to lie...I'm sad about it, but it's going to be okay. And to have someone tell you that they love you and want to be with you and that they'll wait months to be with you if thats what it takes, is *the* most comforting thing in the world.
*A.D.D. kicking in*
I was really frustrated a couple of nights ago because I had sacrificed a summer with my family and really good friends to be here. Not saying that I don't absolutely LOVE the house, my roommates!, my job, or my kitten, but sometimes I long to be home. And I /knew/ that I was meant to be here this summer, or anywhere else but home. I needed time to do some soul-searching, figure out what I wanted to do with my life after graduation, figure out where I wanted to be, stuff like that. But when I'm going through spurts where I'm sleeping only 2-3 hours a night, busting ass at work, and getting raped by calculus, I feel like I'm losing myself more and more in the chaos, not finding myself. I mean, I felt like, the only thing I was getting out of this summer was the knowledge of knowing that I refused to be a waitress the rest of my life. Heheh. And I hate calculus with a passion. It's weird to have a summer where I'm not out for 12 hours a time with my friends, like I normally do at home. I spend a lot of downtime by myself in the house, reading or just chillin', especially when Kat, Chrissy, and I are running completely opposite schedules, which happens often. It's weird to be anti-social...or what I consider anti-social in my book...others probably think it's just normal.
But in any case, I think it's a lesson to be learned...after I graduate, I won't have my friends around anymore and I'll have to learn to remember who I am and to be happy, even if I am alone or lonely. I'm sure there will be lots of times in my life where I will /just/ be getting comfortable in a situation, and I will be forced to leave it due to a job or something. Man, this growing up stuff is tough.
It also felt kind of refreshing talking to my parents and taking what they had to say, to heart. The old me would've said "Screw you, I'm buying the plane tickets anyways" because I never think my parents really know that much about life. Turns out, they know more then I give them credit for.
So I guess even though I'm not rolling in money made at work (since I suck at my job sometimes) or going out getting crazy every night, this summer has been worthwhile in it's own weird sort of way. Life is good.
So it looks like I will not be going to Oregon this summer after all. Not from lack of wanting to or lack of funds...but it seems as if my parents think that this is not such a good idea. Yes, I am a momma's girl, and I do what she wants me to...but seeing as how my brother's relationship with his psycho bitch girlfriend has put strain on the family, I refuse to do the same by doing something my parents don't feel comfortable with.
Reasoning? My mom doesn't want me to appear "too eager" (I thought that was a little weird, but we were raised in very different cultures so whatever), she hasn't met Brad, and she thinks its too soon in the relationship. It goes a little deeper/further then that, but I don't really want to get into it. In any case, I thought, wow, she's totally right. I had plans to fly up there like the 3rd week of July, making our relationship about four months old (or young, whichever you choose). FOUR. Geebuz. Sometimes it seems like I've known him for so much longer and sometimes I feel like we've just started dating cause I always get the butterflies.
I was really disappointed at first, because once this idea got planted in my head, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I spent many a nights looking up flight prices, and just daydreaming about water skiing and hiking in the mountains. Looks like it won't happen. I'm not going to lie...I'm sad about it, but it's going to be okay. And to have someone tell you that they love you and want to be with you and that they'll wait months to be with you if thats what it takes, is *the* most comforting thing in the world.
*A.D.D. kicking in*
I was really frustrated a couple of nights ago because I had sacrificed a summer with my family and really good friends to be here. Not saying that I don't absolutely LOVE the house, my roommates!, my job, or my kitten, but sometimes I long to be home. And I /knew/ that I was meant to be here this summer, or anywhere else but home. I needed time to do some soul-searching, figure out what I wanted to do with my life after graduation, figure out where I wanted to be, stuff like that. But when I'm going through spurts where I'm sleeping only 2-3 hours a night, busting ass at work, and getting raped by calculus, I feel like I'm losing myself more and more in the chaos, not finding myself. I mean, I felt like, the only thing I was getting out of this summer was the knowledge of knowing that I refused to be a waitress the rest of my life. Heheh. And I hate calculus with a passion. It's weird to have a summer where I'm not out for 12 hours a time with my friends, like I normally do at home. I spend a lot of downtime by myself in the house, reading or just chillin', especially when Kat, Chrissy, and I are running completely opposite schedules, which happens often. It's weird to be anti-social...or what I consider anti-social in my book...others probably think it's just normal.
But in any case, I think it's a lesson to be learned...after I graduate, I won't have my friends around anymore and I'll have to learn to remember who I am and to be happy, even if I am alone or lonely. I'm sure there will be lots of times in my life where I will /just/ be getting comfortable in a situation, and I will be forced to leave it due to a job or something. Man, this growing up stuff is tough.
It also felt kind of refreshing talking to my parents and taking what they had to say, to heart. The old me would've said "Screw you, I'm buying the plane tickets anyways" because I never think my parents really know that much about life. Turns out, they know more then I give them credit for.
So I guess even though I'm not rolling in money made at work (since I suck at my job sometimes) or going out getting crazy every night, this summer has been worthwhile in it's own weird sort of way. Life is good.