okay fuck
I know i'm pathetic when all I do is prance around on the fucking internet all day. I really had nothing important or significant to entertain myself with today, but sitting on my ass seemed readily available. I can't get over the fact that i'm still stuck on stupid shit. I should be smarter than this. I shouldn't care when it's not relavent to my nature anymore. I'm sick of hurting. I thought I was jaded, but i'm just a recovering loveaholic. I don't love him anymore. I seriously don't want him, but sometimes I wonder about his well being. That's all. I never wish him harm regardless. I just don't understand why he chooses to ignore me like we were never introduced. If this really is the person he is then fuck him. I'm too good for someone that short anyway. I hear he's leaving soon. I must confess that makes me crack a smile. Out of sight out of mind. Where is my new gentlemen? Perhaps he doesn't exist or I just don't deserve anyone anymore. If he's out there he needs to find me. I'm about to quit believing.