what has been on my chest..
so today is the day of halloween..whoa!
its cold again..this is the longest season of all..but its nice. it doesnt seem like theres only like 2 months of this year left..im going to be turning 20 in febuary...it will be a year that my last long relationship ended..it will be a beginning of new chapters and lifestyles for many.
i didnt think i would ever grow this much as a person...it is true that you learn and grow from your mistakes...i know ive made them..ive learned but i have moved on..everything changes..people change..minds change...life in general changes...
i love everyone that is in my life....every person i know has a piece of my heart...and i mean that..dont call me a liar.
there are many kinds of love...the love of a person..and a love of the person..and the combination of the two.. for some reason..theres this block about me..its hard to describe..
i dont like when i get this way at times..but for some reason i thought..hey i think im gonna post something about my life..on this blog..that people i dont know are going to read about me and think im either very emotional and deep or just crazy..either way what does it matter to you, its my thought..and if youve gotten this far to read this your interested...
i can describe it in a way that may not be understandable to many..but i know what it is...
i can be around someone and have the time of my life..cherish every moment and never stop smiling..they know everything about me..and be the kindest best person put on this earth...and i may be scared to love that person....reason being..im scared of being hurt. i know ive hurt people in the past...but the word L O V E..is such a strong passionate..appealing word....now i know i tell ppl that i love them all the time (family friends etc)....but i mean love as in being with that person for the rest of your life and growing old with them and watching both your children and grandchildren grow....that love you can picture yourself with someone years down the road with...im scared to say it to someone...when i say it i mean it...i love everybody..
dont let this offend you..
be careful with this love..this emotion..its weigthless yet strong powered beyond belief. you can break a person with this word..you can make someones world with this word..
i love kisses..hugs..and lovely smiles.
i know from experience...
Valentines day has been a day for me though that should be amazing, but is always the opposite..its so special for many...for me its kind of sad..i had a dear uncle to be put to rest that day..just seems so odd...i know i should move past it...hopefully this year around will be different...even if i have to buy my own self a small box of chocolates and a stuffed animal..jk.
but this year just flew by..i mean..wow. what happened..where did it go..time flys when your having fun i guess.
now things are going to be different...im hoping to get a much better job, pay off many bills...grow more...and have much more fun than i already am.
i mean shit..im going to be turning 20...that means...10yrs is going to go by like a blink of an eye and im going to be 30..married..kids..cute house..in love..perfect memories..20yrs..30yrs...50..oh my god...im not ready...
hold my hand when i am scared for i will not be alone...to those of you who feel this weakness you are one of many..(*me,nickole*)
no im not depressed...that i am far from..depression is the weakest feeling of life..therefore makes you a weak person....makes you sick..denile of happiness. ive seen people depressed.. they blame everything...medication wont help you...you may think so but it wont..you have to find your inner self..get with it. theres a difference of..im depressed (as in being sad for a moment in life) or depressed as in i blame the world..you..me..everything...hatred of life...that is just sad. go through your mind and think why you are this way...dont just think well theres no other options..there are..the alternative is not one..thats cheating..thats cheating yourself of good.
birthdays..holidays..spring break..summer..school..relationships..friends..hard times...life attractions...life lessons and more will be taught and learned this year...take a seat..
thank you for taking the time to read this...i just felt like getting if off of my mind..i feel better.
nickyb
its cold again..this is the longest season of all..but its nice. it doesnt seem like theres only like 2 months of this year left..im going to be turning 20 in febuary...it will be a year that my last long relationship ended..it will be a beginning of new chapters and lifestyles for many.
i didnt think i would ever grow this much as a person...it is true that you learn and grow from your mistakes...i know ive made them..ive learned but i have moved on..everything changes..people change..minds change...life in general changes...
i love everyone that is in my life....every person i know has a piece of my heart...and i mean that..dont call me a liar.
there are many kinds of love...the love of a person..and a love of the person..and the combination of the two.. for some reason..theres this block about me..its hard to describe..
i dont like when i get this way at times..but for some reason i thought..hey i think im gonna post something about my life..on this blog..that people i dont know are going to read about me and think im either very emotional and deep or just crazy..either way what does it matter to you, its my thought..and if youve gotten this far to read this your interested...
i can describe it in a way that may not be understandable to many..but i know what it is...
i can be around someone and have the time of my life..cherish every moment and never stop smiling..they know everything about me..and be the kindest best person put on this earth...and i may be scared to love that person....reason being..im scared of being hurt. i know ive hurt people in the past...but the word L O V E..is such a strong passionate..appealing word....now i know i tell ppl that i love them all the time (family friends etc)....but i mean love as in being with that person for the rest of your life and growing old with them and watching both your children and grandchildren grow....that love you can picture yourself with someone years down the road with...im scared to say it to someone...when i say it i mean it...i love everybody..
dont let this offend you..
be careful with this love..this emotion..its weigthless yet strong powered beyond belief. you can break a person with this word..you can make someones world with this word..
i love kisses..hugs..and lovely smiles.
i know from experience...
Valentines day has been a day for me though that should be amazing, but is always the opposite..its so special for many...for me its kind of sad..i had a dear uncle to be put to rest that day..just seems so odd...i know i should move past it...hopefully this year around will be different...even if i have to buy my own self a small box of chocolates and a stuffed animal..jk.
but this year just flew by..i mean..wow. what happened..where did it go..time flys when your having fun i guess.
now things are going to be different...im hoping to get a much better job, pay off many bills...grow more...and have much more fun than i already am.
i mean shit..im going to be turning 20...that means...10yrs is going to go by like a blink of an eye and im going to be 30..married..kids..cute house..in love..perfect memories..20yrs..30yrs...50..oh my god...im not ready...
hold my hand when i am scared for i will not be alone...to those of you who feel this weakness you are one of many..(*me,nickole*)
no im not depressed...that i am far from..depression is the weakest feeling of life..therefore makes you a weak person....makes you sick..denile of happiness. ive seen people depressed.. they blame everything...medication wont help you...you may think so but it wont..you have to find your inner self..get with it. theres a difference of..im depressed (as in being sad for a moment in life) or depressed as in i blame the world..you..me..everything...hatred of life...that is just sad. go through your mind and think why you are this way...dont just think well theres no other options..there are..the alternative is not one..thats cheating..thats cheating yourself of good.
birthdays..holidays..spring break..summer..school..relationships..friends..hard times...life attractions...life lessons and more will be taught and learned this year...take a seat..
thank you for taking the time to read this...i just felt like getting if off of my mind..i feel better.
nickyb