(no subject)
I'm done.
Done with trying to make everyone, including myself, happy.
It just never works.
I thought I had found this awesome guy.
Everybody warned me, LIKE EVERYTIME I HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND, but do I ever listen, fuck no. Because I'm way too fucking stubburn. I have to learn my lesson 3654364 before I never learn it. Now I'm stuck, again. Don't know what the fuck to do with my life.
Chris was perfect. Except for the fact that he smokes, ALOT, and he sells it. Then he lost his job, so now all he does ALL DAY LONG is sits at home, smokes, sleeps, smokes again, watches tv, takes a nap, smokes, eats McDonalds, smokes, takes a shit, smokes, smokes, smokes. The guy smokes close to 7-8 blunts A DAY. He now has 2 felonies on his record for possession, and so "he can't get a job". So he sits at home all day and lets his parents pay his rent and bills. Its pathetic. And because he has nothing to do all day he accuses me of cheating on him and talking to guys and he gets mad when I talk to my friends. Ugh, I could go on about complaints. But on a happier note, he would make me smile, make me laugh for days on end, buy me things and he would surprise me. But these things don't happen anymore. And I can never make my mind up on anything that I want to do, I always have a new idea. Like now, I want to move home. I'm sick of AZ and the people in it, except for a select few. I'm tired of feeling alone, having responsibilites. I'm once again thinking about goin on a cruise ship. My friend Nicole just interviewed for it and it seems pretty cool. I dunno though. Just another one of my crazy fucking ideassss. My head is POUNDING. I feel lost, and I feel like my life is out of control and I'm letting my family down. I'm coming home this week. I'll be home Sunday morning to like wednesday so that will be cool.
Meh, I hate life.
Done with trying to make everyone, including myself, happy.
It just never works.
I thought I had found this awesome guy.
Everybody warned me, LIKE EVERYTIME I HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND, but do I ever listen, fuck no. Because I'm way too fucking stubburn. I have to learn my lesson 3654364 before I never learn it. Now I'm stuck, again. Don't know what the fuck to do with my life.
Chris was perfect. Except for the fact that he smokes, ALOT, and he sells it. Then he lost his job, so now all he does ALL DAY LONG is sits at home, smokes, sleeps, smokes again, watches tv, takes a nap, smokes, eats McDonalds, smokes, takes a shit, smokes, smokes, smokes. The guy smokes close to 7-8 blunts A DAY. He now has 2 felonies on his record for possession, and so "he can't get a job". So he sits at home all day and lets his parents pay his rent and bills. Its pathetic. And because he has nothing to do all day he accuses me of cheating on him and talking to guys and he gets mad when I talk to my friends. Ugh, I could go on about complaints. But on a happier note, he would make me smile, make me laugh for days on end, buy me things and he would surprise me. But these things don't happen anymore. And I can never make my mind up on anything that I want to do, I always have a new idea. Like now, I want to move home. I'm sick of AZ and the people in it, except for a select few. I'm tired of feeling alone, having responsibilites. I'm once again thinking about goin on a cruise ship. My friend Nicole just interviewed for it and it seems pretty cool. I dunno though. Just another one of my crazy fucking ideassss. My head is POUNDING. I feel lost, and I feel like my life is out of control and I'm letting my family down. I'm coming home this week. I'll be home Sunday morning to like wednesday so that will be cool.
Meh, I hate life.