Race for the Cure for Miss Murder

Jun 19, 2006 02:05

Ok so, I am beginning to understand why people can't even keep with my life. It all came to me when I couldn't even keep up. So on Tuesday, I believe, I got into the biggest fight I think I have ever gotten into. I don't really want to get into, but it was about me kissing other guys when me and John were just dating. Yea, I keep naming off excuses, but it was wrong. So on Wednesday, I called to try and talk about things, but that blew up even more in my face. Seems to be the way life goes for me. I mean huge fight though. He got online to tell me don't bother ever try communicating with him, but then we started being ourselves. It went from "I fucking hate you" to "Maybe we can fool around sometime" to "Maybe we'll talk about things tomorrow." Then on Thursday, he got online and told me that he still loved me, but he just didn't know what to do. He understood where I was coming from, but couldn't get over it cause he thought we were commited. So we decided that we would take it day by day. Today, he requested that he is in a relationship with me on facebook, so I think everything is ok. That one day of being single, actually helped me a lot. If I didn't figure out all that stress, I probably would be dead. I figured out that I don't love Wayne and haven't since like the beginning of January. I keep talking to him, cause I think its hilarious to piss him off and because I don't deal with rejection well. In January, when everything went down. I didn't really care that we weren't together. I felt so bad for what I did that I thought I still loved him. Me taking time to get over him, wasn't me getting over him, but was me getting over what I did. Even though I didn't love him, what I did was terrible and I downgrade myself for that. What else? Oh well my dad. He still loves me, but not as much as god or Patty. He hasn't been in my life since I was 4, why do I need him now? In the future, my children won't need him cause they have my mom and Joe. They love babies. It's scary to see them around Alex actually. Alex by the way, is the best person to be around when you are dealing with a heart break. He does his little dance and you can't help but smile. And grades, fuck em! I got into State, without opening a book pretty much. So all I need to do is study and I can pull off a 3.0 no problem! Money, it will be solved after this month. I am so relieved to have all this stress gone! All I had to do was sit down and think about everything.

I haven't really been up to much. Watching movies with my whore. We went to Walmart on Saturday. I swear to god, Saturday was everyone go to Walmart day! All I wanted was 1 skein of yarn! Just-a one! I waited for like 30 to 45 min in line to buy this 1 thing! I wouldn't normally of waited, but I was almost done with my shirt! Like 2 rows and the sleeves left. That would of ate at me for like hours and days. Oh! I got asked out by this creepy guy at work, like a customer. He had longer hair than me! Hells no! First of I found the guy I am madly in love with and second he has longer hair than me! Plus he was creepy. Guys kept hitting on me that day. I didn't understand it at all. Maybe I was just so happy to be with my honey again.. Anyways, I haven't done much. Call me if you want to do something. I am still broke and probably going to Cedar Point the weekend after this one coming up. John has never gone. I blame it all on Connecticut! Anyways it will be fun. We'll probably be in the hotel room all Sunday... What I'm innocent?

With my title, that song is the most addicting song I have ever heard. I can't get it out of my head, no matter how much I try. And where has this Davey been? He was not a longer haired kind of person. He cut his hair and I was like hello! I haven't thought many guys are hot lately, but he caught my eye! I take back everything I have ever said about him...
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