(no subject)
Why do i have such an attraction to people who make me feel like shit? I get bothered by the people who actually do like me and are truly nice to me but i always eagerly follow those who are rude and jerkoffs to me. It seems like the more they treat me like shit the more i wanna talk to them. For some reason, evil people attract me. I'm so fucked up. My life is so backwards. Everything about me is flipped up, turned upside down, and shook all around. I think i'm clinically depressed. I wanna see a psychologist but where am i supposed to find one? Its not like my parents will take me to one. God forbid; it'll ruin the good family name if they had a "crazy" in the family. I'm not crazy. I just wanna see someone i can talk to. I think its just my family that's killing me. Slowly killing me. I need to get out of here. I cannot live so supressed for much longer. A whole year until i graduate seems like so long. I HAVE TO GET OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!! Please, someone get me outta the suburbs. I need to be away from all this craziness that surrounds me. I wanna get outta here so i can have a clean slate and start everything that i messed up all over. I'm only in high school and i've already messed stuff up. I hope college is gonna be better than this.