You're back
Virtual Alexander: Hey coz!
Alexander: How's life in the fast lane?
V ME: More like slow; this computer takes forever. Where you been this whole time? I could swear you've been avoiding me.
AH: What me? Never. I've been a little here, a little there.
V ME: Oh yeah?
AH: Yeah.
V ME: Like where?
AH: Washington, Chicago, New York, Boston...
V ME: Oooo, big shot.
AH: Yeah, well sorry about leaving you in the dust. You know how much I care for you. I love everybody so much-- all of you virtual people mean more than I could possibly express. I had to look at some schools and watch baseball around the country.
V ME: Schools? What the hell are you going to college for?
AH: Beer.
V ME: I wish I could taste beer.
AH: Oh, c'mon you know me better than that. I'm actually going to be very responsible. The real reason I'm going is to pursue my dream of being a professional magician and the best way to do that is to attend a fine institute such as Northwestern, Michigan, Columbia...
V ME: I know some magic tricks!
AH: No you don't. You can't even get a friggin' picture to go along with your name.
V ME: Low blow, dude. Low blow.
AH: OK, sorry about that. So what's the best thing you've done this summer?
V ME: I created a fake myspace with its only purpose being to anger and annoy some redneck kid.
AH: Well done. It looks like you have your life all in order. Anyway, I have to let you know that I'm trying to avoid you this school year. I don't really have time for you.
V ME: (sobbing) You're just going to walk out of my life, just like that?
AH: Nah, I'll be around every once in awhile. I'll say "Hello" next time I'm so bored I can't feel my fingers.
V ME: The keyboard helps with that!
AH: Bingo.
Alexander: How's life in the fast lane?
V ME: More like slow; this computer takes forever. Where you been this whole time? I could swear you've been avoiding me.
AH: What me? Never. I've been a little here, a little there.
V ME: Oh yeah?
AH: Yeah.
V ME: Like where?
AH: Washington, Chicago, New York, Boston...
V ME: Oooo, big shot.
AH: Yeah, well sorry about leaving you in the dust. You know how much I care for you. I love everybody so much-- all of you virtual people mean more than I could possibly express. I had to look at some schools and watch baseball around the country.
V ME: Schools? What the hell are you going to college for?
AH: Beer.
V ME: I wish I could taste beer.
AH: Oh, c'mon you know me better than that. I'm actually going to be very responsible. The real reason I'm going is to pursue my dream of being a professional magician and the best way to do that is to attend a fine institute such as Northwestern, Michigan, Columbia...
V ME: I know some magic tricks!
AH: No you don't. You can't even get a friggin' picture to go along with your name.
V ME: Low blow, dude. Low blow.
AH: OK, sorry about that. So what's the best thing you've done this summer?
V ME: I created a fake myspace with its only purpose being to anger and annoy some redneck kid.
AH: Well done. It looks like you have your life all in order. Anyway, I have to let you know that I'm trying to avoid you this school year. I don't really have time for you.
V ME: (sobbing) You're just going to walk out of my life, just like that?
AH: Nah, I'll be around every once in awhile. I'll say "Hello" next time I'm so bored I can't feel my fingers.
V ME: The keyboard helps with that!
AH: Bingo.