Heat, Polyamory, etc.
It has been sooooo hot here! It is miserable combined with allergies. I've spent more time at the river recently than I have in years.
Dh has been extremely attentive lately. He's soul-searching and so am I. He's trying, but failing, at getting used to the idea of sharing me. He swings constantly. I love you so much that I want you to have whatever you desire. I can't share you, it hurts too much. And so on and so on. I've come to realize that I must stop my heart from leaping everytime he sounds positive. I am very pleased, though, that this is making him think, and hard, and he's trying to get to know me better as well as himself. This will be a positive, I'm sure, at some point. Questions for anyone who is polyamorous: How do you keep from falling head over heels? Isn't your significant other terrified that you will decide to live your daily life with someone else? Are you? My husband wants to learn more and actually asked about books. He's not much of a reader. I am impressed. How do he and I learn about this, about others' experiences?
Meanwhile, things with C are strange. We both agree that this is hurting, yet we seem to end up in each other's company as much as possible. Jesse is attached, she's tons of fun for a 6 year old boy. Jasmine has decided that she really likes her, but no longer wants her as a mother. Not quite as nurturing as I am. Yesterday was her birthday, and dh happened to be gone overnight. We went to the beach, bbq'd late, and hung out for awhile after the kids went to bed. She camped in the yard. Oh, how very tempting to stay with her all night! But, kids, you know.
Ex-dh is coming home again soon. More freedom, and stress, for me. I want to homeschool my kids again, but I know it will be a huge battle.
I hate my job. Guess that's it!
Dh has been extremely attentive lately. He's soul-searching and so am I. He's trying, but failing, at getting used to the idea of sharing me. He swings constantly. I love you so much that I want you to have whatever you desire. I can't share you, it hurts too much. And so on and so on. I've come to realize that I must stop my heart from leaping everytime he sounds positive. I am very pleased, though, that this is making him think, and hard, and he's trying to get to know me better as well as himself. This will be a positive, I'm sure, at some point. Questions for anyone who is polyamorous: How do you keep from falling head over heels? Isn't your significant other terrified that you will decide to live your daily life with someone else? Are you? My husband wants to learn more and actually asked about books. He's not much of a reader. I am impressed. How do he and I learn about this, about others' experiences?
Meanwhile, things with C are strange. We both agree that this is hurting, yet we seem to end up in each other's company as much as possible. Jesse is attached, she's tons of fun for a 6 year old boy. Jasmine has decided that she really likes her, but no longer wants her as a mother. Not quite as nurturing as I am. Yesterday was her birthday, and dh happened to be gone overnight. We went to the beach, bbq'd late, and hung out for awhile after the kids went to bed. She camped in the yard. Oh, how very tempting to stay with her all night! But, kids, you know.
Ex-dh is coming home again soon. More freedom, and stress, for me. I want to homeschool my kids again, but I know it will be a huge battle.
I hate my job. Guess that's it!