(no subject)
a lot of crap has been going on lately. i dont care anymore who reads this or whatever because i have to speak my mind somewhere.. anyways, ive started hurting again w/ knee and everything and ive definitely gotten close to quiting a few times this week. today especially i could only run 2 miles and i came back and was rope stretching and coach comes up and is like "im gonna stretch you out" so hes helping me and stuff and then hes like "oh your knee is fine" or something like that and it just pissed me off so bad because he has no clue what im going through and neither does anyone on that stupid team. none of them know what its like to waste 4 months of your life basically doing nothing because of knee surgery and then coming back just to get hurt again. i swear to god, if katelyn says one more time that she knows how i feel, im gonna bitch slap her or take a sledge hammer to her knee so she knows what it feels to have a real injury for once in her life. im so sick of all the talking behind peoples back everyone is doing right now because of all the people quiting. i know i do the same thing, i know EVERYONE does the same thing but some people are getting so annoying about it. its none of their business if someone else wants to quit or if theyve had enough of running for the team. i feel like a lot of people are mad at me for having to turn around a lot but like i said before, they have no clue what im going through or how bad im hurting. besides running school is going bad because im totally lost in algebra 2 and i dont understand a thing. you have to be a genius to pass that class. on the friends end of things, i think heather and sam are getting closer and heather and laurena of course are super close so im kind of getting left out i feel like so i dont know what to do. i dont talk to alysha anymore for some strange reasons and i just feel like im intruding or not invited when im hanging out w/ her and the "beach group" or whatever. i cant talk to anyone on the stupid team about anything because i know every single person on there will go and talk about me the second i get done. im so sick of this crap. on the boys front, i dont know whats going on and i dont care. its not a priority anymore for me. the truth is, i really couldnt have a boyfriend right now.. im already stressed enough as you can tell. this crap with the team is bugging me though. whatever.. i think itll get better once the fun stuff starts again like picnic and tp night etc. i just think im not in cc for the right reasons anymore. dont get me wrong, im gonna finish the season but i dont know what im doing after that. we'll see how things go, thats really far ahead to be looking. and to anyone that reads this and decides to gossip about me behind my back- screw you, talk about me to my face.