9-16-04 missing u

[crazylilchick17]

i havent been on here in awhile, its been one year and its been rough... one full year. the first weeks always the hardest to get through.... but a whole year adds up too. today i had to once again put on another show, this whole day i was completely out of it, ppl would take to me, i'd hear them but i wouldnt really comprehend it. nobody knows n maybe its a good thing. 6th hour with alecia and ashley made me feel alot better maybe cuz i was slap happy for no reason and it was good to laugh for a change. i smiled but i didnt mean it i'd laugh but i didnt know why, n then 6th hour i was just maybe being myself, i dont know anymore. just confusion, i know i have ppl here for me, my friends n all, but they know me well enough that i dont know when to go to them n why i can't. it hurts that i can't n it hurts that i think about it. well i'm heading off to work soon then maybe when i get home i can just go right to sleep and forget about it or have it just be a memory and not reality anymore. like its been for the past year i've been living in it n not after it.

9-16-04
i remembered this far....