life sucks

[crazylife07]

I feel afraid,
Like this is to much to take,
I feel like i can't be saved,
Like the real me is fake,

Inside my stomach are butterflies,
And my body is shaking,
All i do is hide,
Sometimes i can't help but feel forsaken,

I know that if i speak,
My voice will tremble,
I feel so shattered and weak,
And the peices won't reassemble,

My breathing is irregular,
I can't find any control,
I've fallen so far,
Inside my nervous soul,

I smile,
I seem fine,
Meanwhile,
I'm scared out of my mind,

I've been locked away,
For way too long,
I just keep hiding,
even though i know its wrong,

But i can't come out,
I've caged myself too long,
My minds filled with doubt,
Who I used to be is gone,

I hate myself,
for being this way,
And i can never say,
'I just want some help'

I want someone to save me,
But no one knows,
It's just an impossibility,
Just another false hope,

Why am i like this,
Why am i falling apart,
There is so much I'll miss,
Because of my closed heart,

I never say a word,
They don't know why,
My voice won't be heard,
And these smiles are lies,

I made myself like this,
I made myself not whole,
I built the fence,
That guards my soul,

I blame myself for falling apart,
I blame myself for being lost,
To close my heart,
Was such a horrible cost...