mooom

[crazylife03]

I've been feeling, I don't know, rather odd lately. I can't really explain it. The more and more I step back and take a look at my life, what it is and what it may become in the future, I want to get out of here. I just can't stay in this shithole valley anymore. I don't talk to most of my friends from High School. There's Terri and Audra, but really that's about if for the people around here. Well I suppose if you count Nick, Shea, and Jon, Tony, family.. but really, think about it.. of all the people I talk to regularly, those are the only ones who live around here. I play World of Warcraft, for those who don't know, it's a massively multiplayer ONLINE role playing game... kind of like *sims* but with thousands of other people... I have met these 4 guys, all roomates that go to college on the east coast, round here... They are wonderful guys, but will I ever meet them? Probably not. There is Tast, Jonathan, whom lives in Washington state. He came in to visit a few weeks ago and we had the time of our lives; he, chris and i. Among, nick and terri of course. I want change. I think that's what it boils down to. I have serious thoughts about moving to Washington state. Not just because Jonathan lives out there or anything. It's change, hell its the opposite side of the country. Chris' company has an office in Seattle, so that would work, I could find a job out there. And if I don't like it or if it doesn't work out, then we come back home and cut our loses. I've always been one to venture out in search of new horizons. This is such a great opportunity. BUT getting Chris to actually talk to his parents, let alone proving to them this is a good idea, yeah that would NEVER in a MILLION YEARS happen. They don't think he's responsible enough or something. They treat him like a high school kid. And on some levels I don't blame them, he doesn't EVER talk to them. NEVER tells them how things are going *school, work etc* and that bothers them. I never liked talking to my parents either so I can also see his point of view. I would miss my friends, Terri, Audra, even though we fight, I still love her like a sister.. Nick, Shea, Tony, Jon.. I'd miss my family, the babies mostly. I mean, it's the perfect time for a thought like this. I'm getting a fresh start in the *real world* here.. so why not over in Washington? It makes perfect sense to want to get out of here and see the world. But noone will listen to me, they all think I'm crazy. I may appear crazy but Im not. I just wish there were an easier way to explain... ::sigh:: but there's not.

On a lighter note, today... well yesterday... was Chris and my, 17 month anniversary. He bought me pink roses which I thought was adorable and I love him to death! :-) He's so good to me. I couldn't picture my life without him. I really couldn't and I'm sooo thankful to Auj, Mands, Kev, Dave, Eric, Matt.. all of them because if I didnt' know them I wouldn't know him. Thanks Guys!

Just remember even though I bitch, rant, rave, freak out... I still love all my friends more than anything else in the world. *except my baby* I'm sorry for making any of you feel as if I hate you or just pick fights with you for fun. I wouldn't give any of you up for anything!

**beth**